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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone else has a partner who does most of the cooking?

167 replies

iPaid · 03/01/2016 08:54

I've been catching up on post Xmas MN threads. I've not seen one yet where the DP/DH cooked the Xmas meal.

Likewise catering for guests and everyday cooking being the role of the woman appears to be the norm on MN.

Anyone else have a capable and enthusiast cook as a partner?

OP posts:
whois · 03/01/2016 11:38

My BIL does most of the cooking and he did Christmas lunch. He's a great cook! My sister can cook but doesn't really enjoy it particularly.

I do most of the cooking at home because I enjoy it. If I can't be bothered we eat out or get a take away or DP might cook. No drama about having to provide anyone with a meal.

PaulDirac · 03/01/2016 11:43

Dp and I completely shared Christmas dinner cooking. We take turns in the week, though since DD was born dp has being doing more than me as I'm home with her all day and he likes me to have a break when he gets in from work as she is very full on.

I do the vast majority of cooking for DD, and when I do home cooking it tends to be more 'involved' whereas dp's cooking is more basic, heat it up type stuff. I'm happy with the way we do it.

smileygrapefruit · 03/01/2016 12:33

I'm very lucky, DH is a chef and does pretty much all the cooking, he also does all the washing up...the kitchen is his 'job', the rest of the house is up to me...works for us!

Maddaddam · 03/01/2016 12:56

My DP does half the cooking. I'm a (much) better cook but am too feminist to cope with a partner who isn't doing half the cooking/housework/childcare. We share it all.
One of my BILs does 95% of the cooking in their house (dsis can cook fine but he likes to do it all).
Another BIL does half or more.
So my dds view it all as normal and are surprised to visit households where men don't cook or clean.

For Christmas we usually have dinner with Dsis and the BIL who likes cooking,and all 4 adults (me, DP, Dsis, DBIL) cook.

Mistigri · 03/01/2016 12:59

We split the cooking about 50:50, but DH always cooks roast dinners because I am not massively keen on cooking with meat. So he was on cooking duty at Christmas and New Year.

I've never cooked a Christmas dinner!

RumbleMum · 03/01/2016 13:01

DH is an AMAZING cook and cooks almost all the time for him and me (and did all the Christmas cooking). I cook for the kids (as DH is home too late to eat with them and likes not-very-child-friendly stuff like Sczechuan).

Sighing · 03/01/2016 13:03

My husband works. Loves cooking and is better than me at it. When he's not away at work we cook 50/50 (usually) but right now (I'm diagnosed gestational diabetes) i'm doing more of the cooking as I'm so much more OK with cooking simple, non recipe food. Especially where I'll vary a part of the dish (make a casserole, remove my bit & dd1's bit, cook the remainder with sweeter/ spicier etc, then tweak mine and DD's separately etc).

Sighing · 03/01/2016 13:03

Oh. When we're at home he's in charge of christmas dinner, I'm generally prepping.

MsMermaid · 03/01/2016 13:03

Dh does most of the cooking in our house. He's good at it, I'm not. He worked in a kitchen when he was younger, so learnt a lot about cooking, plus his mum is an amazing cook who taught him a lot as he grew up.

My contribution to feeding the family is usually a once a week freezer food meal, or I pay for a takeaway.

Mil makes plenty of comments about me not feeding her son properly, but I treat her comments as jokes and laugh at her.

BackforGood · 03/01/2016 13:07

My dh cooks Christmas dinner, and any 'big' meals during the year - on the odd occasion we have guests.
During the mundane 'week in, week out' scenario, we all take turns - dh, me, and the 3 dc, so, although not strictly on rotation, it evens out over time.

MaureenMLove · 03/01/2016 13:22

DH does pretty much all the cooking here. I am perfectly capable and reasonably good at it, but he likes dong it.

I am in from work at 3pm and him at 6.30, so I sit on my arse til he gets in and cooks my dinner! What sort of a wife would I be, if I stopped my DH doing something he likes! Grin

NickMarlow · 03/01/2016 13:31

Dh does almost all the cooking, he enjoys it and is much better at it than me! So he does most of the food shopping, and I do dishes and laundry.

He did all the food over Christmas, I organised all the presents.

DragAct · 03/01/2016 13:36

DH is an excellent cook and does the vast majority of the household food shopping and cooking - the only thing I did for Christmas dinner this year was peeling potatoes and making mayonnaise.

I bake bread and cakes and handle packed lunches for our three-year-old.

JapanNextYear · 03/01/2016 14:13

I do more of the cooking and the 'thinking' about food, so the planning yo use up stuff and what we'll gave for tea. But he does a good bbq, roast, freezer tea and breakfast. He's not an imaginative cook ... But tidier the me when he cooks but I do enjoy cooking more. He tends to do the chore cooking when I can't be arsed or his kids are round.

But he does the cleaning, washing and weekend supermarket run.

MalteserHound · 03/01/2016 14:17

DH is a great cook and does the vast bulk of the meal planning/ food shopping/ cooking in our household. I do Christmas dinner because i enjoy it and it has become a family tradition, although all the adults present will muck in on the day (we're often catering for 6/7 adults and 3 children at Christmas). I'm also the 'eggs specialist' and will usually make breakfast if we're both in.
I do all the laundry, the cleaning is split approximately 60/40 towards him and the childcare 70/30 towards me (I WOH 26 hours a week to his 40).
We split the Christmas prep between us and enjoyed present shopping together, which is also a family tradition (and includes a boozy, child-free lunch out). I'm also sorry to hear the many posts on other threads of women for whom Christmas is just a massive chore.

tilliebob · 03/01/2016 14:42

My DH does most of the cooking. I seem to be missing that "cooking equals love" gene that some poster quoted earlier this week what the actual fuck DH was in the forces for years and detested the food on offer, so when he was home he'd cook himself steaks and things. I can't eat meat so it's a foreign world to me - and I suppose it grew from there. I can cook if I have to feed these ruddy kids but I can think of a zillion things I'd rather do with the time.

Outaboutnowt · 03/01/2016 14:48

DP is a chef so when he's home he cooks.

I can do basic meals from scratch but I'm not very good at cooking and to be honest I don't enjoy it.

DP boshed out Christmas dinner in about an hour! He's very efficient! We both work and I do most of the cleaning so it feels quite fair.

rageagainsttheBIL · 03/01/2016 14:53

Surely most of the threads especially on AIBU are about the DW cooking Christmas dinnwr becuase theyre pissed off at being left to do everything etc?

We probably do about 60/40 split but only because I get home first so try to get cooking once DC in bed to avoid eating at 9pm. I do quick and fairly simple meals mostly whereas DH more likely to do something a bit more complex and time consuming. This year my dad did xmas dinner, I did some extras but DH and I would probably have cooked together had we hosted.

DickDewy · 03/01/2016 14:58

My dh does all of the cooking.

I vaguely recall that we used to share the cooking when first married, but over time it has become entirely his domain. Unless a pudding is required (when we have guests), that is my department.

When he travels for work, he'll cook things in advance that we can just heat up or otherwise the children will get my pasta with pesto from a jar special.

He's a brilliant cook, he should've been a chef. He also does all of the dishwasher duties. He's a very saintly specimen!

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2016 14:58

I must admit it makes me laugh that when we have guests to dinner, whether they're adults or the kid's friends, they always thank me and say "That was lovely Worra" Grin

I end up having to say, "You're welcome but DH cooked it".

buymeabook · 03/01/2016 15:07

I do all the cooking despite working full time and my DW at work 2 days. I do enjoy it more but yeh it can be a pain when I've had a long day at work. And it does tend to limit the food we have during the week to stuff that doesn't take more than an hour.

But then she does far far more washing and cleaning than I do.

SenecaFalls · 03/01/2016 15:15

DH does about 95% of the cooking in our house. I don't really like to cook and he does. We went out for Christmas dinner, but when we have it at home, I help, but he does most of it. Same for Thanksgiving, which is a much bigger meal in our house than Christmas.

When we were both working, I did all the clean up, but he is retired now and I am still working so he does all of it.

SenecaFalls · 03/01/2016 15:17

Oh, and like DickDewey, my domain is desserts. That's my 5%.

CaptainHammer · 03/01/2016 15:21

DH does all the cooking here!

Gliblet · 03/01/2016 15:27

DH does most of our cooking at the moment (SAHP) but I cooked Christmas dinner, partly because I wanted to, partly because I don't find cooking large meals as stressful as he does. We shared all the prep and clear up though (I made gravy, he crowned the goose to fit in the oven, he washed, I dried etc.) so neither of us felt too downtrodden by the end of the day. I do most of the baking but he does regularly bake flapjack and scones for DS's after-school snack. I'm probably still a more confident cook but he's getting more comfortable with varying from recipes and substituting ingredients with practice.