To wince at people who have homebirths?

[TheCatsMeow]

I never used to, I used to say that everyone should have the birth they want and mean it. But my birth went wrong and I ended up with a baby who would have died had it not been for NICU. If we had been at home, he wouldn't have survived and I may not have.

Every time I hear someone say they want a homebirth my head screams "YOU'RE BEING IRRESPONSIBLE". I get visions of myself and my son lying dead. It frightens me and every time I see a woman who is pregnant I think "I hope they both survive". I don't say any of this unless someone asks and then I just say that I ended up with complications so was greatful to not be at home.

But I feel like people are risking themselves and their babies and it makes me uncomfortable. I think IABU but don't know how to deal with my feelings on this. Please don't be harsh.

If I were to have a 3rd baby I don't think I would have any choice but to plan a home birth as my labours have been very fast, DD's active labour was estimated at 1 hour 23 minutes. With DS and DD I arrived at the hospital with about 1 hour to spare.

I had a textbook low risk pregnancy and the MW suggested a home birth which I declined.

In the event I ended up being in active labour for 2.5 days and DD had to be delivered with forceps because she was over 10lbs. Something that no one picked up on

There's no way I could've done it without help. I sometimes think how much harder it would've all been if I'd had a home birth. I'm really glad I was in hospital.

Unless you have experienced a home birth, you probably won't understand how well looked after you are, compared with a hospital birth. I have had two straight forward home births (after a hospital birth) and both were wonderful experiences - I felt very well monitored and safe. I had quick births, so had two midwives with me the whole time. They were constantly checking on the baby and me for any signs of stress / problems - any sign of a problem and I would have been whisked off to hospital.

But babygro - even if you had chosen a home birth, it sounds like you would have been transferred in to hospital due to the complications. People who actually do give birth at home don't have problems usually - others are transferred in at any sign of trouble.

Baby - I had my first, forceps delivery of 9.5 lb baby in hospital. Thought the same as you.

Second baby, 11lbs, born at home without help.

Homebirth is safe within the context of a system where transfer to hospital is possible and is used when labours deviate from the norm.

People seem to forget this fact when they're assessing how safe or otherwise homebirth is.

Re: PPH - you are less likely to end up needing a transfusion after a homebirth than after a hospital birth.

mrs devere
Well said.

Slithytove
No need to be chippy and aggressive to the OP just because you had a bad experience. She needs our support not being and being told she is arrogant.
OP in my opinion a hospital birth every time. All the facilities are there in case if an emergency. When birthing in the event of a problem minutes matter. There in my opinion is no time to waste waiting for an ambulance plus the journey to hospital. Why put the baby and yourself at risk when you dont need too.

I agree, I have a friend who lives in rural wales, and wanted a home birth, I tried to gently dissuade her to no avail. Baby ended up with meconium in the fluid, she had to be ambulanced to the nearest hospital which was full, the next one was 1.5 hours away by this point the baby was being born ane was very nearly born in the ambulance but the full hospital squeezed them in.

She was ok but it could have gone so wrong. She shrugged it all off with a 'well it all turned out ok in the end'

WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING???

One thing I found when people found out I wanted my babies is at home, is that when questioned further, the people who stated that they or their baby would have died if they hadn't been in hospital had had labour experiences that couldn't even compare to HB e.g. induced, fully monitored with ctg, unable to mobilise, given x amount of minutes to push etc. They couldn't see that these could have been contributing factors to their experience and couldn't be comparable to home as you can't have these interventions at home....it's like comparing chalk and cheese if that makes any sense!?

maggie if they had time to transfer her 1.5 hours then the meconium wasn't a life and death situation that needed immediate attention- if it did, they would have kept and sectioned her at the full hospital. Yes, meconium can be indicative of distress but babies who go overdue can pass meconium (my own included) and show no signs if distress and can be birthed without intervention.
The supervisor of midwives tells me that they are currently changing their meconium guidelines so that they don't automatically become high risk and lead to a cascade of interventions (which is what happened to me!).

My hospital birth was horrible. I was 18 years old, terrified, left alone for long periods of time, my body started involuntarily pushing when I was on my own, afterwards I was in shock, no one checked I was okay, I didn't get fed for over 24 hours, I was made to feel like a nuisance when asking for breastfeeding help. I have no doubt that this lead to my crippling PND.

My home births, I had one midwife to myself the whole time and a second midwife arrive in good time for the birth. I was respected, encouraged and cared for.

I had it explained to me that if something went wrong, they call an ambulance and while I am transferring to hospital, they are setting up the theatre. They said it takes 15 mins to set up theatre so it would be like I had been in hospital anyway. They would also transfer me at the first sign of any trouble.

I guess it's a balance of risks. There is actually quite a surprising number of adverse situations that can be handled by a home birth midwife so this made me feel safer. I suppose I could argue that as my risks are statistically lower with home birth than hospital birth, I would be irresponsible to choose a hospital birth.

I guess it's a balance of risks.

This. Entirely this.
And IMO the balance of risk or rather how those risks are presented has been rather unfairly skewed against home births.
Only a couple of generations HB were the norm and I think the trend is turning a little again.

At some point you need to choose to go to hospital in labour if you are planning a hospital birth. You have no idea whether your baby is in distress at that point, whilst labouring at home so irresponsible right?
So into hospital at the first contraction?

I didn't make a labour room with one of mine and I was an inpatient on the wards at the time. Fortunately my community midwife lived a few streets away so next time it was always going to be at home birth. Irresponsible? No I just gave my baby the best chance of someone being there. I didn't make my own bedroom.

I'm sorry you had a bad birth experience, OP, but YABVU to criticise women who make a different choice, particularly when you're not even coming at it from a position of 'tried homebirth, it went wrong.' For you it was a hospital birth that was the bad experience, but no-one is telling you that you made the wrong decision in opting to give birth in hospital. You're taking your experience of one particular birth option and projecting it onto women who have/are making a completely different choice, which isn't particularly logical. I know you say 'I don't say any of this' but you are saying it. You're saying it on a public forum full of women who have made/are in the process of making all sorts of different birth choices.

I would strongly recommend looking into some sort of debriefing. I know a few people who've taken up that option and found it incredibly helpful.

I live in an area with one of the highest home birth rates in the country - usually highest or second highest in any given year. There is an experienced, supportive team of community midwives, lots of information available, and a monthly home birth group attended by midwives, student midwives and parents-to-be. Anyone considering a home birth in our area is about as well-informed as they can be.

My understanding is that one of the reasons home births aren't considered high risk is that with the small number of things that can go catastrophically, instantly wrong, you could be standing right in front of the most experienced consultant in the country and there'd still be no difference in the outcome. The vast majority of complications have warning signs, and with the level of care that comes with a home birth, you have a very good chance of having it picked up as early, or possibly even earlier, as with a hospital birth. Unless you're a long way from a hospital there's unlikely to be a delay in getting to theatre, as the necessary prepping will be done while you're on your way, rather than waiting in the hospital for a theatre to be ready.

I had DS1 in a London hospital with an extremely good reputation. I came perilously close to an unattended birth due to staffing levels and the midwives not believing I was progressing as fast as I was. It was very quick and ultimately straightforward, but pretty stressful, and it took far longer to get discharged than it should have done as we were missed off two lists and not seen by whoever it was that was supposed to see us.

I had DS2 at home in the area we now live in. It was extremely fast, but very calm, with one-to-one midwife care and good communication, meaning that no-one was caught on the hop. Midwives were cleaned up and gone within a couple of hours and family life was barely disrupted at all.

I'm now expecting DC3 and, barring complications, this will also be a home birth. Our nearest hospital is only about 4 miles away, but to get to it we have to go into the city and through some of the worst traffic in the area. If we had to go in we'd probably get there in under 10 minutes with blue lights, whereas it could be the best part of half an hour if we tried it by car at a busy time. Given the speed of previous deliveries, setting off in the car to try to get to the hospital would be a deeply stupid idea.

For me, a homebirth is not only the most desirable option - it's the safest and most responsible option, and while I absolutely understand that people can't help their feelings about their own experiences, it's completely inappropriate to project those feelings onto other people. Everyone has different circumstances and everyone has to weigh things up and reach a decision about the best option for them, and they should be able to do this without judgement.

If someone had started a thread on here saying that people who give birth in hospital are ill-informed and irresponsible they would have been ripped to shreds, quite rightly. People who have home births aren't all frivolous whale-music fanatics who think Mother Nature will look after them - the vast majority are perfectly sensible women making an entirely appropriate and valid choice.

It's my understanding that some hospitals and midwife units would have to transfer you to a different hospital if things weren't going according to plan.

mini I think it is very clear what you meant.

dd2 birth wasn't great. and that was entirely down to the actions of the hospital. that doesn't mean that what happened wouldn't have happened. BUT had I been witg a midwife at home who talked to me instead if leaving ne in a bed strapped to a monitor looking only at screens things would have been different.

I was tired
stressed
abandoned
had no clue what to expect having had a H previously.

they sent dp home and pretty much ignored me despite what I was telling g them and despite what my pregnancy notes said.

and I believe the constant manhandling if dd2 contributed to her being g so ill. she ended up with a uti however I think.there was more going on. she was born healthy. and a ton of swabs and examinations on me over the months turned up nothing

whatever she got, that stopped her from waking and feeding properly and resulted in the uti, she got from hospital.

everything she was admitted with, she git from hospital.

had I been home I firmly believe shed have been fine.

My second DC was born at home and we had a much better experience including being attended to by two experienced midwives, unlike when I had my eldest in hospital and I was left alone for a lot of the time as staff were far too busy trying to cope with the number of women and babies coming in.

Things can and do go wrong with hospital births, there are so many horror stories and more interventions take place compared with home births.

Its a case of assessing all the risks - we were near two hospitals and were fully prepared to be moved if there were difficulties.

I agree OP but as my births have both been far from straightforward it may have skewed my thinking slightly

Yabvu, but I'm sorry you had such an awful experience.

I've had both and you are much much better looked after at home. First sign of trouble (eg heart rate dipping) you ate whisked straight to hospital anyway.

I also think it's strange that no one ever argues standalone MLUs are dangerous.

I have had one very high risk birth so for me HB would be out of the question. Of the people I know of who had a home birth all are sensible, educated people who I have no doubt would go into hospital at the first sign of danger.

It is the unassisted birthers that gave me palpitations. I was once on a forum where there were quite a few of these huffing and puffing that the midwives/doctors were only out to spoil their perfect birth, and that any intervention was akin to being raped They all talked about trusting their bodies to know what to do etc. There was one who was overdue a very big baby (nearly 11lbs) and I was really worried about her. Thankfully all was well.

Flat

There is no evidence that opting for a homebirth puts babies at additional risk.

It's as simple as that.

There is on the other hand a good body of evidence that healthy mums who opt for a hospital birth are putting themselves at additional risk of severe maternal outcomes because of the greatly increased likelihood of them ending up on an operating table having emergency abdominal surgery. Blood transfusions. General anaesthetic. Hospital acquired infections. DVT's. Severe blood loss. All more common in hospital births, with no gains for babies.