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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to wonder if this is typical London?

160 replies

teeththief · 20/12/2015 23:16

I recently went to London with my 8 year old. We were on the tubes and an employee appeared on the tube with a man who was obviously blind. The employee asked loudly if anyone was willing to give up their seat for the man. The only person who didn't look away and stood up immediately giving their seat away was my 8 year old! Is this normal behaviour in London or did we just hit a bad time?

OP posts:

antimatter · 21/12/2015 08:25

My friends and family who come to visit me in London comment that often when waiting for me at the station exit to be picked up holding printed up map of the area (just in case) always at least one person comes to them asking if they are lost and offering help.
This happened several times and IMHO shows that people here do care and are helpful.

sotiredofthis1 · 21/12/2015 08:32

teenage european tourists.
Were they British, or from another European country?

Lweji

AllTheToastIsGone · 21/12/2015 08:46

It's variable but I do find that whenever I get on the tube with DS 2 who doesn't do buggies and walks around in reins everyone jumps up to let us sit down.

Obviously the mumsnet controversy over whether little kids should be allowed to sit down or not isn't shared by off peak tube travellers.

Travelling pregnant at rush hour was more variable.

blaeberry · 21/12/2015 08:54

We went to London in the autumn and spent a week travelling round by tube. I don't think my children had to stand once - they were always offered seats even in rush hour! I am sure that our experience wasn't wholly representative and there are plenty of rude Londoners too.

DeoGratias · 21/12/2015 09:00

Most of us leap from seats for the blind, old people with sticks, pregnant women and the like all the time. People are like that on the tube.

blaeberry · 21/12/2015 09:01

antimatter I found it very hard to get my kids yo try and work out the journey at the station as every time we approach the map someone would offer to help...

florentina1 · 21/12/2015 09:19

I am fit lady of 70. I travel frequently on the tube and am offered a seat all the time. Usually I try to avoid eye contact or stand away from the seats as I do not mind standing. People have got up from their seats further away or sent messages via a passenger closer to offer me a seat.

When I travel with a suitcase I am helped up and down stairs. I find most travellers in London very kind.

catfordbetty · 21/12/2015 09:21

I've lived in London all my adult life. I don't think tube passengers are especially good, or bad, at offering their seat to others in need. I've probably seen courteous and selfish behaviour in equal measure. I don't think the OP should generalise from the incident she witnessed but, likewise, the posters who think that the London Underground is a shining example of decent and selfless conduct are talking through their collective hats.

megletthesecond · 21/12/2015 09:29

I don't think it's typical.

Last time we went a teenager in hoodie and headphones kindly offered his seat to one of my standing dc's.

Lweji · 21/12/2015 09:31

In busy public transport it's likely that at least one commuter will be nice. There will be many others who are not. It's statistics. :)
Sometimes you get none and sometimes you get a few.
It only takes about 10% being nice for someone to be offered a seat in most trips.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 21/12/2015 09:39

I can see why you got that impression OP, that wasn't good. But no, I've never seen this, and most of us fight to give a pregnant woman etc a seat. No way would a request to help a blind person be ignored. Sorry you witnessed that.

futureme · 21/12/2015 09:44

It used to happen a fair bit to me when I was quite obviously pregnant. I rarely got help offered with a buggy (scoured for step free routes and then used a sling!).

I don't recognise all the superhelpful comments at all. Normally everyone is staring into their books/phones and not even aware to be honest.

I've often stood up though.

Doublebubblebubble · 21/12/2015 09:46

Definitely a bad Time. I'm on mat leave atm but I usually take an overground train and tube 2 x a day for the commute to work The ONLY time I haven't given up my seat was when I was using crutches and a offered to give up her seat another man ended up standing up because obviously he didn't want the pregnant woman to lose her seat. I've never seen anyone not offer their seat for someone obviously in need.

Doublebubblebubble · 21/12/2015 09:51

*pregnant woman offered...

bigbuttons · 21/12/2015 10:03

Londoners are usually brilliant.

BackInTheRealWorld · 21/12/2015 10:53

Right I hate myself for asking this, but how did the blind mn know she had to beg for a seat?

Ha, that reminds me of when my dh (who was blind) was travelling on a train and asked out loud if anyone was sitting in a particular seat. As no one responded he then sat down after assuming it was vacant. It wasn't....

Brilliant!

PeasinPod1 · 21/12/2015 11:00

Sadly becoming more typical. I'm not trying to compare being pregnant to blind in the slightest , but I am currently pregnant, wearing my badge and with obvious bump and near every day the entire carriage just ignores me, despite many looking up seeing me and doing nothing.

Was pregnant 2 years ago and it was much better then.

BlueJug · 21/12/2015 11:06

I was eight weeks on crutches and NEVER once got on a tube or bus without being offered a seat. People are great.

PeasinPod1 · 21/12/2015 11:09

I am on SW Trains into Waterloo though. Times I've been on tube people much nicer. Horrible attitude on the overground though.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/12/2015 11:19

Surely it is nonsense to dismiss the experiences of a blind person on the Tube as "Just as valid as everyone else"?

And I really doubt that a black person's experience of racism would be dismissed as, "Just as valid as the average white person's".

If you are living with a disability then you have far more knowledge of the implications for everyday life than the casual observer. It is incredibly arrogant for anyone else to assume otherwise.

I am disabled with visible mobility problems and lived in London thirty years ago. It was incredibly rare for me to be offered a seat on public transport and there was no priority seating then. Really hope things have improved

OnlyLovers · 21/12/2015 11:34

I've lived in London over a decade and no it isn't typical. Do you generally judge entire places with a population of millions by one tiny incident?

Shutthatdoor · 21/12/2015 11:39

London is no better or worse than any other place in the UK.

cleaty · 21/12/2015 11:52

I agree Tinkly. That MNer will have a much better idea of the realities than a casual observer.

ghostspirit · 21/12/2015 11:54

not train but bus... when pregnant on bus i almost fainted. got offered a seat then..

i often get offered a seat when i have baby in the baby carrier. but if hes in buggy. i dont often get offered a seat, with being pregnant. thats mostly ok though. but sometimes on way home from work i have been in so much pain and almost crying. thats when i could do with a seat.

does it also depend on the day and time? people seem tired and grumpy on a monday morning

Flumplet · 21/12/2015 12:06

Must have been a bad time, we visited London last year with ds in a push chair and we were offered help on the escalators at every station and a seat on every train, which was well beyond our expectations.

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