Really angry about the queue for the loo today.

[Harriedharriet]

Was in a museum with dds today. They needed the loo so off we went. They are quite young, 7 & 8 yrs approx. The queue for the ladies was very long and very slow. No queue for the men's. They sauntered in and, a few minutes later sauntered out. All the men looked relaxed and at ease. All the women looked uncomfortable and ill at ease. We waited at least 20 minutes to get in. There were elderly women, pregnant women, women who looked drained, fatigued or just down right impatient.
Why do we have the same amount of space as men? Our biology is different. We need more space and more time. We menstruate. We reproduce the human race. And we bloody stand in a queue like cattle to attend to basic human needs.
Any architects out there? Why does this happen? It really is an outrage. I have spent so much of my life waiting for the loo in public spaces. Now to see my dds subjected to it really made my blood boil.
Anyone else?
Rant over, thanks for reading.

Well this thread has taken a turn for the weird! Women "faff" in the toilet so it's their own fault there's a queue??? I've never noticed this and assume if someone is ages it's period or poo related. Not because they're busy texting their friend or sitting there daydreaming because silly old women just aren't as clever or efficient as men. Of course it takes longer when you've got your period. It definitely adds time for me if I have to remove a tampon, throw it away, get a new one from my bag, insert it, throw away the wrapper. Not ages obviously but it's ridiculous to say that's as fast as doing a quick wee. And back in the days when I used sanitary towels I could be wiping for fucking hours. And actually all this is a red herring because ultimately removing clothes to wee sitting down in a locked cubicle will always take longer than weeing at a urinal anyway. That is so bloody obvious.

Yahoooo!😁😬😀 bloody finally! Some posters who see this for what it is: there are not enough loos for women. Simple. I appreciate that old buildings are hard to modernize. However, I am quite sure that if men had to wait as long as we did today to pee - old building or not, a solution would be found and double quick!
i found the sexism on this thread very disheartening and especially the sneering at "slow, what the hell are they doing in there" comments in the first few pages.

I agree with you it's a huge pain in the arse but I can't agree it's a feminist issue, I think it's just due to faffing nine times out of ten

One of my colleagues freely admits she sits on the loo after she's finished and retouches her make up etc etc. God knows if anyone else does this as I thought it was bizarre but just as an example.

I go in, lock door, sit down, wee, flush. Is there really any more to it than that? I can't see a massive amount of difference between men and women in that respect tbh, other than women being on their periods.

Oh and on my office floor we have ten female loos and one male loo. There is never more than one person waiting for the men's but there's always a queue for the women's.

You are right OP! I cannot believe some of the answers on this thread.
The college where I do my tutorials has unisex toilets and the queue flows so smoothly and quickly. No hassle at all.
Our cinema has unisex too with the sinks in the individual toilets and that runs even better.

HellesBelles01 - I was working for a large investment company in the City 20 years ago too. It could have been the same one by your description and there were a couple of female directors who made use of the director's loos.

I've always wondered why some women take an age in the loo when there is a long queue outside. The thing that irritates me is when one cubicle seems to be permanently locked and from my position in the long queue outside I am thinking it must be out of order, when suddenly it unlocks and two girls come out.

On the subject of toilet provision, what about pointless baby changing rooms with no adult toilet? As clearly I have nothing better to do than to queue up to use that, then join a new queue for the ladies

Personally I think the issue with women's toilets is the flush. I go in, wee, wipe and attempt to flush. If I have followed someone in the tank hasn't filled, so I gave to wait to flush or leave a toilet filled with wee and menstrual residue for the next lady. I won't obviously, hence the delay. Men piss and go.

Var- possibly. This was in the insurance industry. I can't remember how many female directors were there at the time but it was very few. Some women (of all grades) used the directors loos as a point of principle. To be fair, most of the men also thought it was a ridiculous set up.

It's a mixture of problems.

I haven't done a survey, but all the women I socialise with do take longer in the toilet. It would make sense to have more cubicles. It doesn't matter the reasons, they take longer.

What I don't get is how anyone knows the exact square footage of the men's toilets vs the women's. Maybe the women do have more space.

Yes women do usually take the kids to the toilet. So if you are out with a man get them to take them to the loo. That's what we did. I would queue in the ladies and dh would take the kids.

Dd is now 11 and wouldn't go in a mans toilet so queues with me. The more men that take their kids to the look the more it will help the queues in women's toilets and even itself up.

Personally I think toilets should be unisex. It would solve loads of problems.

I'm not too convinced by the "We can't change old buildings" argument. In larger buildings at least if you've got, say, two men's loos and two women's, it's not difficult to convert one of the men's into a women's; or to convert all of them into unisex.

Thanks to the person who posted about their aunt's study, interesting.

okay, let's remove children from the equation (I'm never really at places where children are a factor in slowing the queue and see this all the time).

think of venues like over 18s festivals, pubs, bars, nightclubs etc - usually need to think of situations like a queue for the loo at one particular time because people don't want to pee at midnight on NYE or it's the break between whoever is on stage. Or even big seminars at conferences etc.

again, no kids.

bearing in mind there will be men with health issues, women with health issues, which queue is 3 times as long as the other?

I was at a theatre with literally no kids in the queue for loo. (Thinking about it, there were probably more men at this show than women). My companion has a prostate issue and went before the show, after the show and twice during the interval. I went after the show and honestly I felt bad how long he was hanging around waiting. I hardly had to wait for him at all, I had time to take a couple of sips of drink. When I went, I could see how fast the gents' queue was moving. (I asked my friend and he said there were urinals and some cubicles, so I didn't use the gents because I think it's unfair to them to barge past them at the urinals).

I wonder if there is a behavioural issue - some women think it takes ages to get through the queue, and then are very slow themselves because they just think, oh well, it takes ages?

I had forgotten about Spanx I admit. I also remember, as a teen, my mum said to me "how can you be so quick in the loo?" - She wears a sari, and I said well, of course you take ages faffing with that. She was very defensive and said "no I don't, I've been wearing saris all my life, that doesn't take extra time". But I beg to differ. So some people who are wearing Spanx and goodness knows what else may take longer.

I don't even wear skirts so I don't have to make sure that they aren't stuck in my pants or whatever.

I honestly thought the replies on this thread would be fairly unanimous about the need for better and larger toilet facilities for women (as in more cubicles, not larger as in square footage) and instead it's full of sneering about how women spend too much time faffing.

I'm genuinely surprised. And disappointed.

Yep.

Even if the vast majority of women only take a few seconds longer than men to go for a wee, once you times that by hundreds of people combined with the higher proportion of women who will take extra time (those with children etc) than men then surely it's just common sense to see how a queue is far more likely to build outside the womens than the mens.

Women (well most) can see this logic but I'd hazard a guess most public building are designed by men who have likely never had to queue for a wee in their lives! It's just not on their radar.

That Ben Elton quote is awesome.

does no one want to pick up on the point about longer queues in places where there are no children?

Surely it's not either/or though? The problem is twofold.

First problem : generally the toilet provision for women is inadequate.

Second problem: many women take much longer than they need to while in the cubicle.

Both problems cause frustration for those waiting.

Women take longer, we wee more usually in any case especially when pregnant. We bleed too obviously. My mum, bless her, used to take an age in toilet cubicles as she got older - I have no idea what she was doing but she had very slight bladder issues too. Plus mums will often take small children in so it takes longer. I agree that in general there needs to be pretty much twice as many ladies loos as mens.

I have often thought that there is an element of 'just reward' in cubicle hogging. This applies in shop changing rooms too.

Most people who queue for ages will think 'right, there's a queue, I'd better make this swift' but a sizeable minority will think 'I've waited ages for this, I'm bloody well going to get the most out of it' .

Usual caveats apply.

Lorelei you are right. I remember at university, where we were all fit young things, the queue for the women's toilets in the uni bars was always absolutely ridiculous. No such queue for the men's.

I have no idea why. Ridiculous clothing perhaps.

I also agree with the OP

And i am an awesomely quick wee-er much faster than DH

I think unisex toilets would be the way to go, the sky gardens in london have them as does a shopping centre near us which i have never seen with a queue

What did make me laugh was one of the men in the sky garden queue couldnt figure out why we were queuing, it sounded like he had never been in a unisex toilet and didnt understand the concept of having to wait to usethe toilet

Could we have toilets with some open "cubicles" and some closed? I Dont flash much when weeing but would prfer a closed door when doing a poo or changing my towel

The only thing that winds me up about ladies loos are the women who queue with their ds's who are (IMO) old enough to go alone. Or whose dad's are waiting outside.

We went to the Towns Panto yesterday and the ladies queue was huge...at least half of it was women and dc, a lot of whom were boys aged 5/6/7/8 ish, hopping and crossing their legs. Send them into the empty men's toilets ffs!

Morris, what is the benefit of staying in a toilet cubicle though?!

The peeing process is just quicker for men.

Man: Walk in, stand at urinal, unzip fly, todger out, pee, shake, todger in, zip up fly. The urinal is then available for another man. Time taken approx half a minute.

Woman: Walk in, open door (is loo fit for using?), close door, hang up bag (is there a hook?), pants down, sit down, pee, wipe (is there any toilet paper?), pants up, flush (wait to make sure flush has worked), get bag, open door. The stall is then available for another woman. No faffing but time take approx a minute, probably more if e.g. there's no hook, no toilet paper, loo seat needs wiping, etc, etc.