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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my married name on my scan/paperwork?

55 replies

CookieKatie · 10/01/2016 08:24

Hi all,

The story is we first went to the midwife when I was six weeks just 2 days shy of getting married (turns out a practice run was all we needed as we lol). So my green book is was completed in my maiden name. I was told this could all be changed once we got married.

We had our midwife home visit at 10 weeks and she didn't change the name. We now have our scan on Tuesday. I was looking at the letter and it says Miss Maiden name. I really want my married name to be on there the tops of the scan.

I know it's such a teeny tiny thing the most important thing about our scan is baby is ok. I've been worrying non stop about that since I fell pregnant and I hoping with every fibre of my being baby is happy and well. It just occurred to me today that I want the right surname on there. Do you think that he technician will change it? As it is my legal name.

Or am I being ridiculous I know a name is just a name and no one will notice this but me. Im just really proud to be married to my husband we waited 7 years to get married and have a baby, it's our baby and we're our own little team. This is the first memento we have and I'd like for it to be a reflection of where we are in our lives.

OP posts:
Original poster
CookieKatie · 10/01/2016 21:17

Forgot to mention it is also my legal name that's shown on all my ID, bank cards etc. ..

OP posts:
YouGottaKeepEmSeparated · 10/01/2016 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ludoole · 10/01/2016 22:59

Yougotta If there is a problem the hospital need to let the gp know about then it would be helpful for the op to have corresponding names on the paperwork...
She has chosen her husbands name as the legal name she wishes to be known by.

DinoSnores · 10/01/2016 23:13

"I changed my name with gp within weeks of getting married and when I got pregnant 6 months later it hadnt still filtered through to the hospital"

Lots of GP systems are not linked with hospital systems, so you need to let everyone know your new name rather than assume it will be changed. Same goes for new addresses. The number of times people have complained that they didn't get their follow up appointment, then look confused when I ask if they had given their new address to the hospital.

Anyway, cookie, just tell them when you go for the scan. It should take about 1 minute, if that, to update your records. Hope all goes well.

DinoSnores · 10/01/2016 23:16

yougotta, what a weird post! As a very overworked doctor in the NHS, I actually believe having the correct name on patient records is actually pretty important. Hardly making a fuss asking them to change to the name that she is now using. Hmm

DixieNormas · 10/01/2016 23:27

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueturtle6 · 11/01/2016 08:08

My doctors is too slow and hospital wasn't updated, I would also ask directly to see I can change, take along marriage cert?

scribblegirl · 11/01/2016 08:25

Surely if OP collapsed in the street and was taken to hospital, was IDed as married name based on cards in wallet etc, and the maternity records are in her maiden name, there's a risk she could have medical treatment without HCPs being aware she is pregnant? Or in later preg, how far along/any maternity issues etc?

I don't know for certain but I cant imagine it's totally irrelevant.

Headofthehive55 · 11/01/2016 09:07

We often change people's names at outpatients! They might have been spelt wrong previously or now married. Very simple to do. It's important that your legal name is there particularly when you have blood taken Especially if it's for a transfusion. Otherwise they are not following national procedures.

WaitrosePigeon · 11/01/2016 09:10

TheSkiingGardener

If it was the other way around I'm sure you would have something to say about it.

Headofthehive55 · 11/01/2016 09:12

scribble the records will be linked - the actual paper file is the same one under both names.
yougotta vital importance to change names. Re possible blood transfusion or the lab will reject the bloods as they should.

WhyDoesGastonBark · 11/01/2016 09:22

You need to change your name with the doctor so it changes with the nhs on the whole.

WhyDoesGastonBark · 11/01/2016 09:25

For what its worth, I don't think yabu. It's your name, you want to be called by the right name otherwise what is the point in a name?!

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated · 11/01/2016 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenEric · 11/01/2016 11:02

YANBU to want the correct name on your records.

"it's our baby and we're our own little team. This is the first memento we have and I'd like for it to be a reflection of where we are in our lives."

Sentimental or not there is NOTHING wrong with wanting your married name on your scan photo if you are married. After all that surname will be the babies surname as well. I really don't see what's so pfb about this. I've changed surname twice in my lifetime and each time has been for a big significant reason. I would like people to use my correct name, it is a huge part of my identity and where I am at that moment in time. Seeing an incorrect name on something I was intending to keep for years to come would piss me off as well.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated · 11/01/2016 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Headofthehive55 · 11/01/2016 13:26

yougotta bloods are done with several data points one of which will be the name another will be the hospital number. It is of vital importance that all data points match up. You don't want any doubt when you may give someone a blood transfusion, as it could be fatal.

Although the op was thinking it was a sentimental thing, it is in fact an important change to make.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated · 11/01/2016 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DinoSnores · 11/01/2016 13:40

blueturtle, it isn't your GP's responsibility to pass your new details to the hospital. That's yours and wasn't the doctors being "slow".

yougotta, we only know your hospital number because, when you come in as an emergency or are referred, we ask for your name and date of birth. That allows us to find your hospital or NHS number. Far easier to do if we are all looking for the same name. Anyone who has been in hospital will know that before, well, anything happens to them, blood is taken, a medication is given, whatever, they will be asked to confirm their date of birth.

IamlovedbyG · 11/01/2016 13:47

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Original poster
CookieKatie · 11/01/2016 14:39

I'm sorry if I offended anyone with the post. I'm very well aware how overworked the NHS is due to me working for them! I am another overworked NHS colleague too!! Smile

I'm not worrying or stressing about the name change. It is my legal name and I was pretty sure it would have to be reflected on my medical records as other have pointed out if I collapse and my ID was Mrs married and my records are Miss Maiden then it could be confusing for the records. I just wanted to know other peoples experience of name changing and some insight on it and whether it was worth bothering the technical about or should I ring in beforehand, it's my first baby and I'm not always sure who to ask what and whether it's appropriate. At the end of the day (as I said in my original post) as long as baby is healthy and happy that's all I actually care about.

Thank you to those who have shared their experience and given advice Smile very much appreciated!! Flowers

It's less than 24 hours till my scan and we are super excited to out little one for the first time.

Sending happiness and love to you all

OP posts:
DinoSnores · 12/01/2016 08:41

I wouldn't worry, Cookie. Some people just like an opportunity to lay into people. Hope the scan goes well!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/01/2016 08:50

This place really is full of snippy twats these days who clearly know diddly ducking squat about the subject they are opining on and have to be nasty and abrupt just to look oh so cool Confused
Seems every thread has to have at least one.....

WaitrosePigeon · 12/01/2016 10:13

Took the words out of my mouth hobnob.

Original poster
CookieKatie · 12/01/2016 11:06

Thanhs lovelies Smile It's three hours to my scan and I cannot calm down!! Loll.

OP posts:
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