Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want my DS to be confronted with this large poster when we go to cinema?

417 replies

HubbaBubbaMum · 08/01/2016 10:25

Went to cinema this week with DH, planning to take DS and his brother tomorrow for birthday treat. I can't believe that in 2016 we will be forced to walk past this poster and that they have even called the film Dirty Granpa!
www.movieinsider.com/posters/277857/

Really??? Letching older man perving young woman's suggestively raised arse whilst other man holds 'petrol nozzle' pointing at her?? I don't want my sons seeing this sexist shit.
(only one cinema in our town btw)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Lightbulbon · 08/01/2016 20:14

Nrft

But yanbu

The poster is objectifying. It's part of porn culture.

I don't want my dcs or anyone's dcs exposed to this shit.

Things like this make me feel very sorry for this generation.

BertrandRussell · 08/01/2016 20:16

LordBrightside- do you really see no difference at all between the picture you posted and the one the thread's about? No difference in tone, implication, intent?

Quiero · 08/01/2016 20:22

I've never seen MMXXL - is it about male strippers? If so then the picture seems quite reasonable as an advert for a film about female strippers containing female strippers would be.

Wtf has that got to do with what we're talking about here?

laurierf · 08/01/2016 20:25

The study was of nature FFS! The brain supposedly lighting up in the tool areas was assessing nature. Nurture is development of the mind, this was an assessment of the brain!

Sure… there's no scientific evidence of nurture affecting the way the brain works Hmm

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 20:28

I've been thinking about saying this. I think it will fall on deaf ears. But I'll give it a go, I've got time.

On the nature vs nurture / "nature should be allowed to run it's course" debate:

I will concede, Brightside, that you are correct about nurture being personality-based, and not brain-based - that was my mistake. But (and I know you'll get upset that I'm using another extreme criminal analogy) a pedophile's brain gets stimulated by certain things. That's the brain. That's nature. But allowing that behaviour to be acted upon is detrimental to a certain group in society (children). So it isn't sustainable, for a healthy and well-functioning society, to allow images and viewpoints that support that "stimulation" to exist.

If you'll allow me (unlikely, but I'll try) the comparison, viewing women as objects, as some of the men in the study do, is a feeling as a result of a stimulus - that it's ok to objectify women and dehumanise them to fuckable objects. That's a trait of "nature" that, in my opinion, shouldn't be allowed to be celebrated.

But you'll disagree with that, because it's oppressing men. You don't seem to have the same issue with oppressing women (because you don't believe they are).

The study, if it was expanded and retested, might prove to be false. It might not. But it seems pretty plausible to me, given how men have a history of behaving, which is documented daily all over the world, regardless of culture, language, race or religion.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 20:30

Sure… there's no scientific evidence of nurture affecting the way the brain works

I only googled the definition of "nurture", but I did seem to recall there being a link. Another quick Google shows there might be. Either way, the science is interesting!

limitedperiodonly · 08/01/2016 20:32

You're all being really mean to LordBrightside.

We're talking about a film poster and he or she has provided a poster about another film.

I know it has no relevance to the debate, but I think we should try to welcome people even if they have trouble grasping the point.

In that spirit of inclusiveness, I offer this:

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/01/2016 20:35

Robert de Niro. Christ, how the mighty have fallen.

YANBU.

Fatrascals · 08/01/2016 20:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 20:45

"I've never seen MMXXL - is it about male strippers? If so then the picture seems quite reasonable as an advert for a film about female strippers containing female strippers would be."

I agree and the poster of the film in question here might be quite illustrative of the content of the film too. I guess those who see the film will find out.

LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 20:46

"really see no difference at all between the picture you posted and the one the thread's about? No difference in tone, implication, intent?"

Did I say that? Or even imply it? The posters are clearly different.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 20:46

limited, to be fair, I can see the point of mentioning Magic Mike. Never mind that it's one of the VERY FEW films that are "exploitative" towards men, when I could post literally thousands of examples of film posters showing semi-nude women, disembodied female asses or tits, etc.

Some people, male and female (as we've seen from this thread), don't understand that the scales don't balance. There are far more exploitative images of women out there then there are images of men. I personally prefer to tackle the more prevalent injustices first.

But one of the tactics to derail these discussions is to bring men's issues into it. But it's not relevant - or, to be fair, not AS relevant.

LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 20:48

"that it's ok to objectify women and dehumanise them to fuckable objects. That's a trait of "nature" that, in my opinion, shouldn't be allowed to be celebrated."

That's your bigoted extrapolation. The study does not give this conclusion.

Lobatri · 08/01/2016 20:50

Yanbu. I don't want to see thibgs like this but it's always in your face. I use it as an opportunity to remark on what's so wrong whenever such things rear their ugly heads.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 20:54

Researchers used brain scans to show that when straight men looked at pictures of women in bikinis, areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated.

Susan Fiske, a psychologist at Princeton University in New Jersey, said the changes in brain activity suggest sexy images can shift the way men perceive women, turning them from people to interact with, to objects to act upon.

Seems pretty clear to me.

I'll add "bigot" to the list of insults I've had tossed at me during this discussion.

Andrewofgg · 08/01/2016 20:55

goodnightdarth What bothers me about what you say is this.

Any image of a child, no matter how decent and harmless, may "stimulate" some - overwhelmingly male - brains in the way you mention. But you can't stop images of children being printed and being in the media. Sometimes they are in news stories. Or there are photos in biographies of the subject as a child or the subject with his/her children. I don't know if there are still clothing catalogues around - the internet may have killed them off - but if there are they will contain pictures of children modelling the goods. Hell, people sometimes post photos of their babies on MN!

Similarly any photo of a woman, especially a young and attractive woman, may provoke some apologies for men to thoughts of rape or other forms of violence. But you can't remove all such pictures from the public domain.

I have not see the poster which the OP mentioned and I don't know what side of the line I would think it fell if I saw it. I say only that wherever you draw the line it will leave some images (and some books) out there which it would be better if some wretched members of my gender did not see or read.

BertrandRussell · 08/01/2016 20:58

""really see no difference at all between the picture you posted and the one the thread's about? No difference in tone, implication, intent?"

Did I say that? Or even imply it? The posters are clearly different."

So why did you post your picture, then? I really don't understand.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 21:04

Andrew, of course we can't police everyone's thoughts and I'm not trying to. Some men will get turned on by a woman in a sexy full-length dress and heels - nothing wrong with that. Women in hijabs still get sexually harassed! (Hint: because they're women.)

It's overly exploitative images that this discussion, and this poster, deals with. It's women reduced to body parts, and men leering at them. It's erect penis substitutes and issues of consent around sexual behaviour.

To reduce the discussion to what you have - although I appreciate your calm and polite contribution - is again missing the issue. Feminism isn't all women saying "You find us sexy, STOP IT YOU BIG PERV". It's about portraying women and sex in a sensible way that actually involves us in the sex as human beings and not objects. It's really not hard to get your head around.

LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 21:04

"But you'll disagree with that, because it's oppressing men. You don't seem to have the same issue with oppressing women (because you don't believe they are)."

No, I'm entirely opposed to anyone or any group being oppressed, reflagged less of the shape of their genitals.

I do believe that sexism exists and that it affects women disproportionately. However, I'm not convinced at all that "objectification" is really a thing and I think a lot of people see sexism in their cornflakes because it suits a particular mindset, and a lot of claims of sexism are false flags, wasting everyone's time and cheapening any reaction to actual sexism.

There has been a development in large scale in the public psyche around offendedness and the Internet in particular. Part of the reason people are keen to SEEK offence is in my view linked to a desire for self-assertion. Entirely understandable and the public psyche does and will continue to develop.

Shemozzle · 08/01/2016 21:06

YANBU at all. It is this kind of sexist shite that even when kids just glance and don't take much notice, becomes normality for them.

limitedperiodonly · 08/01/2016 21:12

one of the tactics to derail these discussions is to bring men's issues into it. But it's not relevant - or, to be fair, not AS relevant.

Thank you for explaining that to me. I'll try to bear it in mind.

LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 21:13

Give me Susan Fiske's quote.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 21:15

Sorry, limited, hope that didn't seem patronising! It was more a passive-aggressive aside to the posters on the thread trying to bring men's issues into it.

However, I'm not convinced at all that "objectification" is really a thing and I think a lot of people see sexism in their cornflakes because it suits a particular mindset, and a lot of claims of sexism are false flags, wasting everyone's time and cheapening any reaction to actual sexism.

I don't think a man is really best placed to tell women what they should or shouldn't be offended by. And people get outraged about silly things all the time - there's a lot of silly cries of "That's racist!", when I feel it's actually not. That doesn't mean that racism doesn't exist. I wouldn't dream of telling a black person not to be offended by something - if they find it offensive, it's not my place (as a white person) to say it's not.

This poster is not comparable to, say, a woman getting annoyed because a man held a door open for her and she felt it was chauvinistic. This is a clear example of the objectification and dehumanisation of a woman, for reasons I've stated upthread.

BrideOfWankenstein · 08/01/2016 21:15

I hate Zac Efron. *misses the point of the thread.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 21:16

Give me Susan Fiske's quote.

Huh? Who is that even to?