Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To not find time to bath my children?

627 replies

Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:22

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

OP posts:
PeridotPassion · 09/01/2016 23:03

Sneering at other mothers who chose to bathe their DC less frequently than you do, makes you a bit try-hard

Also THIS.

DisappointedOne · 09/01/2016 23:05

My DC were never put to bed without a bath, it was their nightly routine and very enjoyable

One of my SILs is obsessed with this. Kids get showered in the morning and bathed every night even if they've fallen asleep in the car and it's past bedtime. (My DD would just be transferred to bed fully dressed in those circumstances, not woken up and scrubbed, dried and changed). She insists on using harsh washes and a scrubber on them (even though the littlest has excema Sad).

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 09/01/2016 23:09

They do need washed once a day. To keep them clean and help them develop basic hygiene routines.

They don't need scrubbed from head to toe vigorously as they have never built up that level of dirt. Just the same as it does to take me very long to clean the house as I keep on top of it, rather than having to have a 7 hour marathon blitz once a week.

Keeping yourself clean (including teeth) is a basic life skill and necessity. Not something that should be secondary to doing fun things. Particularly when you're dealing with young children who are relying on their care givers to help them out with stuff like this

There's a ton of much more enjoyable things that I'd rather do than, say, feed the baby in the middle of the night. Like sleep. Should I just leave her to it?

OP - hope you get on well with the cooking. The mumsnet cook book is very good

Squishyeyeballs · 09/01/2016 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/01/2016 23:13

Peridot - I think the problem people are having is that these children do need bathing more often - one wets herself at school, and stays in the wet knickers for the rest of the day.

There is nothing wrong with bathing children less frequently, as long as they don't need baths - but not bathing a child who has wet themselves during the day really is a problem.

nicestrongtea · 09/01/2016 23:16

I consider it basic hygiene to have a bath or shower daily.
Small DC who are in nappies /not reliable with toileting get smelly.

Do what you like- its lazy to not bath your children /yourself daily.
Not trying to out do or try hard nor do I scrub my DC with a scrubber or harsh washes Grin
Every 5-6 days is disgusting ,so stop trying to justify it by having a go at me !

nicestrongtea · 09/01/2016 23:20

totally agree GobGrin
its just basic but it seems some just haven't been taught this.

Right off to bed - im clean and in clean pjs < shock>

DisappointedOne · 09/01/2016 23:22

My daughter wets at school too. Not sure why you think her whole body would need washing rather than just her nether regions. Hmm

PeridotPassion · 09/01/2016 23:23

Do what you like- its lazy to not bath your children /yourself daily

Every 5-6 days is disgusting ,so stop trying to justify it by having a go at me

Hmm times 1000.

Quite a few of us on this thread should obviously be hanging our heads in shame and bowing down to your superior parenting. Not to mention a fair few dirty adults on the thread who probably don't shower and wash their hair daily themselves.

I'm not justifying anything - why would I? I don't feel the need to justify not bathing my kids daily because IMO, daily baths for the sake of them (and not when needed, like for bedwetters...which neither of mine are) is excessive. And unnecessary.

steppemum · 09/01/2016 23:23

OP - if you do come back. Please have a quick chat with your dds teacher about the toilet.

My dd was terrible at wetting herself, we had loads of school accidents when she was little. Then she improved and was fine.

Suddenly in year 2, she was coming home wet, and very embarrassed. When I realised and got to the bottom of it, she told me they were 'not allowed' to go to the toilet except at playtime, she couldn't wait, and was wetting herself.

I went in and spoke to the teacher. She was mortified. They had been telling the children they needed to go at playtime so they weren't wandering out of the classroom all the time. there was a big push on 'go at playtime, not in class' My dd had interpreted that as you COULDN'T go during class. The teacher had never intended that, and said of course she could go and how awful for her to be wet and embarrassed.

I am sure if you spoke to her, and told her dd was coming home with wet knickers, she would work something out, even if it is a little signal dd can give her to let her know she has to go.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 09/01/2016 23:26

Oh - and I said I could do all 3 in a short space of time if I need to. I don't often need to do it quickly and they can have nice baths in which they play and relax before bed.

My point is - it doesn't have to be a mammoth, terrible task that takes hours and hours (thus an excuse by some parents for not doing it)

Squishyeyeballs · 09/01/2016 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoMoTy · 09/01/2016 23:27

Bathing Once a week especially children is absolutely grim. And they probably do smell even if you think they don't. How do you think that's ok.

PurpleDaisies · 09/01/2016 23:30

RTFT MoMo.

MoMoTy · 09/01/2016 23:32

Was not referring to the op.

PeridotPassion · 09/01/2016 23:36

Squishy...me neither. At the age of 29, I can probably count on two hands the number of times I've showered before bed Shock

I shower in the morning, always have. Clearly that makes me a dirty tramp...just imagine, i'm putting my PJ's onto a body that hasn't been washed since morning Shock Shock . Pulling my PJ's over hair that's not seen shampoo for at least 10 hours. Filthy bugger that I am.

DisappointedOne · 09/01/2016 23:57

I wonder how much excema there was in the 1950s, when baths for everyone (including miners) took place once a week and there wasn't this obsession with stripping the body of its natural oils. Hmm

Pigeonpost · 10/01/2016 00:07

What?!! Your toddler smells cheesey by Tues yet you only bath on a Sun? Mine bath 2-3 times a week. Showers if short of time. Your post is baffling. Presumably you find time to feed them so find time to bath them too, straight after tea if necess.

Pedestriana · 10/01/2016 00:09

Shower is much quicker than bath. For long hair, plait & pin up under a showercap.

DD's not keen on the shower but will sit on the bathmat in about 2 inches of water with the shower running.

SuckingEggs · 10/01/2016 00:32

I shower twice a day sometimes, but usually once minimum and always before bed. Bloody lovely.

GlitterGlassEye · 10/01/2016 00:34

I have 3dc. Ds(12) showers every morning. Dd1(8) loves a bath but our water pressure is shite so leisurely bubble bath on a Sunday only but about 2-3 showers during the week. She has bum length hair so it gets towel dried and plaited. Very rarely blow dried. Dd2(16mnths) gets 4 shallow baths a week unless she's been on the garlic bread. If she's being extra clingy and dp is working away, I bathe with her so 2 birds with 1 stone. We get visitors/relatives but I tell them straight cos I'm obviously busy Hmm. Kids come first so they can make their own tea or go home. And I make sure they're out the door 30 mins before bedtime anyway. Oh and my older 2dc attend 3 clubs each per week. Production line in my house most days but needs must really.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/01/2016 00:39

Op it must have taken a lot of guts to post on mn and even more so in Aibu

Most people learn from their parents where seems your mum didn't help teach you and possibly hers didn't teach her etc etc

Well done for asking for help and taking on board suggestions

As you have found out baths don't need to be long and deep (unless your own) and you can wallow when kids are in bed with wine Grin

I do like giving a daily baths to kids as part of their wind down routine but not the end of the world if they don't have daily / and even more so if skin problems

If anyone pops round then ask them to make their own cuppas while you bath kids at 6/630pm if they are still there or say right must kick you out as time for bed bath routine

Casseroles and slow cock meals are fab when have no time - tho have never browned stuff

I chop veg buy a bag of casserole mix for £1 the night before and then just add in the morning and put in slow cooker

Def go and see your gp and have a chat to them how you feel

RedRainRocks · 10/01/2016 00:51

Kids bathed every night, 6pm and in bed for 7pm (youngest) 7:30pm (eldest). They eat, watch tv bath and story before bed. I am out of the house at 5am and not back until six - if I'm late, their dad runs their bath. It's part of their established, daily routine. I couldn't forgive myself if my child was bullied for smelling cheesy - or of urine! and for those who may not be aware...serious eczema sufferer for 42 years - and shower daily! Best time to get moisture into the skin is when it's wet, which is why wet wrapping in extreme cases is so effective. Not bathing children regularly who have eczema is counter productive.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 10/01/2016 01:04

I shower in the morning - to me, it makes more sense to shower at the start of the day - though sometimes I will have a bath in the evening, more for relaxation than strictly for hygiene.

But I think, when you have small children, it is a lot easier to do baths at bedtime than to try to get them all through the bath or shower first thing in the morning - especially before school!

I certainly bathed the boys at bedtime, rather than in the morning - if they got grubby overnight, they got a wipe with a flannel - adding baths into the chaos of getting three of them fed, dressed and out of the door for school would not have worked - that way madness lay!!

I have to say that I don't think a bath or shower every day is vital - I don't shower every day - I wash the bits that need washing, and wash my hair, but I shower every other day. I do, however, use a really good antiperspirant, and shower more often if I need to - and having grown up as I did, I am very aware of it, if I smell at all - so I am sure that I am always clean and fragrant.

Some people need to shower or bathe every day - and I am sure there are some who only need to do so a couple of times a week - I used to know someone who never sweated - genuinely - she never did. She showered or bathed twice a week, and washed what was necessary in between times, and was always perfectly clean and socially acceptable - so I don't think you can say, catagorically, that everyone MUST bathe or shower daily - but I do think you can say catagorically that a child who wets themselves at school during the day needs a really good wash at bedtime, and more than one bath a week.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/01/2016 04:05

OP - where does your little one smell "cheesy" - does she still drink milk? Is it her feet?
It might be worth getting her checked by the GP or nurse to make sure she doesn't have any fungal infections in her skinfold areas - neck, behind the ears, between the toes, genital areas, under the armpits - because they can sometimes cause a "cheesy" smell.

DS2 used to get milk in the most unlikely places - he doesn't do it any more but was still managing it at 2 - which then of course smelt cheesy after not very long at all. I found them all, obviously, but sometimes it would take a while to track down the more obscure places where the milk had migrated to!