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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think a grown up shouldn't call their mother 'mummy'

193 replies

shebird · 01/01/2016 01:50

Is it just a bit weird hearing a 40 year grown old woman call her mum 'Mummy' all the time. It just grates on me.
AIBU?

OP posts:

KinkyAfro · 01/01/2016 09:16

Not just me then, Lem. I hide behind cushions and say to the dog "where's mummy?", drives her potty when I come out from behind it. I probably shouldn't admit to that should I?

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 01/01/2016 09:18

I think a grown up shouldn't give a stuff what anyone else calls their own parent. I find it a bit weird. It just grates on me...

I think anyone who judges me for what I call my parents is an ass.

This. Although I use mum and dad as it happens.

MackerelOfFact · 01/01/2016 09:18

I still call mine Mummy. Sorry. I'm not posh, I just could never get 'Mum' to stick. When you've called someone something your whole life, it's difficult to just start calling them something else when they don't really care either way.

I still call my brother by his full first name too when everyone outside the family uses an abbreviation. To me, it's always been his name!

MackerelOfFact · 01/01/2016 09:23

If I'm talking about her though I refer to her as 'my mum', not 'my mummy.'

Just as she would refer to me as 'my eldest daughter' but not address me as 'eldest daughter' (usually).

Champagneformyrealfriends · 01/01/2016 09:26

I call my dad "daddy" sometimes but my mum is "mum".

drspouse · 01/01/2016 09:28

I'm in my 40s, bit posh, and it's Mummy when it wouldn't be confusing (e.g. when not with my cousin whose voice is very similar, and my aunt), her name if it would be/in shops, and to refer to her with cousins etc, and "my mum" in all other situations when referring to her.

dementedma · 01/01/2016 09:31

My friend is very posh and his teenage sons call him daddy which I think sounds ridiculous but if it works for them.....

BrienneofQarth · 01/01/2016 09:36

I use mum & dad but my mum always refers to her late parents as mummy & daddy - she's from n Ireland & it's totally normal there.

I mentioned this years ago with an acquaintance who had delusions of grandeur & suddenly she was referring to 'mummy' left, right & centre. It was an overnight change, she'd assumed my mum used it to be posh and wanted to join in. Bloody weird and sounded odd because she'd referred to 'mum' up to that point!

Badders123 · 01/01/2016 09:45

Loathe it.
It's infantile.

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2016 09:49

Wow people really do judge about business that has got sweet fuck all to do with them don't they?

People really will judge, yes.

So anyone who does use the terms Mummy and Daddy when an adult should reasonably expect that other people will be silently judging them. Its OK not to care about being judged. But yes, you will be being judged.

My SiL's sister does this for a Dad in a babyish Disney style "Daddy". It's cringeworthy and oddly babyish in an adult. As an adult she also often sits on her Daddy's knee in social situations. Really odd. I think she has ideas that it gives the impression they are a 'posh' family. They aren't especially though. Interesting that her sister doesn't do this.

I also have a facebook friend who often talks of "going to Mummy's house" and whatnot. The tone and language of her use seems to be Mummy still like me to be a little girl and I like the chance to be treated like a little girl.

Yes, there are likely to be a number of people who silently judge on this matter.

BrendaandEddie · 01/01/2016 09:52

Op I agree. And lol at "it has nothing to do with you" we can still talk about it!

idiuntno57 · 01/01/2016 09:55

My MIL refers to me as 'mummy' ( sound like mummah) Drives me insane.

Cornelialovett · 01/01/2016 09:55

Yanbu. But it's worse for a grown man. I had a boyfriend in my 20's and I remember sitting round their dinner table. BF said 'mummy please could you pass me the salt'. I was 😮 and at that moment knew the relationship was doomed.

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/01/2016 09:55

We called her Mum, but between ourselves we would make reference to the Mothership (I.e. 'I've got to get back for a rendezvous with the Mothership).

We're not posh at all

ProudAS · 01/01/2016 09:55

My aunt still addressed letters to gran as "Dear Mummy" in her 50s - don't think she said it to her face though.

Does seem a bit odd but each to their own.

LyndaNotLinda · 01/01/2016 10:02

At what point is it acceptable to still call your mother mummy? Are you supposed to tell your children to stop when they turn 12 as 'it's infantile'?

mummytime · 01/01/2016 10:03

Yabu it's nothing to do with you.
I know both Posh and Irish people who do this, that's just their way. My DC call m a range of things (including Mother which I hate). I called my Mum "mum" from my teens, but each to their own.

BrendaandEddie · 01/01/2016 10:07

most of mumsnet has nothing to do with people!!

Dont shut down discussion in such an unimaginative way

FantasticButtocks · 01/01/2016 10:10

I once dared to call my mother 'mum' when I was about nine. I was sharply told off for 'showing off in front of your friends' She thought mum was 'common' and insisted on being called mummy. My brothers (in their forties) still call her mummy- she just wouldn't tolerate anything else! I don't see her, but if I did I would have to call her mummy. I am 51.

When my DDs were little and went from mummy to mum of their own accord, I was delighted because, to me, it was friendly, relaxed and casual. They now call me mum, the youngest sometimes uses mumma, which is so affectionate and sweet.

I think people should do what is most comfortable for them. I've never forgotten the humiliation of being told off in front of my friend for using mum

ruthsmumkath · 01/01/2016 10:12

I know people older than me (late 40's) who call their mum - mummy.

They are posh though and I am not.

I therefore assumed it was something posh people did!

I once saw a child aged about 7 being told off by his mum for referring to her as mum in John Lewis. She seemed very cross saying " never call me mum - my name is mummy".

I was quietly thinking I'd have some much more unfavourable terms ready for that one

user7755 · 01/01/2016 10:14

Haven't RTFT but Momma Bear - WTF!?

At any age, anyone referring to themselves or someone else as Momma Bear... I have no words .

Moln · 01/01/2016 10:15

I don't like it for reasons that Ginny365 and ShatnersBassoon. My own mum uses mummy about her mother and I had to ask permission not to call her mummy (permission granted at 12). My mum is very, very needy and has a lot of behaviours that suggest she's emulating being a little girl.

She also refers to my dad as daddy when talking about him to me (I don't call him that)

My own children still call me mammy though and don't seem to changing however. I'm hoping they'll changed but I'm not going to make them just as I'm not going prevent them from stopping.

user7755 · 01/01/2016 10:16

Oh, just remembered. My son calls me Mam, its a local thing (I'm not from round here), drives me fucking batshit - I am not a character from a Catherine Cookson novel. He does it to wind me up now.

hollyisalovelyname · 01/01/2016 10:19

An Irish person calling their mother Mummy is posh ( or aspirational)

FatherRebulahConundrum · 01/01/2016 10:20

We don't have any of these problems, mine calls me CanIBorrowAFiver. Or sometimes HaveYouMoneyForTheBus

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