To be annoyed at parents who do not teach their kids how to act properly at the theatre?

[DSClarke]

OK, so this might be the most middle class thread ever but...

We were at theatre today for a family production. Kid of about 7 behind me starts kicking my chair before the play starts. I wait for about 2 minutes, then turn round to him, smile very sweetly, and say "I'm sorry, but would you mind not kicking my chair, thank you?" Parents are two kids away on either side do nothing.

He then does it sporadically through the play. I ask him twice not to do it, and then for his older brother to get his feet off the back of my DS's chair. Coulple that with the fact that they spend the first 30 minutes eating sweets from the crinklest bag ever.

Am I an old fuddy duddy? Is this OK behaviour now? Do these parents think that it is OK for their kids to piss off everyone around them (the man next to me was getting seriously pissed off as well).

However, my DH just thinks it was kids being kids.

I am seriously considering splashing out for a box next time

Purple - that is pretty awful!

Fair enough Pages if it was accidental, but this kid was swinging his legs back and forth into my chair. And he did it at least three times. I just ignored the odd kick, and only asked him to stop after he got into a really good rhythm after about 30 beats.

YANBU That is unacceptable behaviour in any venue. Simply bad behaviour from a child clearly brought up by parents with poor manners. And no, I don't care how 'excited' a child was. Constant kicking throughout a performance is not on.

It's not unreasonable to expect no chair kicking.
However we were at the theatre Boxing Day and I noticed when my DS sat on the booster provided how awfully close his toes were to the seat in front. I mean there was approx one inch wriggle room. I'm not sure I could be so still to ensure no contact. The boosters also were angled to ensure no sharp angle at the knee, thus giving a sloping angle to the legs, almost ensuring contact!

So maybe it was a design flaw?

Loud snogging

YANBU.

I grew up going to the theatre on a regular basis. I still have a love of ballet and try and go as often as possible.

My eldest DC turned 5 in March so she has come with me the last 3 times I've been. I made sure to explain to her what would happen during the show (house lights going down, varying volumes of music, occasionally no lights at all etc) and that she would need to sit quietly, need to go to the toilet before we went in and not kick the seat in front of her. Apart from little wobble where she almost ended up on lap during a particularly loud bit of cymbal clashing her behaviour has been impeccable. Children need to be told and shown how to behave in new situations.

Mind you we were at a show in Manchester and I had to asked to be moved after the couple next to us not only were very drunk and chatting very loudly but all but shagging each other. Their poor little dd was mortified.

The usher came to look , took one look and moved us to a box.

No boosters to excuse it I'm afraid.

Really lovely Bernard to pass your love of ballet onto your DCs.

The couple were shagging at a theatre in front of their child??? Am I reading correctly???

Shagging and snogging? I am obviously going to the wrong kind of shows.

The shagging also was not II. Joseph, was it? Any dream will do....

Yanbu. DH and I went to see a play once when was ££ and a birthday treat. We were really loving forward to it. A child of about 12 talked all the way though the first half asking inane questions about the plot. The mother then whispered a response. Not once did she suggest he keep his booming voice down. In the end I turned round and asked him to be quiet. DH was a bit but to my mind we hadn't paid good money to listen to him and his mother (didn't see a father around) should have been teaching him how to behave and not expecting us all to make allowances because of his age. He was plenty old enough to know better and if he wasn't then someone should have taught him.

As for kicking chairs - very bloody annoying and a reason I sit next to my 7 year old at the theatre to stop him doing it. Why should other people put up with something so annoying? It's my job to teach my children to behave in different settings. Not for other people to put up with.

I can't tolerate bad behaviour anywhere. I'm sure part of it is that not all children get enough exposure to performances and don't learn how to behave from an early age. Scenes in TV programmes are really short so they don't lose attention, very few people listen to classical music etc. It's the same with museums etc - some children just don't learn how to behave. Some parents think their children are very entitled and manners don't count. It might sound like a middle class rant but it absolutely isn't. It's politeness and expectation.

None of mine could ever tolerate panto - they hated the noise and the general silliness. I do think it's important to choose theatre at an early age that engages children. I'm still very careful what I choose to take dd3 (11) to because I want her to love it. Lots on offer in big cities but not much round here unfortunately.

Shagging in the theatre. . Now I'm as horny as the next person but I can wait until I get home. I'm not surprised their poor dd was mortified. I mean they're parents ffs not two young adventurous teenagers. Am I behind the times or is it not illegal to shag in public places.

I did put all but shagging each other sorry. I meant they were all over each other.

Oh I was reading incorrectly then! Pheweee!

I was at the theatre last month and a family sat next to us with 2 sons. They downed their bottle of coke, then decided to keep sucking on them and then blowing into them, to make the bottles make a loud cracking noise as they inflated or deflated. The parents who sat with them completely ignored them, whereas I'd be hissing whispering at mine to put the bottles down at that point.

I was doing a fair job of ignoring them, despite water bottle noises being a major bugbear of mine (primary teacher where kids can't seem to keep a bottle out of their mouths for a single hour, but that's another thread) but an elderly man in the row in front turned around and politely and calmly informed them that it was annoying.

They did it a few more times for good measure (and to save face in front of each other probably) and then did calm down.

However, at the interval, just as we were standing up to go to the loo, the kids stood too and I saw and heard one of them (about 11yo) making a gesture to the old man and saying something along the lines of 'And if you dare to tell me it's annoying, I'll....'

I'm afraid that at that point my mouth bypassed my brain and I gave him my best teacher look and quietly told him that it was annoying actually, then gave a big smile.

They didn't play with the bottles after the interval.

Yes, it could be argued that children don't go to the theatre often enough to learn the rules, but if the parents are there they should still be parenting while the show is on and if that means telling their child not to kick seats/talk/drop litter/make bloody cracking noises with empty bottles, then they should still do that.

Thank goodness, I had very strange visions of not being able to see the stage because of someone's bum bobbing up and down...

YANBU. Fair enough an accidental kick/knock of chair theatres aren't always best places for space between rows but constant no.
At a kids/family production you expect some noise within reason. I went to a family show with my DD today and in the interval the girl next to me about 4 put chocolate ice cream over me-she wasn't holding the tub properly then put her hand on me..... It was an accident and no harm done (bit annoying) but neither her mum or grandmother apologised or were watching her they were too busy waving at people in the upper tier.
I got hit by a pair of glasses in the cinema in the summer holidays. Child they belonged to then spent a good 5 mins crawling around looking for them as nobody could work out where they went.

Oh, yes the kids were doing that bottle thing as well! I had forgotten in my annoyance at the kicking and sweetie rustling.

ive got mixed views. I'd be more tolerant of it because it was a show aimed at kids, so the behaviours to be expected. But I know if my child did that and I saw it i'd tell them to stop immediately.

I don't know if i'd be brave enough to address a child kicking my seat, simply because there are some parents who kick up a fight in defence of their kids even if their child was in the wrong, I'm not good with confrontation and showdowns, and it would ruin the event? You were brave OP I'm a coward.

Also you shouldn't assume the parents are oh so bad with devilish kids. I have 4 and to be honest they have their squabbles and annoying behaviours, if I picked them up on every single thing i'd lose my sanity literally. So somethings I tolerate (with gritted teeth) and more serious behaviours I reprimand and punish. If I punished my children for every single behaviour I'm afraid they would just stop listening, they would see me as the one who nags on everything and spoils their fun, and I think they'd be correct.

Do theatre tickets cost that much 100 quid for kids????? I recall going to my local theatre it was never as much as that, otherwise my parents or schools would never have taken us. I assume you mean adult productions specifically in London?

YANBU at all. I'm a bit miserable about stuff like this; if you've forked out for theatre trips, it doesn't kill your DCs to learn to be quiet, calm and still. DS1 has ASD (he's 10) and struggles at times with flapping/loud voices, but has learned over the years with gentle encouragement and lots of praise to behave impeccably in theatres, as has DS2 (4).

We've been to two different shows this Christmas and most of the children in the audiences were just awful. I don't mind toddler/pre-school children having a moment but when they're just messing about it defeats the point of being there.

YANBU and not a mc class issue at all, I'd be really pissed off if I had spent a lot of money for a seat and had this.

They should be made to leave, it's anti social behaviour and ruins the experience for others.
Perhaps we should campaign the theatres, they wouldn't lose anything as they'd already have their money.

At a family production I wouldn't be bothered by sweets rustling. It's not the royal opera house. But yes, of course the kicking is very rude.

I went to see The Force Awakens a few days ago and was surprised by how many young children were in the audience but all were impeccably behaved from what I could see. It is not the age of the child but the manners instilled and the parenting while out that makes the difference.