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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry that MIL will die on Christmas Day.

103 replies

fadingfast · 22/12/2015 13:43

She is terminally ill and at a guess has 2-3 weeks left at the most. We're trying to carry on as normal for the sake of the DCs but it is beginning to really panic me about what we do if she dies on Christmas Day. I know it sounds ridiculous in the bigger scheme of things but I'm the sort of person who needs to plan ahead and we just can't do that. I'm terrified that their every future Christmas might be scarred by their Grandmother's death.

Sorry for the depressing thread Sad

OP posts:
Maladicta · 25/12/2015 19:25

So sorry fading, thinking of you and your family x

Original poster
fadingfast · 25/12/2015 19:27

Thank you cosmo and condolences to your family too. Such a shit time of year for it to happen.

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 25/12/2015 19:28

I think not telling them today is a good idea, especially as they don't know how poorly she was....it would be such a shock.

3littlebadgers · 25/12/2015 19:32

Oh fading, I am so sorry Flowers I know you were so scared of this happening today. All her pain has ended and she is at peace. I hope your family's journey over the next few days, weeks and months goes as smoothly as it can and your sadness be eased x

Jb291 · 25/12/2015 19:32

I'm so sorry Fading.

cosmobrown · 25/12/2015 19:32

yeah. we have dh's mother here with us, and she's really upset and concerned for her ds who lives abroad.
I hope your dh and family are ok. Flowers with deepest sympathy. xx

Youarentkiddingme · 25/12/2015 19:32

I'm so sorry fading and fading DH.

ouryve · 25/12/2015 19:38

I'm so sorry, fading Flowers

bimandbam · 25/12/2015 19:38

So sorry for your loss. But am happy for your dp he was there and glad she is pain free.

My lovely mil died on mothering sunday a few years ago. It is a sad/happy day in this house. Dp and the dcs still spoil me and I have a lovely day but our thoughts are very much on her even though the date changes yearly.

But actually you might take comfort from it in years to come as the pain gets easier to bear and it's nice to be together at sad times.

I hope your dp is ok.

LikeADivil · 25/12/2015 19:45

Very sorry for your loss. Flowers

Original poster
fadingfast · 25/12/2015 19:46

We all went to see her yesterday and the DCs knew that she was very poorly and wouldn't be with us for much longer, so I'm hoping it won't be too much of a shock for them. But dreading having to tell them.

OP posts:
ssd · 25/12/2015 19:50

thinking of you all Thanks

ssd · 25/12/2015 19:51

and the same to cosmo, too.

Goingtobeawesome · 25/12/2015 19:55

Condolences to you and your family cosmo. Flowers.

lougle · 25/12/2015 20:19

Peace to you and your families, fading and cosmo.Flowers

Blondiemama · 25/12/2015 20:22

I'm glad that you all saw her and that your DH was with her but I'm so sorry that this has happened today for you. Sending you lots of love

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 25/12/2015 20:26

So sorry about sad news fading and cosmo too. My deepest sympathies Flowers

A friend of my lost both of her grandmas on different Christmas Days (what are the odds) and she said it was sad for her as a child because she is an only child and they were her friends but as she always felt somehow they were with her on this day, every year.

Remembering those who are no longer with us is part of any big celebration so please don't think the children will be scarred.
Again, I'm so sorry. Wishing you peace and strength

GinIsTheBestChristmasSpirit · 25/12/2015 20:28

Condolences to you all Thanks

HemanOrSheRa · 25/12/2015 20:31

I'm so sorry fading and Cosmo. Much love to you all Flowers.

Penfold007 · 25/12/2015 20:46

OP having spent all day in A&E with my poorly dad please accept a hug from me. DC's & DH have been amazing, apparently a sandwich Christmas dinner is fine. Thank you Penfold family.

ImtheChristmasCarcass · 26/12/2015 07:47

I'm so sorry. My condolences to you all for your loss.

lorneylou · 26/12/2015 10:39

Fading, I was thinking of you yesterday, so sorry for your loss. And Cosmo too Flowers. Thoughts are with you both.

cosmobrown · 26/12/2015 10:47

Thank you. Fading - how are you all? Much love and strength to all your family.
MIL flying out to be with her sister today. She was going to go after Christmas anyway, but we have found a flight for her today instead. That will help I think to know aunty has a family member with her.

At least they are not in pain anymore fading. And can be with us forever now.

Topseyt · 26/12/2015 11:14

Si sorry to hear that, fading. Flowers for you and your family.

Sorry I an useless with words for these things, but didn't want to read and run.

theresnoonequitelikegrandma · 26/12/2015 11:32

So sorry for your loss. Flowers to you and your family and a special Christmas Star for your MIL.

This was our first Christmas without my mother and I went out on Christmas Eve to look at the stars. Not generally a 'soppy' person but I felt sure that there was a new star up there this year.....

Be kind to yourselves x