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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a grown up shouldn't call their mother 'mummy'

193 replies

shebird · 01/01/2016 01:50

Is it just a bit weird hearing a 40 year grown old woman call her mum 'Mummy' all the time. It just grates on me.
AIBU?

OP posts:
ScoutandAtticus · 02/01/2016 01:02

Yanbu. I think it's one of those things people who are trying to pretend to be posher that they actually are so. Just, affected really. When in fact it makes them sound odd.

MooseTrap · 02/01/2016 01:31

Mummy = Not acceptable

Mammy = Acceptable

Doesn't really matter though Smile

I call my parents Ma and Pa Blush

PagesOfABook · 02/01/2016 01:33

I'm irish and I don't know anyone - other than small children - who call there parents mammy /mummy or daddy. I'd find it a bit odd if I heard anyone use those terms - but obviously up to them what they say.

Everyone I know calks their parents mam /mum & dad

AlpacaLypse · 02/01/2016 01:39

When I'm speaking one to one with my mother I call her Mummy. As far as I'm aware she's never expected anything else. I know she called my grandmother, her mother, 'Mummy' too.

When other people are around, we'll use other words too - Ma, Mater, Mother, depending on how sarcastic anyone's being... The ILs will of course call her by her first name.

My teenage daughters call me Mummy one to one as well, but use Mum or Mother if their friends are present.

Yes, we are upper middle class.

mathanxiety · 02/01/2016 04:52

I know lots of Irish people who use Mummy/Mammy/Daddy, mainly relatives on both sides. My DCs are American and the DDs call me Mommy though this is unheard of in the US for young people their ages as far as I can tell. I don't know how it developed. DS uses a variety of terms, mostly Ma.

Look up Darina Allen's cookbooks, for recipes like 'Mummy's Delicious Scones', etc.

I think the people who seem weird and repressed are those doing the sniggering, personally.

nooka · 02/01/2016 05:23

My cousins (in their 40s now) call their mother Mummy. What I am struck by mostly when I see them together is how much they love and care for her.

FanFuckingTastic · 02/01/2016 05:31

Mum in general use.

Mummy when I either want all the things, or am feeling especially grateful for her existence.

MackerelOfFact · 02/01/2016 06:35

Those who are offended by 'mummy' (or daddy), does it still bother you with same-sex parents? Is it OK to be mum and mummy? Or must they use mum and mother?

nooka · 02/01/2016 07:15

We have lesbian friends and their son calls them Mummy and Mama Bear. He is 4 so I expect that will change as he gets older. Right now I think it's lovely :) Not sure why I'd start to think it cringe worthy in a few years, but I expec they will become Mum and Mama in time.

HicDraconis · 02/01/2016 07:28

YABU. Why does it bother you what someone calls their parent?

I still refer to my mother as "my mummy" and I'm 43 - she died when I was 29 but you bet if she was still alive I'd be calling her mummmy. That's what she was and is.

I still call my father "Daddy" when I'm talking to him. It's what I've always called him and I don't see that reaching an arbitrary age cutoff should change what I've always known him as.

My children call us mummy and daddy (8&9) and I expect them to continue to do so. It's what we are.

It's not said in a whining 3 year old voice (any more than anyone else says "muuuuuuuuuum" in a nagging 5 year old voice) - it's said in a normal adult conversational tone of voice.

Luckily I don't give a rats arse how anyone judges me, so enjoy :)

echt · 02/01/2016 08:55

OP still hasn't declared her preferred usage.

Quite happy to sneer at others about what is the personal of names, though Hmm

echt · 02/01/2016 08:55

Duh, the most erosional of names.

echt · 02/01/2016 08:57

Fuck me. Personal.

Damn you autocorrect/early evening livener fingers. :o

Aeroflotgirl · 02/01/2016 09:18

Yabvvvu, what she calls her mum, is none of your business. Dad is still known as dadda to me, he died when I was 10!

hollyisalovelyname · 02/01/2016 09:37

Do people in the UK say / use Mammy?

Original poster
shebird · 02/01/2016 09:46

Perhaps it is the person that I'm referring to that grates me and the 'Mummy' thing is the tipping point. I have spent a lot of time over Christmas with this grown up who seems to revert to being a demanding spoilt around her mother and the Mumeeee thing just gets to me. Think Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate FactoryGrin

OP posts:
derxa · 02/01/2016 09:46

My DH calls me 'Mother' As in 'Would you like a cup of tea, Mother?'
DS1 calls me 'Wee Moomery' and DH ' Darth Vader'
DS2 calls us Mum and Dad. Is that helpful? Grin

JessieMcJessie · 02/01/2016 09:49

My lesbian friends are called Mum and Mummy by their son. It works fine now (he's three) but I have found myself wondering what will happen when he gets to the age where many children naturally grow out of saying "Mummy" and graduate to "Mum". It's a tricky one though, I am at a loss as to what other combination they could have used, and I do like that they have not used names which automatically tell third parties which one of them carried him.

Generally adults saying "Mummy" sounds a little bit posh or childish to me but each to their own. When our child is born later this year I have told DH that if I ever call him Daddy when addressing him directly (or he calls me Mummy) there will be a divorce.

JessieMcJessie · 02/01/2016 09:55

In Scotland it's quite common (in both senses of the word!) to say "Maw". (pronounced to rhyme with "saw".). And Dad is "Paw". If you are familiar with the Broons you'll know what I mean.

Interestingly, it sounds exactly the same as the Danish and Norwegian words for "mum"- "mor".

dementedma · 02/01/2016 10:02

My teens call me Maw Bags when they are winding me up.

Oddoneout63 · 02/01/2016 10:11

My Mum called her mother 'Mummy', but always called my Dad's mother 'Mum' so they knew which mother they were referring to?

Now both DH & I call my mother 'Mum' and we called DHs mother 'Mam' as she was Welsh.

However, that was only when the kids were in earshot, otherwise in general conversation, DH called my mother by her name & likewise I called his mother by her name!

Oddoneout63 · 02/01/2016 10:20

Actually, when my now DH first met my parents, he asked my Dad how he should address him (very polite!) & he said 'you can call me ' but when he asked my Mum she said 'you can call me Mrs '!

When DH objected and said he wasn't comfortable with that & wouldn't use it, (he'd been expecting either Mum or her first name) they then had an amiable chat about how he could attract her attention & she said 'just say hey you!', so until we got married he called her 'Hey-You'!!

Thank God they actually liked each other & he stills gets away with it every now & again!

Lara2 · 02/01/2016 10:56

Hmm I think the clue in your title OP is 'a grown up' - as a grown up people have the right to call their parent whatever they want! What on earth has it got to do with anyone else?

ImportantSpanielBusiness · 02/01/2016 12:11

In my country it's the 'posh' people who say mum, everyone else says mummy. I find the english accents who drag out 'mum' to have four syllables grating but it doesn't affect me.

helenahandbag · 02/01/2016 12:35

I personally can't stand hearing adults calling their parents 'mummy' and 'daddy' (Irish 'mammy' is different) but I suppose it's each to their own.