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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask my neighbours if I can use their shower?

122 replies

ClaraSilver · 05/01/2016 19:08

Having our bathroom done soon (at last - woop). Ours will be out of action for at least a week, so is it ok to ask my neighbours to use theirs or is that just weird? Neighbours are good friends, known each other for a while, we help each other out in lots of ways but not sure if they will feel comfortable with me getting naked in their horse.

I think I'd be ok if it was the other way round and they needed to use ours but worried it's a bit cheeky. Just don't fancy having to go all the way to MILs.

OP posts:
ChristmasHousewife · 05/01/2016 19:34

Horse! Grin

I'd let you in too!

StarkyTheDirewolf · 05/01/2016 19:34

I wouldn't think it was weird. Especially if you're friendly anyway. I'd offer if it was my neighbours. But then, I'd LOVE a go in their shower, I saw it when they'd just had it installed, it's AMAZING! One of those jazzy ones with lights and steam and different water pressures etc!

5BlueHydrangea · 05/01/2016 19:35

Sure, no worries. What is the big deal??

Sparklingbrook · 05/01/2016 19:37

It would be fine with me, I might even let you have one of the best towels. Wink

VulcanWoman · 05/01/2016 19:40

Nah, too cheeky. Surely the plumber by the end of the first day should have your bog and bath fitted. If not, wash down over kitchen sink.

LadyLuck81 · 05/01/2016 19:41

I'd let you use mine and wouldn't find it odd. Especially if you're already friendly.

Bluecheese22 · 05/01/2016 19:42

I would ask and I know they'd let us, and vice versa

cozietoesie · 05/01/2016 19:44

It wouldn't bother me in the least as long as the timing was broadly OK - eg coming in for a shower at 05.30 in the morning or 11.30 at night might get me on edge.

Pipestheghost · 05/01/2016 19:45

I'd let you, seeing as you're on friendly terms it shouldn't be a problem.

BMW6 · 05/01/2016 19:45

Our bathroom was completely refurbished a couple of years ago and we had no bath or shower for well over a week.
We strip washed at kitchen sink and washed hair over sink with cheap hose attachment.

Totally do-able.

MuttonDressedAsMutton · 05/01/2016 19:46

Can't see the big deal here - I'd definitely let you. It's not like you want to take a dump on the patio is it! Grin

Penfold007 · 05/01/2016 19:46

I had a word with my horse and the answer is a resounding NO!!! you may not get naked with them. As for using our shower, if we were neighbours and friends you would be very welcome just ignore any mess :)

BastardGoDarkly · 05/01/2016 19:48

I'd let you! Just ask them :)

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 05/01/2016 19:48

Now, normally I'm an antisocial so and so, but I actually would be fine with my neighbour using our bathroom a couple of times.

I wouldn't take the piss & ask to shower every day, but maybe two or three days over the week - with decent washes in between. That should be sufficient shouldn't it? If you really must shower every single day (if you run maybe?) then be prepared to use the leisure centre a few times over the week too. You'll probably have to pay for a swim first though Grin.

And stay away from the neighbour's horse!

GreenishMe · 05/01/2016 19:49

What's wrong with going to your MIL's....she obviously lives not too far away or you wouldn't even have mentioned her as an option?

The problem with asking your neighbour is that you don't actually know her well enough to know she'll be ok about it. You might be putting her on the spot.

...nothing worse than being put on the spot

Skzr1214 · 05/01/2016 19:50

That depends. If they have an extra loo for example. You could just casually mention and see what they say. Tbh I won't find it hard for a day or two or but a week is too much for me and I won't be able to do it myself to others either. Can you try to hire a portable loo?

maskapony · 05/01/2016 19:52

It depends what you mean by 'good friends'. We were without hot water for a week over the summer and I asked friends who live round the corner if DH and I could use their shower one evening; they were fine with it. They even made us dinner and we made a night of it! But we've known them for about six years, went to each other's weddings, regularly hang out as couples etc.

nortonhouse · 05/01/2016 19:53

I'm with BifsWif. Let them know (in some subtle way) about your shower renovation and see if they offer.

londonrach · 05/01/2016 19:53

Abit surprised at those mntters who think it's weird. Take it you dont know your neighbours. Op says shes friendly with her neighbours. I know my parents have had neighbours over to use the shower when bathrooms are done and cooked meals when kitchens are being done. It just being a neighbour!

It works both ways. One of my parents neighbours (elderly retired couple id know for 20 years) checked on me early in the morning after the first night i spent alone in my parents house (lived in said house for 20 years) which shamed to say was in my early 20s. I hadnt slept well as it was first time id been alone in a house. I was ordered to come to theres for dinner and to sleep in their spare room the next day. I gratefully accepted. Took them around a box of chocs as a thank you when my parents returned.

Cattington · 05/01/2016 19:55

I'd not have any problem with that in a similar situation.

whois · 05/01/2016 19:58

Yeah if you're friends it's fine to ask. Phrase it such that they can say no though!

Otherwise can you shower st work or the gym or pay to go for a swim and use those showers?

Purplehonesty · 05/01/2016 20:00

I'd go with mentioning you have no bath/shower and let them offer.
If they don't you know they'd rather not let you. I bet they would tho.

When I had ds I was round at my friends and mentioned I hadn't had chance to wash my hair that day as I didn't want to leave him alone Hmmpfb
She bundled me into her bathroom with towels and shampoo while she cuddled him. Friends don't mind that sort of thing!

Original poster
ClaraSilver · 05/01/2016 20:06

They have an extra loo as do we so that's not a problem. It would only be a shower once or twice (although they do have a whirlpool bath Grin )

MIL's is an hour there and back so including shower, cup of tea, chat, watching of various youtube videos that she collects, it would be a good couple of hours. I know neighbour very well but bedrooms and bathrooms are quite private spaces aren't they?

Most definitely don't want to take a dump on the patio but I did have a cheeky poo in her downstairs loo once (and I only like to poo in places I'm comfortable) so I think we're good enough friends. I'll ask but make sure she knows she doesn't have to say yes.

OP posts:
SoWhite · 05/01/2016 20:08

I think a one off would be ok, but not for a whole week.

You're going to have to drive to an actual love-you-no-matter-what pal's.

Fairylea · 05/01/2016 20:10

Everyday? That would be too much for me. I would feel very invaded... Sorry! As a one off no problem, but everyday would feel way too much.

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