To not want contagious children at our house?

[seastargirl]

Family due to come round for Christmas day and there children have both got croup, one in hospital with it last week, the other in hospital last night. We looked at nhs direct which says it's ready contagious.

We've said that we'd rather not have them round for Christmas day as we have a 1 year old and 2 year old, (2 year old was prem and had severe respiratory distress at birth and had been hospitalized with a few chest infections). We offered to do Christmas another day when all healthy.

It's caused a big hoo ha and most the family aren't talking to us because we've ruined Christmas.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but just wanted other views.

I wouldn't have even considered taking mine out when they had croup, they were just miserable - let alone inflict them on anyone else. YANBU and if they don't want to be sensible nor accept your offer to split dinner, well, all the more for you!

YANBU. Let them stew.

I was told scarlet fever couldn't be caught by toddlers as they still had maternal immunities, when my eldest had it. Was told it's a school age problem. I'd had it myself when 8 or so, and was still bf my dd so knew she was definitely in the clear, so was slightly startled when friends coming to visit decided not to come after all, as they has a 2 year old. I thought they were being pfb.

DD caught it and was very unwell. The out-of-hours GP advised me wrongly. Toddlers can and do catch it, and the friend's child could also have been really poorly because I was wrongly informed. All I could think was, thank God the mother in question had either been very cautious, or looked up her own (better) info.

I had no clue croup was infectious until this thread. (No clue pneumonia was until 3 weeks ago, which is unfortunate as DD had it a couple of months back. Can only hope she didn't infect anyone.)

Despite this catalogue of accidental attempts to infect others, I can't get my head around parents who know their kid has something nasty and very contagious, and don't voluntarily keep away. It's very basic consideration for the kids, never mind you and your DP/DH.

YANBU, and they sound poor friends.

YANBU. My 1 year old recently had (pretty mild) croup and it was awful.

We had to cancel plans with family today as DD had a mild vomiting bug. No way am I going to let her pass it to other kids just before Christmas.

Also... How do so few people realise croup is contagious? it's caused by a virus like most other childhood infections.

I didn't know croup itself was infectious but to be fair none of mine ever suffered from it.

How on earth are your relatives justifying their strop?

Surely the conversation should've just gone
"Jimmy and Jonny have croup and been in hospital"
"Oh dear, it's catching and you know we have 2 babies, one of which is vulnerable to respiratory issues."

"Yes, that's right. We're disappointed but we'll cancel. Don't want to spread it!"

That's how normal folk would've reacted to you

Yanbu OP.

My daughter had whooping cough as a baby. The doctor told me that whooping cough is still pretty rife, but it presents more like croup in kids who have been immunised, so it often gets misdiagnosed.

Whether that's correct or not I don't know, but if it is then you definitely don't want your dc getting whooping cough either!

If these children were stepchildren, would it be ok to not let them set foot in the house?

YANBU

I'm not even going to type anything more about it. It's not even a question. They should've been phoning you to cancel.

Yes. I think that's about the only time it is acceptable to say/do that - if you can quarantine a sick kid from peers, then you should. Would with siblings who usually lived together, too, if possible - if one were returning from a holiday, for example.

Classic literary example, Toms Midnight Garden.

Tom is sent away to stay with his aunt and uncle to avoid getting his brothers measles.

What's your point mascara?

tiredvommachine Well I think that if the OP was talking about not wanting her stepchildren to come during Christmas because they have Croup and would therefore pass it on to her children, she would get told off on here for it.

Step children or not, they should not be visiting when they have a very contagious illness.

OP, YANBU. Your family are incredibly selfish to want to make your children extremely ill and potentially hospitalised just because they want to fill their bellies with a turkey dinner. Twats.

Oh, well that's refreshing

mascara reading my post back, I sound a bit snippy.
Wasn't my intention

It's fine

YANBU at all!!
However since ds1 had croup pretty bad several times, I've been told numerous times that croup is a simple virus that is coming out as 'croup' to certain children with certain vulnerabilities/environmental allergies. If the immune was stronger it wouldn't come out as croup... If that makes sense
Since this year we've done some stuff to address ds1's immune, he hasn't got it for a while
Just wanted to put it out there for anyone affected by it...

You shouldn't have to think twice - abs neither should they. Bloody dimwits. They gave no regard for your children, so sod them! Enjoy your Christmas without them.

*have, not gave

My babies have had croup, I didn't realise it was contagious either.

You are totally not being unreasonable. I've just had house guests this past weekend including children with a bad cold/cough...now DH is sick and sleeping in the spare room due to relentless coughing, my throat is suspiciously achy, the 1 year old is producing foul snot and i'm sure by xmas day the 4 yr old will be sick too. It's our first time off together as a family for 3 months and it's christmas!

If i'd have been warned I'd have postponed the visit and we're just pissed off with the timing without the medically serious complications you could face.

Very bad form not to keep these bugs to yourself.