To not find time to bath my children?

[Poppybella2015]

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

Our boiler is broken, no hot water or heating right now. It's bloody freezing I tell you!

A bath involves heating pots on the stove and taking upstairs to the bathroom.

There's no way I'm doing that daily for 4 people! The last time it broke we were without hot water for a month.

Once or twice a week is fine in winter with in-between-washes.

Mathanxiety

Both hot and colder areas of the US, as well as places where summers are hot and winters are frigid, have the same daily washing culture, so outdoor temps really don't have that much to do with it. Plus most people are not out in the extreme heat and have AC in homes and workplaces so summer heat and humidity isn't that much of a factor. Soap is considered a really good thing all over the US.

You really don't know how often people shower. Also, not showering is not the same as not washing at all. Do you wash after using the loo? Do you know many cultures would consider not washing after using the loo (just using toilet paper) dirty?

You're also insulting to people in countries who can't shower every day due to water issues.

Glad that soap is considered a good thing all the US. Apparently so is eczema, as it's on the rise.

It is almost unthinkable for Americans not to shower daily. They would be as baffled by the idea of topping and tailing at the sink as they are by the thought of drying your laundry on a clothesline.

Eczema is on the rise everywhere: the NHS in 2009 said 40% over the previous five years. Some studies have blamed it on central heating, carpeting and especially bath gels and lotions.
'whereas we used to bathe only once or twice a week, we are now showering or bathing at least once a day. That in itself is not a problem. However, the nation's increased desire for cleanliness has been mirrored by an equal rise in the use of bubble baths and shower gels. Over the past 20 years, spending on such products has almost doubled in high street stores.

Crucially, both gels and bubble baths often contain chemicals that are now known to trigger eczema. 'Skin cells have various fats on their surface that help them retain water,' said Cork. 'Surfactants in gels and bubble baths can break these fats down and disrupt the cells' water content. They shrivel up - producing eczema's symptoms.'

Similarly, baby wipes have largely replaced the use of cotton wool and water. These too can 'contain crude surfactants and perfumes' which can 'decrease the integrity' of the skin, state the researchers. Again, the end result is eczema.

In addition, the increase in central heating, double glazing and carpeting has produced warmer, more comfortable homes - both for humans and for dust mites. 'Dust mites thrive in carpets in warm houses,' said Cork.

'That can cause problems for asthma sufferers, of course but it also poses problems for those prone to eczema. Dust mites secrete toxins that have much the same effect that surfactants in bubble baths can have. They disrupt skin cells' water content.'

Even cats - whose ownership has doubled in Britain over the past three decades - are involved, say the group. Their fur provides homes for mites, while they also produce chemicals that can trigger eczema.'
www.theguardian.com/uk/2002/may/12/research.medicalscience

Hurrah for good old soap!!

I doubt people are coming after me with pitchforks for allegedly insulting them for their washing habits.

DH and I lived in our camper for 30 days....with limited water in the tank and the need to flush toilets and do dishes one might think top and tail....no no not here. full showers at the local pool, and guess what no charge what so ever (25cents) for a locker if need be.
whether it is just the two of us or if it would have been all five of us, we would shower daily.

Mathanxiety - slightly redundant copy and paste post as most people use some some sort of gel in the shower so it doesn't matter if it's the gel or the water causing the eczema.

I note that you didn't answer my question about washing after usung the loo?

And where did I suggest that anyone is coming after you with pitchforks?

Actually it matters a lot what causes eczema. If you know that it's not water and it's probably not, though each individual case is different then you can give up the gel or the bubble bath or whatever, and see how you do.

I think it's good to let your skin develop some natural oil.
And if you read the C&P article, you will see that the good doctors think so too, so they advise against gel because it breaks down the oil.

Let's see, your question about washing after using the loo ... is none of your business.

And yes, I am sure many cultures would find not washing (I presume one's derriere) after using the loo dirty.
But why did you feel the need to state that? Where did I say or imply that anyone was dirty?

It's a big part of the American swish to shower every day, despite living in either heated indoor or cooled indoor environments all year long. The heating makes showering pleasant in winter. The AC keeps mould at bay in bathrooms in a hot and humid summer.

Pitchforks -- no you didn't say anything about pitchforks, just that I have insulted people, apparently, by stating that Americans tend to shower every day. Or maybe it was what I said about soap. I am sincerely wondering how I have managed to incur your ire here.

Do you think I'm having a go at you, or is there something specific I have said that has got your goat? (And yes, I realise it's unlikely that you have a goat.)

I firmly believe a rise in eczema can be explained by more frequent use of bath and shower gels rather than a rise in bathing itself. A lot of these gels contain highly irritating ingredients but most people don't realise this. And I'm not talking about "sulfates", some of which are mild, I'm talking about "natural" ingredients such as rosemary, mint and citrus oil (to name a few) and the strong fragrances a lot of these products have.

Tbh, unless you're doing manual work that causes you to get dirty all over then a shower with plain water and using some soap or mild shower gel only in areas that tend to get sweaty/smelly is probably best. Arms and legs don't need it that often!

Leelu agree that people do not know how much everyone in their own country washes.

I was laughing earlier reading comments like "is this a British thing", how odd! A few posts on a forum does not indicate what most British people do. I am British and when I go to campsites see lots of people going to have a shower, when I stay with friends and family, or on holiday with them, we all seem to have a daily shower. In my mind it's a normal everyday British thing to have a shower or bath.

But I don't go around canvassing people on how often they shower I have never asked my own family let alone people at work! They don't smell so I really don't dwell on it. I have lived and worked in the US and some of them definitely don't wash enough. It may be common to shower daily in the US but you can't then extrapolate that everyone does.

I am not commenting on whether it's right to shower daily.

I think it's less common to use deodorant in the us (based on sniff-testing and tv ads in my time there)
and their washers are shit. si naybe it's the clothes that smell.

I personally have found that as all of mine have sensitive skin a bath or shower every night makes it worse. So Mine have a bath maximum twice a week and wash their hair once. But youngest has a daily bottom wash in the shower, it takes about 20 seconds. And obviously a face wash. The middle one has an extra feet wash as he is prone to smelly feet.

pinktardis try putting little one on toilet before you go bed, dont talk to your child, hold her up will be floppy lol i usee to do it at 10pm and it worked. Do for a week or two then stop . Reduce drinks 1hr before bed should work.

2 is young but my son was that age he trained fast. my girl is 3 yrs old and i have to nag her togo toilet she always wants me with her im.going nuts it was so easy with the other 3.

If you bath or shower everyday then you must use some lotion or oil afterwards to prevent dry skin. The problem is there might be people who shower dry them selves and that is it. I know a few people who do this and they wonder why they have dry skin. You would think it's common sense.

mathanxiety - I found your comment 'Soap is considered a really good thing all over the US' a little smug and arsey but you haven't incurred my ire.

The reason I mentioned 'derriere' washing was to highlight that it's easy to judge others for their washing habits. You're judging Brits on their (supposedly) poor hygiene and I'm saying that someone else can do the same to you. See, you didn't like being judged - you answered with 'it's none of your business'.

On your point regarding gels, I agree that people should choose what they bathe with carefully. However, some people are also sensitive to hard water, so not using gel won't make any difference.

The problem is there might be people who shower dry them selves and that is it. I know a few people who do this and they wonder why they have dry skin. You would think it's common sense.

That's me, but without the dry skin. Never used body moisturiser, never needed it (I'm 38). Don't use perfumed products and shower/bath 6 times a week (hair twice a week). On what planet does buying products to strip oils from skin and then buying more to put moisture back make sense?!

However, some people are also sensitive to hard water, so not using gel won't make any difference.

This.

Vegetable, lmao about the deodorant and washer comment. Clearly, you do not live in or have not visit the US ( or perhaps you visit shady Americans) I've lived in the US for over 25 years and have rarely met anyone, outside of a few self proclaimed "hippies" who wear no deodorant. The Bosch washing machine I've had for the past ten years is fab.

Having said that, I do think American's can be obesessed with showering and fragrance. I spend a good deal of time looking for soaps and lotions that are not highly perfumed.

did u know u can get water filters fitted to water supply softens water? worth the cost if eczema huge prob and u think its the water supply?

Krampus, agree completely! Comments like 'it's unthinkable for Americans not to shower daily' aren't helpful, for this reason, as you say, you can't extrapolate to the whole population.

I think if someone were to come on the boards and see disgust for anyone not showering daily (or bathing their children daily) then that may influence them to make changes that are not suitable for them.

That's me, but without the dry skin. Never used body moisturiser, never needed it (I'm 38). Don't use perfumed products and shower/bath 6 times a week (hair twice a week). On what planet does buying products to strip oils from skin and then buying more to put moisture back make sense?!

I have moisturised from as little as I can remember. I do the same to my little girl. Her skin is soft so is mine. My mother, sister, cousins and uncles all do the same. None of us have problems with eczema or skin conditions.

mathanxiety

They would be as baffled by the idea of topping and tailing at the sink as they are by the thought of drying your laundry on a clothesline

As baffled as their (great)grandparents(AND most of the world, at least those in warm/hot climate) would be by the idea of NOT drying your laundry in the sunshine.

I mean, I'm immensely grateful for the existence of dryers, having got one only five years ago after years of resistance from my English husband("they are expensive to run" and unnecessary, yeah, esp. when you live in a damp house with several children and central heating on sporadically ).

But I still have to hang plenty of clothes up to dry, they are not suitable for dryers - what do Americans do about those? And I wouldn't think of using it when the weather is good(no constant rain) during the warm seasons, the washing smells so lovely of fresh air when dried outside, and for the whites the sun bleaches everything better than washing powder etc (esp. as I can't use bio for my youngest's stuff)

Obviously it's more work and more time consuming than chucking everything in the dryer, but apart obvious saving on electricity costs, I just strongly feel that it's more environmentally friendly than running high power appliances daily- when you could avoid it.

Sorry, can't find who said they had a shower every night for themselves and children (possibly a shower AND a bath for themselves daily!)and then put the kids into clean pjs. Obviously pjs are clean, why would anyone even mention it, unless they meant they put a new set of clean PJs on every night?

If that's what was meant, that's a mystery to me as well, so you scrub yourself and the kids just before getting into your nightclothes, and 7-10 hours they NEED to be laundered? What happens at night? Constant sweating?

Op this is neglectful. I have stopped washing my dds hair more than once a week but they are bathed (3 and 6) every other night at least. If they have a wetting accident they are bathed no matter what even if it's a quick shower over their bottom half. Anything less than washing a child who has wet themselves at the very first opportunity is neglectful.

I am a lone parent working part time and we do 3 activities a week plus a couple of play dates. I've never struggled to bath the kids.

I dread to think what else you are struggling to manage

Thus spake the poster who failed to read any of the thread past the OP's first post...

I have moisturised from as little as I can remember. I do the same to my little girl. Her skin is soft so is mine. My mother, sister, cousins and uncles all do the same. None of us have problems with eczema or skin conditions.

I'd rather let DD's skin breathe and do the job it's biologically inclined to do. We both have extremely soft skin and no excema or sensitivity.

Never use lipbalms or handcreams either - once you start you have to use them forever. Cher Ching for cosmetic companies!

I admit to having lost track of the last few pages of the thread, but as this seems to have turned into a general discussion of washing, and cultural variations on washing/bathing norms - presumably someone's mentioned generational differences/social class norms in the past and present/and poverty?

I grew up poor in the 1970s with an outdoor loo and no bathroom for the first eight years of my life - and even the possibility of tin baths was limited by the tiny, cold house, and the fact that the main door of the house opened into the kitchen, where the bath would have been taken. My grandfather, uncle and father all had dirty manual jobs, but would have had to strip wash in an unheated bedroom, probably - lots of people in similar houses would have gone to the local public baths. My sisters and I had our hair washed in the kitchen sink, because there was nowhere else. Even when we built a bathroom (no shower), baths were once a week on Saturday.

Where my mother grew up in the country (1950s/60s), men washed only their face and hands at night after a day in the fields - proper washing or bathing was on Saturday night, so they were clean for Mass.

Many of these things are not an issue for many first-worlders today, and there's certainly a greater expectation of cleanliness, but there are still people living in poverty for whom heating water for a bath or shower isn't insignificant, or heating a room enough for it not to be unpleasant to have a stripwash. And I think even now there are probably generational and gender differences in relation to frequency of washing...?