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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have realised I have an irrational dislike of some names for family members

179 replies

darkequinoxlight · 25/12/2015 21:11

Nan
Nanna
Great Nan
Aunty
Mom

I realise it's irrational (and if you use any of the above, please don't take offence.)

But does anyone else hate the 'sound' of them? Xmas Blush

OP posts:
MetalMidget · 26/12/2015 20:32

I (like everyone else I know from my area in the West Midlands) uses mom for our mothers and nan for grandmothers. When I think about it, all my aunties are auntie too! :D

The nan thing is quite handy though, as child number 1 is on the way - husband is Northern, so his parents can be gran and granddad, and my mom can be nan! It used to confuse me when I was little and I'd read stories with nannies that weren't actually nans...

TaliZorah · 26/12/2015 20:39

Kerala I know no one who has a nanny, and most people I know have 2 working parents.

It isn't a common thing

mudandmayhem01 · 26/12/2015 20:44

My friend has 4 children, she is a doctor, having a nanny was far the cheapest childcare option for her ( they call their grandmother nana and their nanny by the her name, no glitch in the matrix occurred!)

KERALA1 · 26/12/2015 20:47

Not common for you maybe. Is common for others. About a third of my nct group had nannies, my sister and 5 families I can think of offhand in my neighbourhood now.

TaliZorah · 26/12/2015 20:50

NCT groups aren't representative though are they? They attract a certain type of middle class clientele.

There's nothing wrong with it but the acting like its normal is a bit weird. I know people from millionaires to sales assistants, none have had nannies

Paddingtonthebear · 26/12/2015 21:03

I dislike nanny/nan/nanna, and grampy. Mam is not used at all where I live but I appreciate it's a regional word

WhyDoesGastonBark · 26/12/2015 21:09

Oh I hate Grandma or Grandmother, what do you call your parents mother then if you don't like Nan or Nanny?

Original poster
darkequinoxlight · 26/12/2015 21:11

Oh, mine are all long dead.

OP posts:
RiverTam · 26/12/2015 21:12

I've never known anyone call the GM nanny, though XH called his nan. And nannies (as in childcare) are just another childcare option round here, usually as a nanny-share.

Both DD's GMs are grandma, by their own choice. Mine were both granny. i do find it odd when people say Grandma (or Nan or whatever) Surname, not first name. Weirdly impersonal.

What I can't bear is adults referring to their parents as mummy and daddy. Except if they're Irish. Somehow it sounds fine if you're Irish. Ludicrous otherwise.

Also referring to anyone, but especially children, as 'pet'.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2015 22:20

Why would your 6 year old son know?
My 6 year old wouldn't know that people had paid help unless I told him

Because he had a nanny ? And 2 grandmothers who were not his nanny?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2015 22:24

Kerala I know no one who has a nanny, and most people I know have 2 working parents.

It isn't a common thing.

Maybe you lead a sheltered life too. It really isn't that odd.

KERALA1 · 26/12/2015 22:49

Oh for crying out loud! You do not know people who have nannies. I do. So FOR ME it seems quite common / normal. Why does that mean I live a sheltered life?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2015 22:54

Kerala sorry, my post wasn't intended to be directed at you but to Tali sorry I got the name wrong.

I was told I must have led a sheltered life because I had never heard "nanny" being used to mean grandmother.

Clawdy · 26/12/2015 22:55

What's wrong with Nana? Variations of it seem to occur in several other languages - Nonna, Nanni, Nain, Nona etc.

PuntasticUsername · 26/12/2015 22:56

I know one family with a full-time nanny - the mum works long hours (lawyer) and the dad is in the Forces and away a lot, so with one school-age and one pre-school child it's the best option for them.

They always seem rather embarrassed when talking about the fact that they have a nanny, as if they're expecting people to take the piss or think they're giving themselves airs or something.

I can't understand why anyone would care that much about other people's totally unexceptional childcare arrangements but as mn shows us on a daily basis, there is always someone ready to judge...

ceeveebee · 26/12/2015 22:57

I agree it's not unusual to employ a nanny if you live in London where childcare is ridiculously expensive and commutes are longer - almost every one of my friends who went back to work had a nanny, if not straight away then once they had 2 children -for example it would have cost me £85 per day per child to put my twin in nursery and have to collect them at 6pm, which is not possible, so a nanny was cheaper and more flexible. However I've now relocated to Manchester, where nursery is half the price and nannies seem a lot less usual around here!

ceeveebee · 26/12/2015 22:58

*twins

BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley · 26/12/2015 23:03

Can't stand Mam, it sounds really coarse to me. I hate the slow creep of the American Mom into common English usage although i realise it's traditional in some regional areas.

I also dislike Nan and Nanny, can tolerate Nanna but much prefer Grandma.

Aunty is ok, Aunt sounds too formal and old fashioned. Most people I know these days just call their aunts by their first names.

Laquila · 26/12/2015 23:05

This thread is eye-opening. It never really occurred to me that anyone looked down on the use of names such as these (do you call them honorifics? Not sure).

I have two grandmas and a grandad when I was growing up, and now my son has a nana and grandad, a grampy and grandma, and an omi and opi (Dutch/German usage). I thought all that was perfectly normal/run of the mill! Maybe not the omi and opi.

FWIW, i.e., rock all, my mum (my son's nana) is v middle-class. Her working-class family used nana, grandma and grandad, and I don't think any of those names were considered posher than the others.

Also, I genuinely had no idea that people looked down on "auntie"! What the hell else do you say? Aunt?! That sounds so incredibly formal to me.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2015 23:08

Oh I hate Grandma or Grandmother, what do you call your parents mother then if you don't like Nan or Nanny?

If you were employing a person who has a chilcare qualification to come to your house /live in your house and only looks after your children what would you call that person?

Whatsername24 · 26/12/2015 23:13

Mom is just American and YANBU on that one.

No it's not Mrsmorton, it's widely used in the West Midlands. My kids call me that, and it's what I've always called my mother.

hazelnutlatte · 26/12/2015 23:20

My dd goes to a childminder who also minds her grandchildren. They all call her nanny. I've never thought this was confusing before but think some on this thread might implode if they met her!

BackforGood · 26/12/2015 23:33

Surely most of these are just regional though?

Mom and Nan are used by most people where I live. (Midlands)
Mam is used a lot in Wales and in Northern Ireland (and poss NE??)
Etc.Etc

Can't see why it would bother anyone, even if they prefer to use something else.

jorahmormont · 27/12/2015 00:01

Lass Surely you'd just call them by their name?

fredericofoofoo · 27/12/2015 00:04

From the Midlands so I am a Mom - (really irks me and DC that we can never find a Mom card so get a Mum one and join up the u)

I do not know of anybody who has a nanny (as in childminder) but growing up I had a Nan and Grandad on both sides so Nan and Grandad S or my side and Nan and Grandad B for DH parents. Also had plenty of aunties (pronounced aaarntiies not antis).

Maybe its a Brummie thing?