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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's attitude

109 replies

HappyGirlNow · 21/12/2015 22:46

I was on the train coming home from a work night out.

Last 3 times (over last couple of weeks) I have had to get the train home there have been no taxis in the rank and if I've tried to book one its at least 20 minutes wait. I've eventually got one after standing for 15-20 minutes in the cold. It's Scotland so not freezing but colder than the rest of the UK.

So I called my husband on the way home tonight and asked him to pick me up. Train station is 5 minutes from our home. He said no and for me to just get a taxi as he'd have to put our dogs away to come and get me. He seemed to think it was funny saying no to me (as if I'd find it a joke too). He knows the rank hasn't been populated last times I've tried to get a taxi and I've had problems.

I did manage to get a taxi after 10 minutes tonight (unusually quick). But AIBU to feel hurt that he wouldn't inconvenience himself for 10 minutes to just come and get me?! It doesn't really make me feel warm towards him!

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 22/12/2015 02:08

That sucks. :( Angry

I have, before now, phoned DH from the train at around 8pm to collect me from the station, because it's dark, there are some louts on the train, and I don't want to walk home on my own in the dark. It's no more than a 15min walk but down unlit streets; he had to put DS in the car to come and do it but he did it, without complaint.

I can't believe your DH thought his reaction was in any way funny or fair.

PatrickPolarBear · 22/12/2015 02:13

Depends on where you're walking. 10:30 at night in safe suburban area, no big deal as you can walk if you don't want to wait for a taxi. 10:30 at night in dodgy city area or on an isolated country road then, no, YANBU. It's not like you have kids and he is stuck in the house with them after bedtime so no big deal for him to nip out and pick you up!

PegsPigs · 22/12/2015 02:25

My DH has called me (pre kids) at 2+am to pick him up because it was raining and he couldn't get a taxi after a night out. I'd rather pick him up than make him suffer in bad weather. He returned the favour in plenty of other ways. That's what partners do. YANBU.

Room101isWhereIUsedToLive · 22/12/2015 02:39

YANBU, the fact he seemed to find it funny makes it worse too.

Original poster
HappyGirlNow · 22/12/2015 02:41

Thanks all. So most folk think I am not being unreasonable, that's good to know. My husband is very good to me in other ways, I just felt hurt at this and funny about it and wasn't sure if I was in the wrong or not.

OP posts:
BlueMoonRising · 22/12/2015 02:42

5 minutes at 60mph = 5 miles
5 minutes at 30mph = 2.5 miles.

I'd like to see someone walk those distances in 15 minutes!

Op, yanbu. He is being a twat.

WanderingNotLost · 22/12/2015 02:44

Well, heaven forfend he should disturb the dogs on your behalf!

mathanxiety · 22/12/2015 02:55

Depending on the speed limit, a five minute car trip could easily take 40 minutes.

OP your H is an arse and I hope he got to sleep in the doghouse with his precious dogs tonight.

raisin3cookies · 22/12/2015 03:09

I have done and would do again, but if it's past bedtime I don't risk my children's sleep unless it's an emergency.

DancingDinosaur · 22/12/2015 03:14

Yeah of course he's being mean. It doesn't sound like a great hardship to me and families should want to help eachother out.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 22/12/2015 03:40

Yanbu, he should have wanted to pick you up.

knobblyknee · 22/12/2015 04:38

YANBU Its much safer for you partner to come get you. Does he not think of that?

Fratelli · 22/12/2015 07:19

Yanbu. I wouldn't leave my dp waiting alone in the cold and dark. That's really mean of him.

Kelsoooo · 22/12/2015 07:27

It's a six minute car journey from mine to my work, and it takes me 40 minutes to walk it - the main stretch of road is a dual carriageway..... so yeah what OP is saying makes sense.

returns to RTFT

IrishDad79 · 22/12/2015 07:33

I'm gobsmacked at the people who pack sleeping kids into a car to save their other half a taxi fare. I know what sort of reaction I'd get from oh if I rang her up looking for a lift home and it wouldn't be pleasant.

hesterton · 22/12/2015 07:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IrishDad79 · 22/12/2015 07:38

Although in this case, the op's husband was being a dick.

whois · 22/12/2015 07:42

I think ha should have picked you up if it really would have only been a 10/15 min round trip.

However I would get into the habit of pre-booking a taxi to meet you off the train.

PhoenixReisling · 22/12/2015 07:48

Yep, your DH was a twat....and I would be pissed off!

His excuse....I would have to put the dogs out. Translates to me that he couldn't be arsed!

I agree with PP about MN at the mo especially on this section!

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal · 22/12/2015 07:51

I think you're being very precious.

If you wanted him to come pick you up then you should have agreed with him earlier in the day.

You can't ask someone a favour and then get arse ache when they say no - especially when all you have to do is wait a few bloody minutes for a cab!

EvaBING · 22/12/2015 07:52

So he couldn't leave the dogs alone?
But he could leave you out in the cold?

An interesting specimen.

Allgunsblazing · 22/12/2015 07:54

OP, YANBU. I would be very hurt by his attitude. Seems like somewhere along the way he lost sight of the fact he's not caring towards you. Please don't let him become more selfish and disregarding towards you.

WizzardHat · 22/12/2015 08:00

The dogs are more important than his wife? I'd be pretty unimpressed with that, OP.

GnomeDePlume · 22/12/2015 08:01

YANBU

Picking you up would have been a kind thing to do. The type of thing partners do for each other because being kind to each other is part of why you are partners.

This isnt about some sort of hugely contractual thing between strangers.

PitPatKitKat · 22/12/2015 08:06

^this.

Partners are supposed to give one another special treatment. A marriage, done well, is a relationship that transforms both your lives for the better, not a contract for a series of transactions to be negotiated fiercely.