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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do you know any misogynistic women?

555 replies

ovaryhill · 27/12/2015 09:37

I've been reading a bit about this and wondered how common it is.
Has anyone had any experience of this?
I know at least one woman who behaves as if she hates other women and is very derogatory about women in general, agrees that wearing short skirts means you're asking for trouble kind of thing, sees other women as a threat and would prefer to work for men
Any opinions or experience?

OP posts:
cantgonofurther · 29/12/2015 15:21

Yes my mum!
She would say a woman doesn't need an education. It is more important for a man to go to university as they need a career to support their wife and children.

I wanted to change my surname legally as a teenager so I had the same name as the rest of the family, she said there was no point as I would be changing it again when I got married.
She is firmly against women with pre school.children working.
She thinks women wearing make up is misleading to men.
She told my 13year old dd she should start plucking her eyebrows.
She claims other women are all jealous of her as their husbands fancy her and because she is good looking etc
Women should have babies by the time they are 30.

She looks at other women and judges their clothes, weight, make up, body shape etc.

derxa · 29/12/2015 15:22

Mary Beard? Mary Berry? Jo Brand? Off the top of my head.

BertrandRussell · 29/12/2015 15:24

Look what happened to Mary Beard. Jo Brand is only "allowed" because she constantly puts herself down about her weight. And May Berry is slim and attractive and an anomaly.

bumbleymummy · 29/12/2015 15:33

Yep derxa.

Bert, do you think there are 'societal norms' of men's physical beauty as well? I don't see too many aging, balding, overweight men with hairy backs being shown as examples of male physical beauty...

BertrandRussell · 29/12/2015 15:35

" I don't see too many aging, balding, overweight men with hairy backs being shown as examples of male physical beauty..."

Maybe not- but there are plenty of them on the TV! Well, I don't know about the hairy backs......

bumbleymummy · 29/12/2015 15:41

Yes, so agree that what is considered 'attractive' to both sexes often requires some modification? That it's not just women who change their appearance?

Well, maybe some of the women you see on TV have hairy legs and fanjos too :) You can't see it under their clothes. Men often have to shave their faces/trim their facial hair and keep their hair short to have their appearance considered 'acceptable'.

NickiFury · 29/12/2015 15:41

I think quite often women who insist that they get on better with men would find that most men aren't actually showing who they really are because it's a woman they're dealing with. You're getting the nice, more easy going, pleasant side of them because you're a woman. No wonder you get on better with them.

bumbleymummy · 29/12/2015 15:41

Sorry, missing word in first sentence - so you agree...

derxa · 29/12/2015 15:43

There is plenty of objectifying of 'beautiful' males now. Read the thread on 'And Then There Were None' Some of the comments on Aiden Turner wearing a towel are Shock

bumbleymummy · 29/12/2015 15:44

Nicki, or maybe they feel under pressure to be more loud/physical/dominant/aggressive when they're around other men even though they are usually quiet and easy going? I think it can work both ways...

BertrandRussell · 29/12/2015 15:44

You're not seriously suggesting that there are as many older, not slim, not pretty women on TV as there are men are you? That the same standards apply to men as they do to women?

bumbleymummy · 29/12/2015 15:51

Bert, I'm asking if you recognise and agree that what people find attractive in other people often requires some modification. That it's not only women who change their appearance. Are you avoiding that question?

witsender · 29/12/2015 15:51

It is accepted and expected that boys be more aggressive, verbally and physically. So they are allowed (societally) and even encouraged to be blunt, tell it how it is etc. Girls however are meant to be nice. Be peacekeepers and wherever possible, unaggressive. But we all have the same tendencies, so in girls and women it comes out more covertly, so is described as bitchiness. And then is derided, while men get to be the favoured friends because they are blunt and upfront.

derxa · 29/12/2015 15:51

You're not seriously suggesting that there are as many older, not slim, not pretty women on TV as there are men are you? That the same standards apply to men as they do to women? No I'm not. This is most clearly exemplified in the choice of news anchors. I'm just trying to say that things are much more complicated than saying 'society' forces modification on women. Young men are under these pressures too. Also the phrase 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' is still true.

bumbleymummy · 29/12/2015 15:54

Witsender. Boys who are quieter, not aggressive, perhaps not particularly sporty are judged negatively as being a bit 'weak' etc and are often picked on.

witsender · 29/12/2015 15:55

Because those traits are considered girly.

witsender · 29/12/2015 15:56

Besides, how does that relate to misogynistic women?

bumbleymummy · 29/12/2015 15:59

I don't think it's that they are 'considered girly'. I just think that they aren't considered 'typical' in boys. As you pointed out, it is expected that boys be more boisterous and aggressive. The ones who aren't don't 'fit it' with the other boys so become a target. The quieter ones are under pressure to 'fit in' with societal expectations in those respects.

bumbleymummy · 29/12/2015 16:03

We were discussing 'societal' expectations of women to modify their appearance. Some of us are pointing out that men also modify their appearance to fit in with ideas of what is 'attractive' in men e.g. removal/trimming of facial hair/chest hair/back hair etc.

BertrandRussell · 29/12/2015 16:14

Of course some men also modify their appearance.

There is no societal expectation on them so to do. And there are plenty of men in the public eye who don't.

bumbleymummy · 29/12/2015 16:23

I disagree that there is no societal expectation on men to modify their appearance. Many men in the public eye are expected to look 'presentable' so they shave regularly, keep their hair short and trim their nose/ear hair as well as dressing 'suitably'.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 29/12/2015 16:33

There is some expectation bumbley but it's incomparable to pressure on women to look a certain way. It's naive, bordering on obtuse, to think otherwise, in my opinion.

BertrandRussell · 29/12/2015 16:44

Why are some people so desperate to show that the pressures on men are exactly the same and just as hard as the pressures on women? In circumstances where they are patently not? It's just bizarre!

Nobody can seriously think that men's physical appearance is as policed and proscribed by society and the media as women's can they?

Sallystyle · 29/12/2015 17:00

I think it is slowly getting worse for men.

I hear my teen boys talk and hear how they worry about their appearance. They worry they aren't muscly enough, hairy enough, if their hair isn't right etc and I know from a teacher friend of mine many of them are worrying about their weight from a really young age.

So I don't think men have it as easy in that way anymore and I completely disagree that there is no societal expectation for them to modify themselves, but clearly women have much more pressure put on them in that way than men do, but there is more pressure on men than there ever used to be.

RufusTheReindeer · 29/12/2015 17:03

bumbley

Boys that dont fit the norm are referred to as being either "girly" or "gay" amongst their peers

And some grown ups

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