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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gumtree- I want to meet in a public place

28 replies

Littleallovertheshop · 04/01/2016 21:43

I'm selling an item, but don't want to give out my home address and don't want a stranger in my house. The buyer thinks I'm being unreasonable because I've said I'll meet them nearby but not at my house. AIBU?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 04/01/2016 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Industrialhelicopter · 04/01/2016 21:52

They think that you have nicked it.That is what criminals do- meet you in public places as it is knock off.

Vinorosso74 · 04/01/2016 21:52

No. I've sold quite a few things on Gumtree and mostly have met people in a public place. Nobody has thought it odd in fact once they have often suggested a meeting place if they know the area.
I would stand your ground and just say it's easier for you to meet them.

BadgersNadgers · 04/01/2016 21:53

If it's a sofa then YABU. If it's an egg cup then fair play to you.

Original poster
Littleallovertheshop · 04/01/2016 21:58

Haha, neither a sofa nor an egg cup. It's easily transportable but biggish and where I proposed is just across from where I live. We have left it because neither will budge!

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 04/01/2016 22:14

I sell things quite often on Gumtree and I think as a seller you need to accept potential buyers coming to your house...... Sorry! If you feel vulnerable, can you ask a friend to sit in with you when the buyer visits?

bimbobaggins · 04/01/2016 22:46

I was trying to buy something off gumtree tonight and wanted to meet in a different place to the sellers home. Usually when i am selling i want to meet away from home.

Griphook · 04/01/2016 22:50

I buy and sell quite a lot on eBay (pick up only) if some one wanted to meet away from there home I would feel very uncomfortable and would be worried I was being set up.
With buyers I often leave thing in my car, so there never any question of anyone wanting to come in

whois · 04/01/2016 22:55

I would think it was nicked probably! There is nothing inherently dodge about someone knowing where you live... Can you have a friend come round if you don't want to be one your own?

Original poster
Littleallovertheshop · 04/01/2016 23:08

We've left it. It isn't stolen, honest. I live alone and just don't like the idea of someone coming in. I could get someone round, but even so, I don't want someone I dont know who I have essentially met on the Internet in my home. I know it might sound slightly mad, there does seem to be an interesting mix of YABU and YANBU responses so I guess it's each to their own.

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleallovertheshop · 04/01/2016 23:09

The buyer has been really understanding now they know I'm not just being awkward!

OP posts:
ottothedog · 04/01/2016 23:12

It maybe depends what you are selling ie chances it is nicked/broken - in this category i would put especially
Mobile phone
Bike
Electronics/xbox
I have sometimes met at eg a carpark but only if it was half way between us or near work - so for convenience of buyer really

Btw watch out for fake notes - v common scam atm apparently

WorraLiberty · 04/01/2016 23:15

I must admit I'd be worried that if the item was stolen or it broke within a day, there would be no comebacks.

Also, I'm pretty sure the Police would be unimpressed if I said, "Err I bought it off some woman in a pub/cafe/whatever" Grin

LeaLeander · 04/01/2016 23:22

I arrange meetings like this in the parking areas of police stations. There's usually one handy to both parties and who could object?

BackforGood · 04/01/2016 23:23

I agree, if I were buying something, I'd assume it was dodgy if they wanted to meet me somewhere - I'd assume it was so they couldn't trace me when there was a problem. Like your buyer, I'd not go through with it.

Also, I was watching '24hrs in A&E' last week and a lad came in for treatment, having been mugged by a gang after he arranged to meet the buyer (this chap was selling stuff) "by her work".

Griphook · 04/01/2016 23:24

I always say, me or my husband will be in, rather than just me. I close my living room door, have change in my pocket and don't ever let them in.

Even if its raining, I've show someone how to fold and all the different ways you can have a double buggy on the pavement.
I Know it not nice but as long as you protect yourself it will be fine.

lucymootoo · 04/01/2016 23:28

No YANBU. A lot of times I've noticed people on my local buy and sell sites agreeing to meet in "the middle" which is usually one of large shopping centers in my City.

WorraLiberty · 04/01/2016 23:29

I arrange meetings like this in the parking areas of police stations. There's usually one handy to both parties and who could object?

Me...

A) The item could be stolen and the police are going to think I'm taking the piss when I tell them I bought it off some woman in a police station car park Grin

B) If it breaks the next day, I don't know where you live so I have not a leg to stand on.

TiredButFineODFOJ · 04/01/2016 23:30

I bought from gumtree recently, I went to the guy's house but was quite prepared to refuse crossing the threshold and txted my movements to a friend.
This lad about 22 tried to invite me into the family home...I still didn't go in! Then he offered me a lift to the station which I declined.
Poor kid he was totally bewildered that his politeness was being ignored.

MidniteScribbler · 04/01/2016 23:35

I usually have the item waiting either just inside the door or on the front porch so they never need set foot inside the house.

hibbleddible · 04/01/2016 23:36

Yabu

I agree with others that I would assume the goods were stolen/counterfeit/faulty and the seller did not want to be traced.

I make sure I have someone else at home and have never had any issues.

If you are too nervous to meet buyers at your house then perhaps sell on eBay only

JeanneDeMontbaston · 04/01/2016 23:45

I have a suspicion that people who're capable of selling stolen goods might just be capable of lying about where they live too ... shocking as the idea sounds.

I've had people come to my home, but if you don't feel comfortable, don't do it! Someone else will buy whatever it is you're selling, unless it's very niche, surely?

Iggi999 · 04/01/2016 23:49

Oh lord, I bring them in and have a chat and have done the same in reverse when buying. I'm such a paranoid soul normally too.

cakedup · 04/01/2016 23:49

I have sold items on Gumtree/ebay and have always let people come to my door because I don't think it's any more of a risk than any passer by seeing me walk into my home. Not only is it convenient but I like to give the reassurance to the buyer that all is above board. I think you are BU but obviously don't do it if you really don't feel comfortable. I would not feel comfortable meeting the seller in a car park, I would feel very vulnerable doing that!

travellinglighter · 05/01/2016 00:05

To be fair, if I bought something on a website and couldn’t collect if from the home address I would suspect that it was nicked. Got something on eBay and the chap was barely literate, kept changing his mind about giving me his address, wanted to meet in a car park. I said no.

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