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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a little bit sad my line manager hasn't said goodbye?

28 replies

Gisla · 08/01/2016 14:36

I've just left my employer of 8 years so it's quite a big life change, and a "bye" would have been nice.

Surely it's just basic etiquette to say "goodbye & good luck" to a colleague when you process their resignation?

OP posts:
BillBrysonsBeard · 08/01/2016 15:53

Definitely. It's not like you're expecting a party, just a goodbye! My jobs have only been for 2 years at a time and it's nice to get closure in the form of "Seeya, been nice working with you, good luck!"

Were they upset about you leaving? Not that that's an excuse.

Hihohoho1 · 08/01/2016 15:55

Gosh surely you are having a leaving do and present after 8 years.

They sound horrible.

xmasseason · 08/01/2016 16:10

YANBU. Of course you should have had a proper goodbye.

Mia1415 · 08/01/2016 16:13

Are you me??? I've also left a company after 8 years.

My colleagues and the team I managed made a huge fuss. But my Manager didn't even bother picking up the phone to me (we were not based in the same location).

It basically reiterated the fact that I had made the right choice to go.

Gisla · 08/01/2016 16:20

No leaving gifts or anything because I am not returning after mat leave, which is absolutely fine, I don't expect my colleagues to think about me when I'm not there.

My line manager is the only person I've spoken to about leaving, but nothing from him. I thought he was a shit manager anyway tbh... Grin

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 08/01/2016 16:20

I've had leaving presents from places where I was only the temp - but when I finally left the place I worked longest there was nothing. I had been moved into a redeployee unit but even so, something would have been nice.

Out of sight, out of mind.

cjt110 · 08/01/2016 16:35

Some managers are just gits. My manager refused to sign a leaving card for someone because they had handed their notice in after 7 months because they couldnt handle the travelling the job entailed.

Hihohoho1 · 08/01/2016 16:38

You are making the right decision to leave op. How bloody rude.

Viviennemary · 08/01/2016 16:40

Maybe he had vibes you didn't like him. And why only tell him you're leaving after eight years and not anyone else. But usually people are polite.

Vanderwaals · 08/01/2016 16:44

This happened to me once.
Left after working for a company for a few years, my manager did not say one single word to me after I handed in resignation, let alone a goodbye/good luck.

Raasay · 08/01/2016 16:45

I also didn't return after mat leave. No card (but I had lovely cards/flowers etc when I went on mat leave) but I got a thank you from my manager and a lovely email from the senior manager.

I'm sorry you didn't. Out of sight is out of mind I'm afraid.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 08/01/2016 16:46

So none of your colleagues know that you're going on Mat. Leave and not going back?

LuluJakey1 · 08/01/2016 16:58

Yes, I think that is shit. I left at the end of my maternity leave just before Christmas- like you did not return. I used some of my KIT days to hand over my job. My boss was lovely and so were the staff. We should value people who work for us if we are leads/managers and make sure they know that.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 08/01/2016 17:00

because I am not returning after mat leave

aha , males bosses hate this, in fact so do some female ones

that's yer answer! good luck

29redshoes · 08/01/2016 17:17

That's very odd, sorry to hear that OP! Don't take it personally, some managers are just a bit rubbish at this sort of thing. I've had everything from cards, presents and vouchers accompanied by a rather embarrassing "leaving presentation" with other colleagues standing around watching, to no acknowledgment whatsoever, other than a p45 in an envelope!

PUGaLUGS · 08/01/2016 17:26

I left my employment of 7 years on the 7th December. My Headteacher (I was admin) didn't speak to me about my resignation the whole four weeks of my notice even though he passed my desk every day on numerous occasions.

He did do my leaving presentation and said how professional I had been etc but all the while all I could think about was him not talking to me about my resignation.

IrritableBitchSyndrome · 08/01/2016 17:31

Have had this previously. Followed by angry text message from someone I managed having a go at me for not going back because I was the only supportive person there. I initially misunderstood his tone and mistook it for a compliment. It wasn't. He clarified that for me.

Gisla · 08/01/2016 18:46

I'm already on mat leave. I only made the decision not to go back while I've been off, which is why I have only told my line manager because I haven't seen or spoke to anyone else from work. He probably hasn't even let the rest of the team know!

OP posts:
Parent100 · 18/03/2016 18:32

Well that’s just rude, spineless and naff! - If you were leaving to join a competitor then maybe, and if in your job of eight years you had access to say their customer base and other commercially sensitive information then perhaps understandably. If not the case then he/she is spineless and rude you’ve every right to feel a put out.

19lottie82 · 18/03/2016 18:39

I got made redundant 6 months ago after working somewhere for 6 years. I was the only one in our department of about 10 people to go. I didn't get a card / leaving gift, and only about 6 people actually said goodbye! I thought I got on quite well with everyone so I was pretty gutted TBH! Especially as they were usually pretty good at organising a collection whenever someone had a baby, got married or got a new job!

JolseBaby · 18/03/2016 19:13

The downside of being the person that organises the collections, cards and presentations, is that when it comes to your own you normally end up being short-changed. I found this to my cost at my last firm when I got a hastily cobbled together card and no presentation whatsoever. I had a few texts from colleagues who assumed there hadn't been a card because they'd not passed it round to sign it.

It stung a bit, but it reminded me not to invest too much in personal relationships in workplaces. You are thrown together for 40+ hours a week and I think it often fosters the illusion of a closer friendship than actually exists. In this job I am chatty and have a joke with colleagues, but I leave them at the door when I walk out of the building at night. I don't have FB or social media connections with them (excepting LinkedIn) and I don't get involved in outside of work activities with them.

decisionsdecisions123 · 18/03/2016 19:13

When I handed in my notice at a previous job the main person in charge refused to speak to me at all because I was apparently ruining everything. She of course did not say goodbye to me.

Alasalas2 · 18/03/2016 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

andadietcoke · 18/03/2016 19:20

I left after ten years and my boss didn't say goodbye and worked from home on my last day. The HR manager sorted out an amazing present though - she was embarrassed about his behaviour!

Zaurak · 18/03/2016 19:23

She's not my boss is she?
I undertook a 22 hour transatlantic journey to attend a meeting in her branch of our company. The first thing she said to me was "I thought you were blonde."
She barely spoke to me the whole week I was there.
On the last day she walked out of the room without even saying goodbye.

Everyone she manages on this side of the Atlantic wants to leave. Charming lady.