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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To not find time to bath my children?

627 replies

Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:22

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

OP posts:
flippyflapper · 12/01/2016 13:23

Wow I have 5 children work part time and have friends relatives over pretty much every afternoon.

All my children get bathed everyday and my house is clean.

You need to prioritise get up make bed run round clean toilets get kids off to school come back stick laundry on run hover over.
Stick dinner in slow cooker and off to work I go.

I honestly can't believe you don't have time

TSSDNCOP · 12/01/2016 13:35

On page 8 the OP, having taken on board many suggestions, outlined her plan. Credit to her for realising there was an issue and addressing it.

You should read it. You can probably manage that whilst you're patting yourself on the back too.

wannabestressfree · 12/01/2016 13:38

Tss you said that far more eloquently than I :)

Ellieboolou27 · 12/01/2016 13:42

I bath my toddler 1-2 times a week, the rest of the time it's sink wash with flannel, hands/face/privates/feet, slap on a bit of baby powder and it takes 10 mins at least, to those who says it only takes them fives mins must have extremely good children as mine wiggle about so takes a bit longer. I bath my baby 2 a week she's 4 months and comes in with me

ColeslawSandwich · 12/01/2016 13:53

Well said TSS Grin

imwithspud · 12/01/2016 13:56

Not read the whole thread but my dd's get a bath every other night, more often if needed obviously. Sometimes it's just a quick wash, other times they have a play, depends on time constraints and how tired they are but I love knowing they're nice and clean and cosy afterwards.

There's really no excuse not to ensure your children are clean, would you yourself be happy to have a wash once a week? Probably not so why subject your kids to it?

ninared · 12/01/2016 13:59

really??? C'mon OP

I manage to bath 3 children on my own daily. It's not building a nuclear bomb or performing brain surgery

Just suck it up and bathe them every day ffs

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/01/2016 14:00

Oh ffs Hmm

Zogthebiggestdragon · 12/01/2016 14:10

I wonder if the magic 2 minute bath so many PPs seem to have will become as recognised as the amazing Mumsnet chicken? My (ancient, massive) bath takes ages to fill to a reasonable depth.

I'm impressed with the number of people who seem to think NOT bathing daily is abuse, but dumping kids in 2 inches of water for 3 minutes is acceptable. But then, I've RTFT.

Krampus · 12/01/2016 14:13

Poach the chicken in the bath at the same time for extra efficiency.

TheSecondViola · 12/01/2016 14:19

Reading the fucking thread isn't brain surgery either, but you don't seem able to manage that. Hmm

BrokenVag · 12/01/2016 14:22

slap on a bit of baby powder

Snowglobe1 · 12/01/2016 14:26

I do sympathise. I have 3 kids, they probably only get a long fun bath once a week. The older two swim twice so they have a proper shower then, and one rushed-off-my-feet bath one evening too. It is hard to fit in, but mine need 4 a week (the 2 year old sometimes needs an extra, but he has fewer activities so it's easier).

ninared · 12/01/2016 14:30
  • glowingly multitasks sucking it up and puts chicken in bath to poach while simultaneously bathing 3 kids

cannot believe it can be done!! as tricky as brain surgery!!!

Thanks krampus for the tip

Nodowntime · 12/01/2016 14:41

Krampus, lol

Just wait, they will be more mums rocking up and telling the OP how they DO poach the chicken and clean/do homework/read a novel/learn a language all while giving a twice daily bath to their ten kids Grin

Zogthebiggestdragon · 12/01/2016 14:48

Maybe bung some tarragon in there for flavour? Probably also good for the skin...

merrymouse · 12/01/2016 16:20

Agree Cavardossi - we certainly don't currently have sufficient resources to enable 7 billion people to live in air conditioned/heated houses with plentiful hot water on tap, and clothes washed and tumble dried after every use.

Ellieboolou27 · 12/01/2016 18:27

Yup brokenvag slap it on, I don't do the sharpe intake if breath though as would inhale it (always one to take things literally)

QueenJuggler · 12/01/2016 20:10

Apologies all - having trouble posting whilst overseas. I'm back in the UK next week so will post the recipe thread then.

LittleBearPad · 13/01/2016 01:45

Chuck a bit of baby powder in there whilst you're at it. It'll thicken the bath water nicely. Hmm

fuzzpig · 13/01/2016 02:15

Hi Poppy I'm not sure if you'll read this so I'll PM you anyway but I just wanted to say I really relate to so many of your struggles. You are doing well to confront it Thanks

mathanxiety · 13/01/2016 04:24

If I put my laundry out today I would be still frozen to the clothes line, assuming I managed to pull even one item of clothing out of my basket before it froze solid. It is about -10 out there and will be for the foreseeable. I spent 5 minutes scraping ice off the inside of my windshield this morning after preciously dealing with the snow on the outside.

In summer I would have a hard time putting any laundry out as I don't have a clothesline, or a garden. I imagine there are many people around the world whose lives are spent in above ground apartments with no room to string a clothesline outdoors.

I use a communal washing machine and dryer that is provided in the basement of my building. It is not particularly convenient or cheap for me, but I have no choice about lugging my loads of laundry down two flights and then down into the basement, and then all the way back up again. I had three children before moving into my previous home, a house, and lived in apartments with the children and a similar laundry arrangement -- second floor walkup with laundry facilities in the basement, lug baby/toddler/small children and full basket of laundry with you winter and summer alike, or risk leaving baby/toddler/small children upstairs at home while going about your business. Having a dryer at your disposal doesn't mean your laundry isn't time consuming or that it doesn't require effort.

I put items that don't go into the dryer in the bathroom on hangers that I hang on the shower rail. They dry much faster in winter when the air is usually bone dry than in summer when humidity makes it difficult.

Most US laundry detergents are not enzymatic. Most American dryers run on natural gas. It's fairly cheap, and most detergent won't bring you out in boils.

................
The reason I mentioned 'derriere' washing was to highlight that it's easy to judge others for their washing habits. You're judging Brits on their (supposedly) poor hygiene and I'm saying that someone else can do the same to you. See, you didn't like being judged - you answered with 'it's none of your business'.
Leelus, if you read my post you will find that there was absolutely no judgement of British washing habits. I responded to your comment that hot weather accounted for daily showering in Australia by pointing out that Americans (who also experience hot weather) also shower daily even though most spend their lives in indoor heat in winter and AC in summer, with very little deviation from a range of 15 to 20 degrees C even though it may be as it is today -10 outdoors here but in summer it can get to 35 C outdoors. I spent the day indoors apart from having to go out all bundled up to scrape and de-ice my car and then drive in it while it was still freezing. I wore trousers and a 3/4 sleeve top at work, and flats. I changed into a down filled coat, snowboots and scarf and I pulled on a sweater over my top for outdoors wear.

Let me refresh your memory:
Q.
Is it a British thing to not bathe every day? I'm in Australia and no one I know would admit to not showering or having a bath every day. I also can't imagine a bath taking an hour. 15 minutes is plenty of time for my kids to have a wash and play.

A. (Leelus)
It's a lot hotter in Oz so the same rules don't apply. I have very sensitive skin, so I bathe every other day. I think it's good to let your skin develop some natural oil. I have a bidet and also wash face, neck, hands as necessary so this isn't an issue. I'm always told I look younger than I am, so don't know if this is a benefit of not bathing daily.

Mathanxiety, referring to sentence in italics:
'Both hot and colder areas of the US, as well as places where summers are hot and winters are frigid, have the same daily washing culture, so outdoor temps really don't have that much to do with it. Plus most people are not out in the extreme heat and have AC in homes and workplaces so summer heat and humidity isn't that much of a factor. Soap is considered a really good thing all over the US.')

I'm in Australia and no one I know would admit to not showering or having a bath every day.
Likewise, Americans would never admit to not taking a bath or shower every day. But there are quite a few Brits (here on MN anyway) who talk of every other day or even less frequent showering/bathing habits. Whether Americans and Australians really wash every day is up for grabs. My own observation suggests that Americans really do -- but the point is that in one culture it is so ingrained that daily showering is necessary and expected that you would not dare to admit to not doing it, whereas in the other this is not the case. I think this is interesting.

'Soap is considered a good thing all over the US' could equally have been read by you as a comment on Americans blindly following accepted wisdom, but heyho.

CheerfulYank · 13/01/2016 05:16

I'm not sure how my fellow countrymen feel about soap :o

My DC get a bath every day. The baby really needs it; he spits up a lot and also self feeds and is a mess by the end of the day. The other two (2 and 8) I just do because.

My washer and dryer (I'm the same as math in that I live in a climate not always conducive to line drying- it was -23 your temp today) are in the bathroom so I get a lot of laundry done while the DC play in the tub.

Sounds like you're doing well OP. I'm trying to get tidier/more organized too, it can be hard.

CheerfulYank · 13/01/2016 05:17

It will be proof of non-trollery in years to come. "Pom bear, cube of poo, magic chicken, two minute bath..." :o

PrimalLass · 13/01/2016 09:55

There should be a report button for posters who have not RTFT. It should make their posts turn fluorescent to highlight the fuckwittery.