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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband's attitude

109 replies

HappyGirlNow · 21/12/2015 22:46

I was on the train coming home from a work night out.

Last 3 times (over last couple of weeks) I have had to get the train home there have been no taxis in the rank and if I've tried to book one its at least 20 minutes wait. I've eventually got one after standing for 15-20 minutes in the cold. It's Scotland so not freezing but colder than the rest of the UK.

So I called my husband on the way home tonight and asked him to pick me up. Train station is 5 minutes from our home. He said no and for me to just get a taxi as he'd have to put our dogs away to come and get me. He seemed to think it was funny saying no to me (as if I'd find it a joke too). He knows the rank hasn't been populated last times I've tried to get a taxi and I've had problems.

I did manage to get a taxi after 10 minutes tonight (unusually quick). But AIBU to feel hurt that he wouldn't inconvenience himself for 10 minutes to just come and get me?! It doesn't really make me feel warm towards him!

OP posts:

DoreenLethal · 22/12/2015 08:19

What is the point of being in a relationship if you don't do things for each other?

OP - you need to rethink the things you do for him now. Couldn't be bothered to put the dogs away [in crates perhaps] to pick up his wife = lazy fucking [not funny] bastard.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 22/12/2015 08:43

It was mean of him and the problem is now you're weighing up what you did for him during the day. That sort of tit-for-tat balancing of contributions is never a happy place to be.

Alicewasinwonderland · 22/12/2015 08:47

wow, the spirit of Christmas, good will and loving partners is astonishing sometimes.

I wouldn't pick you up (or expect pick up) if I had a baby or very young child. Otherwise, of course I would! I don't even see how that would be inconvenient, I love being picked up from the station when it's cold and miserable.

Sorry OP your husband was in a funny mood

Original poster

HappyGirlNow · 22/12/2015 09:52

Thanks all! He is a very good husband normally. Though he does seem to like me to get taxis rather than pick me up from places though which is the opposite to what I'd like..

But I don't really mind getting a taxi if one as available, I just don't want to wait around in the cold, hoping one will appear..

I did feel hurt last night though. I felt uncared for. This is why I posted here - sense check to see if I was over-reacting. Particularly after a few glasses of Prosecco

When I checked my phone this morning I did have a missed call from him from last night (was on silent) presumably to check I'd got a taxi ok.

Anyway I've discussed with him this morning. He said I'd mentioned getting a taxi home as he was dropping me off at the station (I don't remember this but knowing his vague lack of enthusiasm at picking me up its possible) but I still don't think this is an excuse for not coming for me when I asked. I'd have done it for him. Anyway, he's said that going forward lets just agree that he'll pick me up at the station any time I am getting the train home.

Thanks again all. Appreciate all the viewpoints.

OP posts:

harshbuttrue1980 · 22/12/2015 09:53

How would you have got home if you were single?? You had a lovely night out without your husband, and he had a lovely night in without you. Why should he have to leave the cosy house to go and pick you up? He was probably sitting in his jammies enjoying a film. Its a bit selfish and princessy to expect him to get you just because you can't be bothered to do what everyone else does and wait 10 minutes for a taxi. Put a pair of flat shoes in your bag and walk home, book a taxi in advance, or don't drink and take the car, and let him enjoy his cosy night in in peace.

clam · 22/12/2015 09:57

"How would you have got home if you were single??"

"Why should he have to leave the cosy house to go and pick you up?"

Well, isn't it ironic that the second sentence might well, in some circumstances, indirectly lead to the first.

Original poster

HappyGirlNow · 22/12/2015 09:58

You must have a fantastic relationship harsh if that's your expectations fine, but they're not mine and not how I act in my marriage. It was blowing a gale here last night, cold and wet, and I'd already had the force of the weather on the night out itself...

OP posts:

munkisocks · 22/12/2015 09:59

I'd pick you up too. I'm picking my dh up xmas eve after he's gone for a drink with work. I've picked him up at midnight before and that's after putting sleeping 5 month old in car. She sleeps through and I'd be waiting up for him anyway.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 22/12/2015 10:00

I've read this thread in utter utter amazement at how twattish MN is becoming.

munkisocks · 22/12/2015 10:00

And we also have a dog that has to be put away to come out.

whois · 22/12/2015 10:03

But I don't really mind getting a taxi if one as available, I just don't want to wait around in the cold, hoping one will appear.

When you get on the train, pre-book a cab to be waiting for you at the station. I never rely on taxi ranks at small stations.

Original poster

HappyGirlNow · 22/12/2015 10:10

Yes whois would do that again if I had to... Not used to having to get a taxi like this, it's travel situ at the moment and I didn't have it sussed.. Kind of thought a taxi rank would mean taxis at train arrival times otherwise what's the point...

OP posts:

BarbarianMum · 22/12/2015 10:21

I wouldn't have got the kids out of bed to collect dh in anything less than a blizzard. In OP's situation I'd have come out, though a 10 min wait for a taxi sounds quite reasonable too.

Original poster

HappyGirlNow · 22/12/2015 10:26

I didn't know it would only be 10 mins though barbarianmum - this is when one appeared.. It's been longer.. I've tried to get one by calling one but there have never been any that could arrive within 20/25 mins, I get the feeling they don't want to divert their taxis in case a rank one turns up first and you go with that instead.. but that could be me being overly cynical..

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 22/12/2015 10:30

"Anyway, he's said that going forward lets just agree that he'll pick me up at the station any time I am getting the train home."
Glad to hear that HappyGirlNow.

Casperthefriendlyspook · 22/12/2015 10:40

OP you're in Dunfermline, aren't you? Uphill walk, no parking, no taxis.... I feel your pain.
I feel very spoiled, but my mother came out for me last Thursday when I was in this situation, to save DP getting the kids out of bed. I'd been at a work function, I have a very bad back, and it's really dark the way I'd have to walk. Couldn't even get a taxi firm to pick up.
I will seriously be down on my knees, kissing that Tarmac the day the FRB reopens.

Ratarse · 22/12/2015 10:44

There are some horrible, selfish people on here.

ImperialBlether · 22/12/2015 10:46

"A 5 min car journey, is a twenty minute ish walk. Possibly. Can you let us know why you can't walk?"

When I see posts like this, I absolutely despair of MN.

Funinthesun15 · 22/12/2015 10:46

There are some horrible, selfish people on here

You know everyone personally do you?

There are some very judgemental people on here

Casperthefriendlyspook · 22/12/2015 10:48

But... In 'Christmas Miracle' related news. Bridge reopens tomorrow!!!

Original poster

HappyGirlNow · 22/12/2015 10:51

Ha, yes Casper , I am! Bloody Dunfermline Town train station... And you're right, surrounding areas very dark and not the best, never mind the gradient

It's a god awful nightmare isn't it! I've been getting the 6:30am train to work as at leat then I know I'll get parked. Train itself is a nightmare though getting a bit quieter now.

Not used to all this taxi rank business... Surely if taxi companies are given the right to pick up at a rank they have an obligation to actually man it?

Roads so bad too... My husband's business, most of their work is Edinburgh, the vans take 4-5 hours to travel back and forth a day... Took me 2 1/2 hours to drive to Whitburn for a long-standing appointment the other night, Clackmannanshire bridge at a standstill..

Anyway, I'll also be ecstatic when the bridge reopens my stress levels will plummet! Let's hope it's running to schedule.

OP posts:

Original poster

HappyGirlNow · 22/12/2015 10:53

REALLY Casper ??? off to google!

OP posts:

Original poster

HappyGirlNow · 22/12/2015 11:00

So happy

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-35160296

OP posts:

Dipankrispaneven · 22/12/2015 11:07

You had a lovely night out without your husband, and he had a lovely night in without you. Why should he have to leave the cosy house to go and pick you up?

Because it was cold and dark and she might have had to wait 25 minutes for a taxi? Because it's what people who care for each other do for each other? Or don't you do nice things for each other in your house, harshbuttrue?

ImperialBlether · 22/12/2015 11:09

Actually he had a lovely night out, too, with his friends, but was home before her. Harshbuttrue - sometimes you are just harsh.

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