Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To ask about maternity leave?

111 replies

Nicebucket · 22/12/2015 03:41

I am probably being unreasonable not to know this, but I've been wondering.

I know that UK allows one year maternity leave, but is it possible to take only 3 months or even less? Would employers force somebody to take more? I work in banking btw and literally every woman in my office took the entire year off.

Please no judgement and no patronising comments about how I will change when I have a baby and want to take a longer leave. Just practical, honest answers!

OP posts:

HeadDreamer · 22/12/2015 15:57

Unless you have someone doing nights, or that you have a really good sleeping baby, you might find it very hard to work 100% because of sleep deprivation.

I went back at 7mo the first time, and took a full year the second time round. I felt so much better.

Funinthesun15 · 22/12/2015 15:57

Its better for the baby if you take the year off. Actually its better if the primary carer looks after them for the first three years, because that helps prevent separation anxiety

Of course all babies are the same aren't they.....

SpanglesGalloway · 22/12/2015 16:00

My mum took 6 weeks off as that's all she got any payment for. Didn't affect me or DS at all...I'm having 10m as with annual leave this will mean ill be getting some payment (a pittance) but whatever suits you individually and no one should judge!

HeadDreamer · 22/12/2015 16:02

And definitely factor in time off when they are ill from nursery. Younger babies can have it much worse. If the father is at home with them, ofc it won't be an issue. Same with having a nanny. Tbh, if you can afford it, a nanny is a god sent. I have a 4 and 1 yo and I wish I can afford one. Mornings will be so much easier if I can just wave them good bye from the house, instead of trying to get them dressed and ready for childminder/nursery.

90sforever · 22/12/2015 16:07

Nice bucket it's not obligatory (or even that common IMe) to take a year. It's the maximum. Most people seem to take 9/10 months. How can anyone force you to stay at home? You're overthinking it. Don't worry x

I had 5 months off. Childcare will
Need to be sorted ASAP but aside from that you won't have any issues

knobblyknee · 22/12/2015 16:09

Of course all babies are the same aren't they.....
Plus 101 other snotty comments.

There is child development and developmental stages versus societies demands. Can no one else understand that?
Stop confusing them.
Stop pretending I confused them.

We 'should' be putting the kids and parents needs first. But society doesnt and we cant fucking afford to. We have to put our financial situation first. No one else thinks that sucks? Only me? Really?

60sname · 22/12/2015 16:12

Piss off knobbyknee

BeanCalledPickle · 22/12/2015 16:13

If you are paid by your employer for twenty weeks you may find that you can't go back before that. I'm paid for six months and I've been off eight now as I had a lot of accrued leave so am not allowed to return before that. There simply isn't a mechanism by which I could return before then even if I wanted to. Your employer may take the view that they don't want a new mum back at work any earlier. It may normally be viewed as a good thing for you that you are paid for 20 weeks but your employer may simply not want you back before then for their own reasons.

I think that your best bet would be to see how you feel when you get there. I simply would not have been able to function at work on the three or four hours sleep I was getting before she turned six months. I would have found myself facing disciplinary action!

Frazzled2207 · 22/12/2015 16:18

If you are paid for 20weeks I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to stay off for at least that time! I had two terrible sleepers and was exhausted for months.

Thurlow · 22/12/2015 16:28

As long as you've taken the few weeks after birth that the law requires you to take, you can do whatever you want with the rest of the time - take it, or don't take it.

However, it might be best not to plan this beforehand. There are a million things that can change during pregnancy, during the birth, once your baby is here. It's best to keep an open mind. Some women will plan to be off for 3 months and then realise they do want to take the full 12 months, other women will plan to take 12 months and then want to go back after 4.

The main thing is not to say anything to your employer during your pregnancy as regards any planned return date. Just tell them what they have to know by law (I can't remember how much off the top of my head) so you have flexibility to decide what's best once your baby is here.

superking · 22/12/2015 16:29

OP I think you are wrong in saying that your employers just have to give you "some" job when you return. I believe that if you return at or before six months they have to return you to your exact role. If you take longer than that then they can move you to another role, but it has to be equivalent to your previous one (eg pay, hours, type of work).

So you could take the full 20 weeks if you wanted to, without having to worry about losing yor current role.

PipersOrange · 22/12/2015 16:30

I was at university so slightly difference but I went back to full time (30h a week) lectures 4 days after giving birth. Carried baby in a sling and fed on demand in lectures and tutorials under a scarf

Could you keep up to date with work techniques at home on may leave? I found university work broke up the Boredom very effectively, I was incredibly lost with what to Do with myself when I graduated!

FatimaLovesBread · 22/12/2015 16:43

Spent ages writing a reply and then lost it but superking has now said what I was going to say.

Also you don't have to give notice of return date at 25 weeks, only when you intend to start maternity leave. They have to assume you will be taking 52 weeks until you give them 8 weeks notice otherwise.

Agree with some of the others that I'd at least take 20 weeks

Lightbulbon · 22/12/2015 20:16

some child development theorists believe parents mums shouldn't work til a DC is 3 the misogynists. But others disagree.

Child development and attachment aren't that simplistic and black and white.

Being out at work during the day isn't the same as being totally separated from the caregiver (eg death/residential care) which was what most attachment theories were based on.

Op you have to factor in time off before your due date- I didn't feel fit to work after 35 weeks and your employer can force you to start may leave early if you are off sick. Plus only 5% of babies are born on their due dates, with firstborns often over 41 weeks so that can add an extra 6 weeks of leave on.

BlueStringPudding · 22/12/2015 20:38

I only took 3 months off with my first 2 DC as that was all that was paid at the time, and I couldn't afford to do anything else. I wouldn't recommend it though - as it was really tough.

I think they have to keep your specific role open whilst you are off on OML (Ordinary Maternity Leave). That was 6 months when I had my third DC, 9 years ago, (and I insisted then on returning to the same role, not an 'equivalent role') and I think is now 9 months - so I think you could have 9 months off and return to exactly the same role (unless there is some kind of restructuring whilst you are on Maternity Leave.)

Littlef00t · 22/12/2015 20:45

Double check your employment rights, others are right that they have to give you your old job back up to 6 months, so don't stress yourself out by trying to return before then if you don't have to financially.

LittleBearPad · 22/12/2015 20:50

During ordinary maternity leave (6 month) you get your old job back. In additional maternity leave (months 7-12) they gave to give you an equivalent role. Don't stress now. It'll sort itself out at the time.

museumum · 22/12/2015 20:50

Yes. I'm pretty sure your exact job must be kept open 9 months (unless redundancy in which case you're first choice for other positions) and then it's equivalent job for twelve months.

Figmentofmyimagination · 22/12/2015 20:54

You don't mention a partner - have you looked at the new shared parental leave regime? It has it's pitfalls but it might suit you. There is a new free web portal designed by the charities maternity action and working lives called SPLash with some good guidance about how it works, faqs etc.

Figmentofmyimagination · 22/12/2015 20:56

The shared parental leave portal I mentioned in my post is here: www.yesslaw.org.uk/sharedleave/about-us/

AndNowItsSeven · 22/12/2015 21:01

Why bother having a baby when your career clearly comes first?

GreenPetal94 · 22/12/2015 21:04

The difficulty of telling employer you want 3 months off is that you can legally change you mind and only need to give one months notice of that usually. So you can't rely on them believing they only need to keep your current post open for 3 months. I'd personally be tempted to state you will return at the date which matches to the full pay leave limit as it sounds much more believable to your employer.

If you are good at your job they may well aim to keep it open for you. My pal in banking managed to keep her post through 2 maternity leaves whilst colleagues were being laid off. She spent all her 30s saying she couldn't ever have a baby in her career, but ultimately regretted not trying for a baby at a younger age.

Lightbulbon · 22/12/2015 21:04

Any why bother typing when all you can spew is bile?

BumWad · 22/12/2015 21:13

No judging from me but i really could not see myself going back to work at 3 months. The sleepless nights, constant feeding. The baby is still so teeny tiny then. How old are you? Is your career that important? I think you would regret going back to work that early. Especially as you will be getting paid. Seems rather daft.

DS is 7 months and luckily I won't be going back to work until he's 14 months and that will be part time. I am dreading going back to work already.

Original poster

Nicebucket · 22/12/2015 21:18

Yes, my career is that important. I've worked my arse off for many years to get where I am and I love my job. Being good at what I do gives me a rush and it's something I do for ME.

I don't think we cease to exist as individuals when we become parents. If I'm miserable, I won't make a child happy either.

I hate staying home and the idea of a six month leave from work is suffocating,

Tbh, we were hypothetically discussing having a baby. I'm not pregnant, and not even sure I ever want to be

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread