Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give a shit

130 replies

Jjen12345 · 26/12/2015 12:53

Just found out this morning, that the woman who falsely accused Dh of sexual assault killed herself last week.
It was proved that she was lying with cameras, witnesses etc.
And she had previous for this sort of thing. She was never charged for what she put us through.
I was pregnant when she accused my Dh and I became hysterical. I thought I would damage my baby with the stress. It was an awful time.
When I heard she was dead, I thought "good."
She will never be able to almost destroy a family ever again.

OP posts:
Thornrose · 26/12/2015 23:14

I agree OddSocks!

OddSocksHighHeels · 26/12/2015 23:15

She's dead. She killed herself. You have your life.

Original poster
Jjen12345 · 26/12/2015 23:20

yes, after months of hell.
thinking about it now, I still feel so angry. She almost ruined my dh's life.
So I think I have answered my own aibu.

OP posts:
OddSocksHighHeels · 26/12/2015 23:22

Hang on, I got confused. I thought terri was the OP but she isn't?

Thornrose · 26/12/2015 23:24

OP are you also Terrihat? Confused

GreatFuckability · 26/12/2015 23:25

I think its disgusting to suggest raising a glass to someone's death. She sounds like a sad, messed up person. I can't fathom ever being actively happy that someone's life was that awful they felt the need to end it.

Original poster
Jjen12345 · 26/12/2015 23:28

Yes for some reason my usual name came back up I have reported it because obviously this is a sensitive thread and the whole reason I NC was so I wasnt known but I have fucked that right up Xmas Angry

OP posts:
Houseworkavoider · 26/12/2015 23:34

Nice.

Thornrose · 26/12/2015 23:40

You hope she is still suffering in death while you and your dh continue to live your lives with your beautiful ds?

Original poster
Jjen12345 · 26/12/2015 23:47

The woman who lied and tried to destroy my family while I was pregnant..?
Yes I do. Why do people think that people who are cunts in life suddenly become martyrs in death..?

OP posts:
Thornrose · 26/12/2015 23:51

I just think she's dead, she killed herself, it's all over for her. Yet you want her to continue to suffer. It's not about her being a martyr.

LovelyFriend · 26/12/2015 23:55

Other people will feel sad for her. You have every right to not give a shit.

OddSocksHighHeels · 26/12/2015 23:59

Nobody's saying she should be a martyr but hoping she's suffering in death? You need to let go.

Lovely I agree she doesn't need to give a shit but actually being glad and hoping she suffers is more than that.

Unreasonablebetty · 27/12/2015 00:01

When it comes down to it I'm one of the most forgiving people around, people get umpteen chances to prove themselves to not be an arse with me... But honestly, right now I would be saying no, you aren't bad to feel this way.
She screwed up your pregnancy, and she's ruined your partners reputation.
Even men who are 100% innocent have the rubbish from being accused follow them forever. I don't care what anyone says, there's always that boggle of doubt that remains for some around that man after he's been accused, because people don't lie about that for no reason they think.

I'm really sorry that you all went through this, don't give her any more of your time.

She obviously had quite a few issues

Mmmmcake123 · 27/12/2015 00:03

OP good luck in the future now this awful time has passed. I understand that you would feel glad as it can be a gut reaction to relief. I think a lot of people like to hear of people rising above it, easier said than done this, I'm sure.

LovelyFriend · 27/12/2015 00:11

Re feeling glad, it is very early days for the Op and her reaction is very raw. Possibly it's relief and a sense of some kind justice at long last, that could easily manifest as being glad.

We all die at some point.
I could honestly say there are a couple of people I might initially feel "glad" to hear of their demise. I'm not a bad or evil person. Just being honest but I am only speculating. The spectrum of emotions a perfectly normal person can experience is very broad. It doesn't make the op a bad person or a particularly damaged person to feel this.

JeffreysMummyIsCross · 27/12/2015 00:12

The woman would be pretty easily identifiable from this thread by people who knew her. How do you think her family might feel coming across a thread celebrating her death?

GreatFuckability · 27/12/2015 00:14

I agree Oddsocks, not caring and wishing her to still be suffering now she's dead are worlds apart.
I'm again going to suggest you need some help with moving on. Hatred and vengeance are not conducive to good mental health for you OP.

aurynne · 27/12/2015 00:29

"I can't believe somebody has actually recommended drinking champagne to celebrate a suicide. That's disgusting."

Man, some people really manage to twist whatever others are saying in order to support their arguments.

I would celebrate the end of a nightmare, and the fact that a destructive, vindictive person was not there anymore to keep attacking my family. The manner of her death (whether she fell off a cliff, was struck by lightning or died of a heart attack) would not concern me at all, as I would have had no say in it.

I suppose the bleeding hearts in this thread would rather it was the OP's DH who had ended up killing himself as a result of the accusations and hell he was made to go through. Which has happened before, as another poster has described, while the perpetrator went on to have a long, happy life. No thanks, I will keep on celebrating that innocent people are the ones still on this earth and not missing a person who deliberately chose to bring hatred and destruction to someone else.

OddSocksHighHeels · 27/12/2015 00:38

I didn't twist your words. Replace suicide with death if you prefer, the sentiment still stands. A woman is dead and you recommend drinking champagne to celebrate that. It's sick.

And no I wouldn't prefer OP's DH killed himself either. It's not an either/or situation. Nice of you to say that after accusing me of twisting words though.

Thornrose · 27/12/2015 00:40

You probably include me in your bleeding hearts comment. Why do you think she would keep attacking the family? There was clear evidence the OPs dh was innocent. She's hardly going to try it again!

You say Man, some people really manage to twist whatever others are saying in order to support their arguments.

Then do exactly the same thing by saying I suppose the bleeding hearts in this thread would rather it was the OP's DH who had ended up killing himself

Invandrare · 27/12/2015 00:42

I hope she is still suffering.

GET SOME URGENT PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP.

Iggi999 · 27/12/2015 00:49

Hopefully the accusation only stood for a short time before the exonerating CCTV footage came to light. Would he have actually been arrested by that stage?
I understand relief that she is gone but wishing her eternal suffering does not spring from a place of decency I'm afraid.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/12/2015 00:57

You hope she's still suffering. The women committed suicide because she obviously couldn't take any more. How much do you want her to suffer. No matter what the crime is. No one deserves to pay for it for an eternity.

GreatFuckability · 27/12/2015 01:08

But the nightmare ended for the OP when it was shown her DP had done nothing wrong aurynne. There's nothing wrong in wanting a bad situation to go away, but it has and did, this woman's death doesn't make it 'more' over.
As I said previously, I was the victim of a crime that I don't wish to talk about here, but it left me physically very injured and I lost a pregnancy. I was very bitter and angry and full of hate. Ultimately, the only person suffering because of those feelings was me. You cant live a happy life holding that kind of hatred. That's why I think the OP would benefit from counselling to let this go.