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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want my married name on my scan/paperwork?

55 replies

CookieKatie · 10/01/2016 08:24

Hi all,

The story is we first went to the midwife when I was six weeks just 2 days shy of getting married (turns out a practice run was all we needed as we lol). So my green book is was completed in my maiden name. I was told this could all be changed once we got married.

We had our midwife home visit at 10 weeks and she didn't change the name. We now have our scan on Tuesday. I was looking at the letter and it says Miss Maiden name. I really want my married name to be on there the tops of the scan.

I know it's such a teeny tiny thing the most important thing about our scan is baby is ok. I've been worrying non stop about that since I fell pregnant and I hoping with every fibre of my being baby is happy and well. It just occurred to me today that I want the right surname on there. Do you think that he technician will change it? As it is my legal name.

Or am I being ridiculous I know a name is just a name and no one will notice this but me. Im just really proud to be married to my husband we waited 7 years to get married and have a baby, it's our baby and we're our own little team. This is the first memento we have and I'd like for it to be a reflection of where we are in our lives.

OP posts:

12purpleapples · 10/01/2016 08:28

When you book in for the appointment then tell them about the name change, and they should be able to alter it on the system. Another option would be to phone the number on the letter on Monday, and tell them then.

CrohnicallyAspie · 10/01/2016 08:30

When I got married, I had to take proof of name change into my GP surgery. From there my medical records were updated, and when I went to hospital appointments new labels were printed to stick over my maiden name.

YANBU to want the correct name on there, but it's not as simple as just changing your name on the scan, it needs to match the rest of your medical records so fill out a change if name at your GP first.

ivykaty44 · 10/01/2016 08:34

I changed my name at my gp surgery and didn't need proof, all my NHS paper work was automatically changed and I haven't found anything with myold name on.

In fact they did it swiftly and very quickly and far better than the bank who still have half my stuff in my old name.

Asskicker · 10/01/2016 08:42

You need to change your details at the GP. It will take a while to filter through to appointments.

I don't think they will change it at the scan. Especially if you are still your maiden name at the GP surgery.

Aspergallus · 10/01/2016 09:44

Yep, needs to be changed properly at your GP with marriage cert to filter through everywhere else.

sooperdooper · 10/01/2016 09:50

Agree you need to take your marriage certificate into your GP surgery and it'll all filter through - you can't just ask them to change it at your scan it needs to be done from the GP so it covers all your medical notes :) it might take a little while for the systems to update but it's the correct way to get it changed

DixieNormas · 10/01/2016 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NinaSimoneful · 10/01/2016 10:18

You don't need to explain yourself, it's your name and you want to use it.

I informed a supplier of my name change yet they still have me down as Maiden Name even though it's Married Name with the bank. I've asked three times for them to change it. I let it go coz it's NBD in that case but you should be able to get yours changed. Bring in marriage certificate and a few ids with your married name, bank card/letter, utility bills if you haven't got passport/ driving licence yet.

Trills · 10/01/2016 10:23

The important thing is to make sure that all of your medical details and history are consistently under one name, so that if there is an emergency it can all be found together.

Original poster

CookieKatie · 10/01/2016 10:25

Hi all!! Thank you for your messages. Glad I'm not being unreasonable.

Only thing I'm confused about it is I have changed my name at my gp. I put in a name change form after the first midwife appointment, they dated the change for 4th Dec and ivery ring the gp since and it shows when I try to meet my gp.

I guess I just assumed the hospital and gp were on different systems :/ gonna ring the hospital Monday see if I can get is sorted before my appointment.

Thanks all

OP posts:

mummycabz · 10/01/2016 10:29

Perhaps it depends where you are? Our gp and hospital systems are different in pembrokeshire, i have a different address at the gp than i do at the hospital so all the stuff from my midwife comes to my current address and my gp stuff goes to my mums, just never got around to changing it xx

Fratelli · 10/01/2016 11:38

Fair enough that you want it on there but staff are really stretched atm. If someone is needing care then a name change is less important. The main thing is that you and the baby are healthy. It's hardly something to get het up about imho.

nocoolnamesleft · 10/01/2016 12:11

Most places I've worked, the GP computer system in no way links up to the hospital system, so you need to get both updated.

Original poster

CookieKatie · 10/01/2016 16:53

Thanks guys! I thought they must be on different system. I know the Maternity administration as I work at the hospital hopefully if I ring her she can change it easily

OP posts:

Champagneformyrealfriends · 10/01/2016 17:21

I got married 3 weeks after booking appointment and they changed it over no trouble! Xx

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated · 10/01/2016 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSkiingGardener · 10/01/2016 18:50

And I think you are not very nice YouGotta. It is th OP's preference to have her correct name on her scan

TheCuttingRdge · 10/01/2016 18:57

I do think you are being a bit precious too tbh.

You got pg before you got married. It's 2016. Getting quite so worked up about trying to cover that up seems a little silly on this day and age.

Helloitsme90 · 10/01/2016 19:02

No I completely understand how you feel! It was a big deal to me too. I wasn't married to OH with our first but number 2 and we've been married just over a year. I love having my married name on my scan. Definitely a first world problem but something I felt strongly about YANBU

WipsGlitter · 10/01/2016 19:03

I don't thing she's trying to cover anything up!! Typical mumsnet response!!

She just wants it to be the right name.

YolandiFuckinVisser · 10/01/2016 19:11

I had a similar thing with dd, I was separated from xh but not yet divorced when I had 1st appointments, was divorced & changed my name back to maiden name but they wouldn't change it on my notes or anything so dd's hospital bracelet thing said 'baby xh's name'. He's not her father BTW. It's a small thing but I don't like it still (she's 9)

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 10/01/2016 19:20

A scan is a medical appointment and as such should have the legal name of the mother to be.

Op has decided to change her name upon marrying, so married name is her legal name.

mrsleomcgary · 10/01/2016 19:24

I changed my name with gp within weeks of getting married and when I got pregnant 6 months later it hadnt still filtered through to the hospital. The staff in the scan dept were able to change it there and then,even though I told them it really didnt bother me. Though in my last pregnacy (dd 3 weeks old) I would frequently see things in notes when the dr is going through them with my maiden name crossed out and replaced with my married name 3 years later!

Icklepickle101 · 10/01/2016 19:24

Slightly different but when I moved house at 9 weeks my midwife told me I needed to let the hospital know when I went for my scan and they would update the 'master record' and print me some new stickers with the correct infor action.

When you check in for your scan they should ask if any details have changed so just let them know.

Original poster

CookieKatie · 10/01/2016 21:16

It seems like a common thing, I'm glad to hear its an easy fix and that no one's had any trouble with it.

For the record I'm not trying to hide I got pregnant before we got married. Anyone who does simple maths can see we fell pregnant early November and got married early December.

We were together for 7 years before we were financially readyto get married we were engaged for nearly a year before getting married. I'm just excited to finally be Mrs. I'm extremely proud and happy to be my husbands wife that's all

OP posts:

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