To be surprised to hear that most children don't get their parents a Christmas present?

[Mitfordhons]

I have three dc's who are all in their early to mid teens, during a chat recently they told me that none of their friends buy or make their parents anything for Christmas. Mine have been doing this since they were very young. When they were very little in 5/6 they'd either make something or I'd take them to a pound shop to buy something for me & Dh and both sets of grandparent then gradually as they got older they'd use their pocket money. In November they start saving and might do some extra jobs to earn money.

They children themselves were shocked and we're all astonished that their friends will happily receive a huge pile of presents from famiky but not even think to give something in return. All three are just as excited to see how everyone likes their presents as they are to get some. I can't help feel that this is in part why some many children have such an entitled attitude.

If it all comes from FC then children can't thank the giver.

I think your right OP....but I have to admit that mine are 3 and 5 and I haven't taken them shopping for my husband and I as intended this year. I did get them to make cards for relatives (which we still need to mail). I am just so bloody knackered this year - between fall/winter illnesses, work, various commitments.....I just haven't gotten to it and feel now too exhausted to contemplate dragging them through a busy store

Maybe they can make some cookies for my husband.....(head on table emoticon).

DD's school PTA runs a 'presents for parents' event the week before they break up.

They get donations (not sure where from) of toiletries, chocolates, stationery etc and each child can take in £1.50 (used to be £1) and choose a gift for a parent/carer/relative.

The older kids help the little ones to wrap their gifts and write the labels - is really lovely.

Mehitabel what makes them grabby and materialistic is the massive focus on volume of presents.

My 4 year old asked for a toy hedgehog, my 8 year old asked for new shin pads and indoor football boots, and my 10 year old asked for "any art supplies" ... not really grabby despite me not shoving them into pound land and demanding they buy me some old rubbish because I'm worth it/ its not about them/ they'd better buy something or other to experience the joy of giving.

I like the random things my kids make me or DH or PIL (like the phone case DD made me out of loom bands because my old one looked shabby, or the specific peanut bar DS came home from school with for DH because the village shop next to school had them and he knows DH loves them but the shops rarely seem to have any in). I don't think buying reams of stuff for the sake of ticking the Christmas giving box makes people less grabby - in fact the opposite.

I take my children to buy daddy a present and they get presents for their grandparents (chose tins of shortbread this year) and each other. I pay at the moment as they are still fairly young but I think it is important they learn to give as well as recieve.

I'm totally with Schwabi. I don't want Xmas to be all about the gifts, and I don't want stuff for the sake of having stuff. DH and I really don't need anything now. I do a small stocking for all of us so DC don't wonder why Santa neglected the adults, but for DH and me it is useful stuff that we would buy anyway (socks, pants, showergel) so not a waste of money.
This is our first Xmas where I have two children, so my eldest (5) was taken to the shops and asked what he'd like to get his baby sister - I said it needed to be something small. He enjoyed choosing and wrapping it. He said he wanted to spend all his money on her. That did war my heart. We really have enough. She has gotten him something useful and needed (craft kit) and I think I will encourage a small token gift between them as they grow, but not for them to be laiden down with the pressure of finding gifts for all our relatives. When they are old enough to earn their own money, then it's up to them. I've pared our recipient giftlist right down and I think it makes for a stress-free Xmas. No adults we know need or want anything from us other than our company.
I'm aiming to be more minimalist.

*warm

Agree with above posters the ones with more are the most grabby.

My DM would help my dc buy/make something for me/dh, when they were little.
of course they have always bought for us

my dd has a friend whose family dont, and she is shocked about it. her friend, aged 16 with younger siblings never buy anything for each others birthdays, let alone christmas. which dd always finds surprising.
christmas is about the giving, for all of the family, we all love to give.

I let dd(5) choose presents for dh and the gps. They end up with some odd stuff sometimes but she is proud of her choices.

Eldest dd is nearly 8 and is autistic. She has tidied her room, the living room, put all the children's washing away and sorted her drawers for us this morning. I appreciate that much more than letting her buy stuff from my own money.

I have been to 2 school Christmas fêtes, in recent years. They both had "Secret Rooms" - classrooms taken over for the purpose - where you send the kids in with £1 - £2, and they buy a small gift for their parents.

My little brother went into one of them. He got upset in the evening, and my mum asked him what was wrong. He said he was upset because he'd seen something in there for me, and he hadn't bought it, as he thought you were only allowed to buy for your mum or your dad...My mum took him to the shops, to buy me it instead