To be furious at the messing around we're having regarding taking his kids on a holiday???

[SpiderStardust]

DP and I thought it would be nice to take both mine and his kids away on a holiday to America. My son is 15 and his sons are 18 and 20.

First issue we had was that in the past his ex has said she didn't want him taking them on holidays abroad "showing off" his money etc etc (she doesn't work and apart from that, doesn't like the hassle of going abroad). So for the past 6 years, his kids have no been abroad.

Well his kids are now adults so we decided to take them abroad if they wanted to go and there would be little she could do about it.

Well she managed to talk SS1 out of the first destination we had planned. However, now that it has changed to New York he says he definitely wants to come however, naturally she is refusing to pay for passports and his kids don't work so we said we'd buy the passports. Now, apparently DSS does not use a mobile phone, WhatsApp or any means of normal communication (bullshit) so DP has to rely on facebook messaging to contact him - which 99% of the time, DSS ignores.

Now we're waiting to book flights but really need to passports sorting first. DP said he'd give the money to DSS and he could sort them out. No reply. A day later he said he could transfer the money into his mother's account for them to sort it out from there - no reply. Finally, DP sent a message asking if they just want us to sort it all out - no fucking reply.

It's just ridiculous. This lad ignores all messages from DP unless he wants something. He says he wants to come on this holiday yet ignores every message about sorting the passports despite the fact that we've now offered to pay for them AND organise them. Meanwhile, we're hanging around like idiots not knowing whether to book flights or not.

I said to DP "do you not think it's a bit rude for him to ignore you like this when we're trying to sort out a holiday for him??" and he thinks the sun shines out of his arse and says "no he's not ignoring me, he just doesn't use facebook much". Bullshit - he logged in an hour ago, those messages have been sat there for days plus, he knows DP is trying to sort this out so surely he'd have the sense to check his messages even if he genuinely didn't use facebook much? and to say he has no mobile or other means of contact?? at 20 years old??

I'm just so frustrated. How is it so difficult to book a holiday with what is essentially, a group of adults??

[MeridianB]

OP, your SSs don't need to go to America because they already have a Disney Dad!!

Seriously though, life is too short for this nonsense. Let your DH crack on with his waiting/babying game and you book a nice trip for you and your son.

[KoalaDownUnder]

They all sound utterly wet and thick.

What kind of 20-year-old does nothing for a year because his mum told him to?

Why doesn't your DP understand the meaning of 'deadline'?

Why is he 'shit-scared' of his wife now that they have no minor children together?

Bloody weird.

[Viviennemary]

I'd be worried they didn't go after you had paid for the flights and it's too late to cancel. Send a text saying assuming you're don't want to come so aren't booking flights for you. I wouldn't book at the present time when they aren't communicating. It will be too much of a headache.

[DaemonPantalaemon]

Thanks for the warning fireside. I genuineLy thought there was a solution. Looks like OP is one of those ranters who simply come to vent but won't do anything to really change the situation. Too bad for her son that she puts up this worthless man first. He is putting his sons first. And no one is putting the OP's son first.

[firesidechat]

Sorry I annoyed you LeaLeander and I was going to leave it there.

[chillycurtains]

How can there be contact arrangements about 18 and 20 year olds? They are adults. That isn't normal or reasonable.

[Throwingshade]

Sorry if you are annoyed Lea and anyone else but the OP has a huuuuuuge long history of posting about the same situations over and over and over and over and over and over (getting the point yet?) again.

Not listening to a word. Disappearing. Coming back.

Moan, leave, rant, repeat.

And much more importantly, if it's all true then her husband is a selfish dick and her son is being hung out to dry. That's not funny.

[Borninthe60s]

Ring him or write and give him a deadline, if you've not heard by then book it without him!

[GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt]

At first I thought you were put upon and deluded to stick with this absolute gibbon of a man.

4 years reading this bollocks.
You sound as bad as him.

Is he a dreamboat in between threads? I suspect not. You got it all sorted then after the other thread where you were definitely going to leave?

[KacieB]

I'm grateful to fireside, throwingshade and others.

It's almost (almost!) a form of trolling to do this kind of thing repeatedly.

[SlightlyJaded]

That five minutes I just spent offering advice would have been better spent cutting out a gold cardboard crown for DS's 'Roman Day' tomorrow. Gah.

[abigamarone]

If the mum is making it difficult now, good luck getting her details for their passport applications.