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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want contagious children at our house?

59 replies

seastargirl · 23/12/2015 21:42

Family due to come round for Christmas day and there children have both got croup, one in hospital with it last week, the other in hospital last night. We looked at nhs direct which says it's ready contagious.

We've said that we'd rather not have them round for Christmas day as we have a 1 year old and 2 year old, (2 year old was prem and had severe respiratory distress at birth and had been hospitalized with a few chest infections). We offered to do Christmas another day when all healthy.

It's caused a big hoo ha and most the family aren't talking to us because we've ruined Christmas.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but just wanted other views.

OP posts:
Original poster
seastargirl · 23/12/2015 21:43

*their children!

OP posts:
Gailplattsmissingchin · 23/12/2015 21:44

Yanbu, given your circumstances and the fact that it's croup, not a daft wee cold.
Let your family moan, enjoy Christmas Day just the (4?) of you!

KatharinaRosalie · 23/12/2015 21:45

YANBU, croup is nasty.

Littlemissjt · 23/12/2015 21:46

Not unreasonable at all. I can understand they are maybe annoyed as they've no Christmas dinner organised but you'd think they'd feel the same if it was your dc who were ill. Try not to take offence at their reaction and have a nice time with your dc.

nancy75 · 23/12/2015 21:47

You are not being unreasonable, if their children are ill it is rude to spread the germs around and do their poor kids even feel well enough to be out visiting people?

Original poster
seastargirl · 23/12/2015 21:50

Phew, I was starting to wonder if I was really being unreasonable.

I'm certainly seeing brighter side, I've halved my cleaning list (certainly not doing the oven now!) and am now picturing Christmas day evening as PJ's and prosecco rather than brewing up and serving mince pies!

I've actually offered to divide everything up so that no one needs to go shopping, but that's been declined.

OP posts:
nancy75 · 23/12/2015 21:53

They can probably still go shopping now, lots of the big supermarkets are open all night and they are certainly open tomorrow!
Your family need to accept that this goes with having kids, if they are ill it's not polite to drag them around making other people Ill and sometimes you do have to just miss out on things

knobblyknee · 23/12/2015 21:54

YANBU - you do NOT want a 1 and 2 yo with croup. Arent some people selfish! Shock

Littleredhouse · 23/12/2015 22:00

Def not unreasonable! They're being quite selfish to expose your kids to illness, and you've offered to share out the food so you've gone above and beyond in my view...

VagueIdeas · 23/12/2015 22:00

I can't believe they're even considering bringing their sick kids to you. Croup is nasty.

Purplehonesty · 23/12/2015 22:02

Oh no don't let them in!

Close the curtains and hide if they come round. Very selfish of them to even consider coming and then to say you have ruined Christmas is just beyond belief!!

Aeroflotgirl · 23/12/2015 22:09

Yanbu at all. You have totally valid reasons, they should hav the empathy to respect that. Very selfish of them. It's not a cold! Your child coukd get very sick even hospitalised if they get it. Put your kids first. If I were them I would be disappointed inside, but tell you that it's ok will do it another time.

Lindy2 · 23/12/2015 22:11

You are not being unreasonable at all. Their kids are sick so they need to stay home.
Earlier this year we had to ask a family member to stay away from a lunch gathering at our house as it was highly likely 2 of her children were about to get chicken pox. They were not happy with us at all and were adamant that the children would have come down with it already if they were going to get it. As it turned out they were contagious and did get chicken pox the next day. Some people may think we were unreasonable as the children didn't have any spots when we had the lunch. We were happy with our decision to put our children's health above a social event.
Enjoy your Christmas together.

ArcticCactus · 23/12/2015 22:15

Yanbu at all. The only people we know who live near us have little kids - it's perfectly routine for one of us to ring up and say "little un has a fever, can't do tomorrow, lets rearrange."

Croup is really nasty. Stick to your guns on this one.

CFSsucks · 23/12/2015 22:20

Wow YANBU, I wouldn't want any contagious illness around my children on pupose, let alone something like croup. Your relatives are selfish and just annoyed that they now have to put some thought and effort into doing Christmas.

Original poster
seastargirl · 23/12/2015 22:24

I'm so glad I put this on, I can stop feeling guilty and just enjoy our Christmas.

Arctic cactus, I'm the same with nct friends we advise of all illnesses so people can decide what they want to do. I'd never impose my germs on other people knowingly.

OP posts:
LittleMissGreen · 23/12/2015 22:25

If my kids had croup I'd want them snuggled up at home, not out and about having to be nice!

zzzzz · 23/12/2015 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottgirl · 23/12/2015 22:26

YANBU.

xmasseason · 23/12/2015 22:28

YANBU

Youarentkiddingme · 23/12/2015 22:31

Blimey anyone that thinks taking a child with croup to someone's house is BU. Especially someone with young children of which one has respiratory problems.
That's a lovely gesture divvying up the food.

notenoughbottle · 23/12/2015 22:32

Yanbu but i didn't realise croup was infectious! My son was hospitalised yearly, sometimes several times, with croup and never passed it onto either his older brother, younger sister or cousin when they were in close contact with him. I would be more concerned for the poor child whose parents want to drag him out. My son suffered it so badly he couldn't breathe properly and was on oxygen at times!

Original poster
seastargirl · 23/12/2015 22:38

I didn't realise it was contagious either. It was only because the hospital said that as one child had it, the other would likely catch it which is exactly what has happened.

OP posts:
usernamesandgingerbreads · 23/12/2015 22:41

Given their child has just been really poorly and in hospital why would they want to pass that risk on to another small child not to mention drag their own poorly children out.

Yanbu

RoseWithoutAThorn · 23/12/2015 22:45

YANBU. They should have more sense than to expect to go to anyone's house when their children have croup. How selfish of them.

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