To be upset....

[Phalenopsisgirl]

Booked a 3D scan for today as thought this would be a lovely thing to do as a family (dh, ds and 2 dss) at Christmas and told older step children about it a few weeks ago. One showed no interest and said at the time he would probably have plans so I let it go there and then but other ( who lives with us full time ) said yes,great, he'd be there. This morning he has clearly forgotten and announces he has a guest coming round, I was not consulted directly but pointed out to dh that guest should be put off until later in the day as a previous commitment has been made but dh decides to take the easy route and just let it go. Left feeling really crushed, dh can't see why I am upset and can't understand that he should be showing his adult sons that if you have committed to something you should see it through, even if you have forgotten once reminded you should stick with first commitment. Note my parents would have loved to have come but I didn't invite as was treating it as a thing for just the 5 of us. AIBU?

Op is just behaving like a dick now.

However there can be acceptance as well as grief and death can be approached and coped with without it destroying lives.

You really do live in a very strange bubble.

grief and death can be approached and coped with without it destroying lives.?????? really then please tell that too many broken families whom have lost children ect xxxx

op i understand where you are coming from. but as you were so upset about the scan thing. how would you be if the home birth did not go as planned. or if the kids/adults just want to fuck of somewhere. they did with the scan situation. so maybe they might feel the same about the birth. now your son might be saying i would really like to. at the time he might think sod this. but does not want to let you down. and in general you dont know how you will be yourself.

There were about six yesterday MumontheRun

Muppet

'I know myself and how I will cope if the worst should happen. This is not disrespectful to anyone who has lost a child ( or anyone )and struggled to cope. This does not mean I would not grieve, nor that anyone in our family would not grieve. However there can be acceptance as well as grief and death can be approached and coped with without it destroying lives.'

No, you don't. And as for the rest of this post, it's beyond fucking crass, disrespectful and frankly disgusting. If that's what you were aiming for, congratulations, you have succeeded. Well done. I'm not personally upset, because people like you are a dime a dozen and not really worth getting upset about, but plenty of people will, unfortunately.

I'm just posting for the deletion message

Snazza , there were many many families having 'just for fun'scans today alone. Most were large family groups out to enjoy the experience together because this isn't possible at a standard nhs scan, ( plus the nhs scans are a totally different thing) I'm sure not all of us can be unhinged. In fact seeing as these centres are fully booked daily I'd say at least some of us weren't self obsessed freaks selfishly expecting others to share their joy but some just want extra family members to have a chance to join them and in fact people do actually enjoy going! Shocking but true. Even my own family were pretty chuffed once we got there.... Amazing !!

This has gone all fucking weirdy

I doubt very much that your son will have an authorised day off school to witness the birth of his sibling.

If you really had such a strong family medical background you wouldn't be making such a hoopla out of a scan. In fact neither you nor your DH would be going to one for fun and bonding or making such a big deal about the birth.

Medics or anyone busy enough to be able to afford houses with pools don't have the time or patience for such nonsensities.

I think I've fallen down the rabbit hole.

thewolfof34thstree, thank goodness for that xxxx

iklboo I love that film.

The male lead in that film, he faked like he was a bereaved parent and went to TCF meetings in the like, with a fake story about a child who didn't exist, and spied on all those vulnerable people. He lied to them and was a fucking troll. I think that's a cuntish thing to do. It makes me sick in fact, so I will never watch that film because the lead had to act like a cunt to do it rather than on his own talent.

Agree with Mistress Mia, several members of my family are doctors and none of them have shown any interest in these super fun scans. Once the baby is born you can watch her for hours; yawning, rubbing her nose etc...isn't that quite enough?

Are we talking about the same film? Matrix?

This has to be bollocks. No one who has had a child can be so blasé about what would happen if a baby was to die.

I used to work with a lady who lied about her son having cancer, I remember her saying to me 'if he dies it was meant to be and I will be ok with it'. The OP sounds like her. I wonder if the op is her

You're very old aren't you OP? That's why you're being such a show-off about this baby, it's because you're just effing amazed at your own talent in managing to conceive when you and likely your DH should be way past it.

I'm also posting out of curiosity for the deletion message

And I'm intrigued by the film expat is talking about.

I think many are failing to recognise heavy sacrcasm. I am very amused that whilst defending MY choice to allow Ds into bedroom during labour I explained that yes, I have thought it through and yes even the very worst case scenarios have been discussed however unlikely I felt it important to cover these. Then after after I say that we have talked about what may happen including death of me and or baby someone pipes in with " what if you poo?!" As if this is the most catastrophic event ever. No ! Not poooooooo!!!!

In tears about someone not wanting to go to a scan but breathtakingly blasé about death. Bizarre.

Bollocks.

You have no clue if you would cope, if your child died.

You don't know if your son would cope if you died.

And it's fucking insulting!

Baring in mind you were the one that brought up the situation of you dying.

You think there's a high enough chance of you dying that you discusses it with your son. And think he will be ok if it happens because you had a chat.

It's a line from The Matrix but I think I know the film expat is referring to - something like Rabbit Hole (but I had to look it up)

So sorry expat. I wasn't referring to that film. I've read your posts and truly didn't mean to cause you any distress. I wasn't aware of that film or what the actor did.