To be annoyed at parents who do not teach their kids how to act properly at the theatre?

[DSClarke]

OK, so this might be the most middle class thread ever but...

We were at theatre today for a family production. Kid of about 7 behind me starts kicking my chair before the play starts. I wait for about 2 minutes, then turn round to him, smile very sweetly, and say "I'm sorry, but would you mind not kicking my chair, thank you?" Parents are two kids away on either side do nothing.

He then does it sporadically through the play. I ask him twice not to do it, and then for his older brother to get his feet off the back of my DS's chair. Coulple that with the fact that they spend the first 30 minutes eating sweets from the crinklest bag ever.

Am I an old fuddy duddy? Is this OK behaviour now? Do these parents think that it is OK for their kids to piss off everyone around them (the man next to me was getting seriously pissed off as well).

However, my DH just thinks it was kids being kids.

I am seriously considering splashing out for a box next time

Yanbu.

I am taking dd to see Les mis this year at the Queens in London.

The tickets are not the main expense. The train and hotel cost a bit too.

I would be furious if someone ruined it for her, by kicking her chair. I am not taking DS as he is four and wouldn't sit through the whole thing. It's not fair on him or others.

I was meant to be see Star Wars with dbro until he said he was bring his very lovely but very active two year old. No way would nephew sit through Star Wars.

Dbro went with a friend and ended up coming out half way through. In boxing dat he just laughed at himself and said 'I don't know what I was thinking'.

But he didn't let his son annoy everyone else. He missed out after realising it was probably the wrong decision.

YANBU.

D1's first theatre trip (aged 3) was to a panto. We explained about sitting still and not annoying people around him, not talking or shouting but to ask questions in a whisper. We told him about audience participation and it was ok to shout then. We thought we'd covered all the bases.

We had seats with a good view and we sat in eager anticipation. Then the lights went down. DS1 began to cry because he thought something had gone wrong and it wasn't going to happen. Lights dimming was one base we hadn't covered.

I detest chair kicking. I have sympathy if the parents have taken the child's shoes off and are trying and its the odd knock but the unrelenting boot boot is really rude. If that's what you have to put up with at the theatre then yanbu.

I doubt there will be many children at les mis as the content is unsuitable surely for pre teens?

YANBU
My ASD son tends to flap and wiggle a lot when he's excited but I wouldn't just sit there and let him carry on kicking the back of someone else's seat. Not on.

The only thing I would take issue with in your post is the implication that to expect good manners is somehow middle class. There are rude, entitled people throughout society. You were not unreasonable, though, to ask for the children to stop behaving as they did.

The only thing I would take issue with in your post is the implication that to expect good manners is somehow middle class

I didn't take it that way when the OP said OK, so this might be the most middle class thread ever but... she meant because it was going to be about going to theatre. I have seen people snipe about the theatre being 'very middle class' on here before. So not shocked that she thought that.

I didn't take it that she meant manners were middle class.

I took my dd to a pop concert when she was about 8 or 9.

The man in front turned round and told her to stop kicking his seat before the show started, I very firmly and loudly told my dd to stop that straight away and mind her feet and apologised to him. I watched her throughout and she did it again - once. He was so rude and aggressive in response even though I had kept her feet away from him for two hours!

He also sat through a very fun, noisy, pop show without once smiling or moving - he also told the girls in front to sit down when they were jumping up and down for an encore at the end.

Twat.

So I can see both sides, we could all do with showing more consideration to others.

Wearing annoying headgear. It was a panto but ffs they're annoying especially when worn by a large adults in front of you. There were three of them.

Another lady thought so too and pinched two of my seats (the two with more considerate people in front), including the aisle seat I always get for DS (ASD). Then protested loudly that "it didn't matter" which seat you sat in. Yes it does. Once shifted she played with her phone during the performance and at one point actually answered the phone. Tit.

Of course it's unacceptable to let your children interfere with other people's full enjoyment of entertainments, be they theatre, restaurants or anything else.

Hello, sorry I didn't mean to say that manners were middle class, just the bit about saying "I want to the theatre, darlings, and I got frightfully cross..."

Whoever said that seatkicking might be a bugbear of mine has a point. I find it very annoying, my DH can just shrug it off. But he is also incredibly non confrontational and would rather put up with it.

And I agree that an angry adult shouting at an unknown child is not on, but I was incredibly smiley when I asked the first time, a bit smiley when I asked the second, and looked a bit stern when asked a third. I comforted myself that I could have a rant on here later.

But mostly I agree with the folk that say that the theatre is a treat for our family and I hate to have it ruined by inconsiderate people.

And I am a bit ashamed to admit that when the older boy out his feet on DS's chair, I just said "Feet. Off" but by this time I realised that the parents did not give a toss.

Am I the only one who clicked on this thinking it was a critique of child actors?

YADNBU! It's a bug-bear of mine too. Well any bad manners is to be honest.

I can't stand it when children are mis-behaving or being annoying and the adults just sit there and ignore it! How about making the effort to actually parent your child?!!! Grrrr pisses me off!

I agree with pps including MidniteScribbler: unfortunately many adults don't know how to behave in the theatre. Don't get me started on the cinema, that's worse. It isn't an extension of your living room. The entire audience have usually paid a lot of money to experience the performance. That doesn't mean inconsiderate parents have carte blanche to let their children behave however they like, unchecked.

Went to the theatre Christmas Eve, it was a family friendly production so we expected some child related noise. The posters suggested that it was suitable for 5+ but some idiots behind us had about 6 children between them and the oldest was probably about 5, the there were between around 18 months to 3. They were an absolute pain in the arse- not especially badly behaved but just making the amount of noise that you would expect from children of that age. At one point one of the babies let out such an ear piercing screech that the actors on stage actually paused for a second.
There had obviously been complaints because during the interval I saw a member of staff speaking to them and the adults seemed very put out that they were expected to keep the children quiet. The mum was saying that unless they brought all of the children then the oldest would miss out - total crap as it looked like 2 families together and tough anyway!!
They were just as bad in the second half despite being loudly " shushed" by other audience members.
Didn't ruin the evening completely but certainly affected it

A Pp says that children are bound to make a noise 'with their food and drink' . Exactly: food and drink in a theatre is the whole problem. Theatre is a live performance, with silences, and actors who concentrate. Massive bags of crinkly sweets, anything crunchy, slurpy, that fizzes when opened, is not right for the theatre.

Unlike cinema, theatre has an interval. Wait Til then for the guzzle fest!

I have many bugbears about the theatre. One is children not behaving, I try really hard to make my DT be quiet and still nicely during the performance, doesn't help when other children play up. Eating during the performance is a no no, that's what the interval is for! Those bloody light up bits of plastic tat. Do not keep them going all performance, bad enough during a panto. Very bad in a ballet. And the 4 or 5 boys that sat behind us at the ballet that not only kicked seats all night but loudly discussed the plot and how boring it was. Parents should sit in between children so that they can't behave so. badly. Looked like they went to a fee paying school by the uniforms but had no class.

I'm with you, OP. I took DS1 to see the ballet (The Dream) when he was 7.6 and fully expected him to sit quietly, not kick anyone's chair and behave in an exemplary fashion. Which he did. I would not have contemplated taking DS2 (at the time, 2.8) because he wouldn't have coped or been interested enough - but when we take them both to the cinema, they are both expected to sit quietly, eat their sweets quietly, drink their drinks and not spend the entire film kicking around, looking at people behind, or commenting over loudly on the film. DS2 does a bit of those but is threatened every time with being removed and missing out if he carries on, so he pretty soon stops.

I can't be doing with parents who refuse to curtail their offsprings' bad manners.

I remember going to the cinema once and some kids from the back row were throwing popcorn around. It was awful.

I think some adults don't behave well in the theatre either. talking etc.

Yanbu. I went to the ballet yesterday, which was terrific. The tickets had cost a total of £130 quid. It was a matinee so I expected a few children to be there.

The children were very well behaved actually, but one of the adults in the seat behind me got out a bag of ONION RINGS and started scoffing them and passing them round! Ffs just wait for a couple of hours then eat!

It's not always the children who behave badly.

I took DS1 to see Star Wars yesterday. When we sat down the couple in the seats behind us went into a huge show of eye-rolling and muttering about the indignity of having to sit behind a child and how their viewing would be ruined. I smiled sweetly and then ignored them.

DS1 behaved impeccably. As did all the other children there. The couple, on the other hand, talked throughout all the quiet bits. 'So Princess Leia is [insert spoiler] and Han Solo is [insert other spoiler]. So who is the girl? And which one is Luke Skywalker?' 'Well, don't you remember in the first film how....' and on and on and on. They were shushed by several people around them but appeared to be oblivious. They looked to be in their seventies, so plenty of time to learn the basic cinema behaviour that the young children present seemed to have figured out in the space of a few years.

Can still remember going to see a show and the woman who arrived with a box of sushi and chopsticks and proceeded to nosh all through the performance with accompanying slurping noises as she sucked noodles up.

YANBU, it happens in the cinema a lot too.

Sadly some parents just class it as children being children rather than teaching them manners and how to behave in public.

There's something off-putting about people who get really upset at someone else's child not acting perfectly, or glaring at the parents or at the children, or insisting in a huff that the child had better stop kicking your seat or whatever. It's a little funny, it kind of reflects badly on that person, not the child.

There is something off putting about parents that let their children continually kick the back of someone's seat and don't even bat an eyelid imo.

I don't think whether it was a family showing or not matters. Kicking seats isn't acceptable at any show.

It is just indicative of some parents not giving a shit how their children's behaviour impacts others.

And hence why I don't take DD to family showings - I don't see why her experience should be ruined by others