Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

Aibu to wonder if this is typical London?

160 replies

teeththief · 20/12/2015 23:16

I recently went to London with my 8 year old. We were on the tubes and an employee appeared on the tube with a man who was obviously blind. The employee asked loudly if anyone was willing to give up their seat for the man. The only person who didn't look away and stood up immediately giving their seat away was my 8 year old! Is this normal behaviour in London or did we just hit a bad time?

OP posts:

MidniteScribbler · 21/12/2015 02:49

I do think the tube employee went about things the wrong way. There are priority seating in each train, so they would have been better approaching the people sitting in those seats first and asking if they needed them. Targetting one or two people seems to get a better response than a general announcement (which usually sends people trying to avoid eye contact with anyone else).

DancingDinosaur · 21/12/2015 03:52

Right I hate myself for asking this, but how did the blind mn know she had to beg for a seat?

Ha, that reminds me of when my dh (who was blind) was travelling on a train and asked out loud if anyone was sitting in a particular seat. As no one responded he then sat down after assuming it was vacant. It wasn't....

90sforever · 21/12/2015 04:13

There isn't really such thing as "London" is there? Just people. Same as anywhere. I am massively pregnanct, sometimes people give me a seat sometimes they ignore me.

Strawclutching · 21/12/2015 05:40

I holiday in London once a year and find Londoners incredibly polite and generous and at least once a day see a lovely act of kindness. I've had people carry my suitcases all the way from the mainline station to the tube (even though they were getting on), holding doors open, checking I'm ok (when I was upset about something).

I find it an incredibly friendly city and s brilliant place to holiday. (I'm not part of the tourist board- honest!)

AngieBolen · 21/12/2015 06:26

I've always found tube travellers to be very polite. The tube is the only place I've been offered a seat. No idea if those people were Londoners or passers through like me, though.

I don't think Londoners are any ruder than anyone else, tbh.

sotiredofthis1 · 21/12/2015 06:54

Something else happened to make me think London was rubbish but I also had something positive happen help wise.

I don't think visitors are in a position to judge London and it certainly isn't rubbish (or anywhere) unless they have actually lived there for a while, though I understand the emotional reaction.

Narp · 21/12/2015 06:54

Most of the other people on the Tube were probably tourists

Dungandbother · 21/12/2015 07:24

Commuters (mostly in rush hour but people work all shifts so any time of day really) are always zoned out. Headphones, books or paper. Just the daily boring grind of commuting makes them a bit dopey at best of times. Now smart phones too mean nobody takes any notice of what's going on around them.

I don't think the city or place makes a blind bit of difference. It could have been NY or Rome or Bognor.

I used to yell for a seat when pregnant because those with seats couldn't see me for those standing.

And last week I happened to make eye contact with a tourist with a map. I groaned a bit..... But stopped to help. His young son was tired out and he wanted to get somewhere for a bus route to their hotel. I walked them the 8 minute complicated walk myself. Missed my train in the interim.

If you ask for happy London stories then you would be blown away by the responses.

lastqueenofscotland · 21/12/2015 07:24

Not typical. I was on a rammed tube once, and it got stuck in a tunnel and I blacked out, I can't eve imagine the sort of manoeuvr required to get me to a seat but someone carried me, then got me off the next stop so the staff could help.

I'll always give up a seat if someone asks - I've been aggressively told off by older people and once mistook someone for being pregnant..... So I do tend to wait until I'm asked. I also don't necessesarily scan the whole carriage to check!

Lweji · 21/12/2015 07:31

What MidniteScribbler said.
People in reserved seats should have been asked first.
Most people probably expected them to give up their seats too.

And, from many arguments on MN, some probably also thought the 8 year old should stand up. Sigh.

theycallmemellojello · 21/12/2015 07:33

Yes I do think people shouldn't be afraid to ask for a seat- it's not rude or aggressive or shaming at all. I always offer my seat to someone who looks to be in need - but I've also mistakenly offered to someone who wasn't pregnant (and must have realised I thought she was) more than once. Have never been shouted at but received a curt no thank you each time and felt shit as i probably made the other person feel bad. So now I spend journeys anxiously staring at random women's tummies not sure if I am being a bitch for not offering my seat, or would be a bitch to offer.... I usually get up and pretend to look at the map in the vestibule as a compromise! Those baby on board badges make things much easier, but my point is that if people don't spontaneously offer a seat it may be because they're nervous about it.

AppleSetsSail · 21/12/2015 07:33

Plausible deniability of any knowledge of pregnant/disabled people in the car?

I live in London and use public transport semi-regularly (once a week, perhaps) and I have never seen such callous behaviour.

StealthPolarBear · 21/12/2015 07:36

I once had a heavily pregnant woman standing by my seat. She didn't want to sit down, I offered and tried to insist. I then felt like people were judging me :)
I travel in London a lot. Don't tend to ask questions on the tube itself but in general find Londonerd friendly and helpful

theycallmemellojello · 21/12/2015 07:38

Plausible deniability of any knowledge of pregnant/disabled people in the car?. Eh, in the rush hour you can't see a thing apart from the people squashed in immediately in front of you. Of course you wouldn't be aware of every person.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 21/12/2015 07:44

Personally I would have called my child to come to me and give up their seat.

Your child got their before anyone else. No one else needed to give up their seat. I'm not entirely sure what the problem is.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 21/12/2015 07:44

Got there Aaagggh!

Winifredgoose · 21/12/2015 07:49

Not typical at all. I have once seen it with an elderly man(who desperately needed to sit down) , but the people not giving up their seat were teenage european tourists.

UndramaticPause · 21/12/2015 07:49

Normal in my experience. I walk with crutches and last time I was in London not one person offered me their seat so I had to stand the whole time

Lweji · 21/12/2015 07:55

teenage european tourists.
Were they British, or from another European country?

scarlets · 21/12/2015 07:58

I lived in London when I was pregnant for the first time, and invariably got offered a seat.

SevenOfNineTrue · 21/12/2015 08:04

That is not normal behaviour for London. In all my years here, I have never failed to see someone give up a chair if asked.

KathyBeale · 21/12/2015 08:05

It was a weekend when this happened, right? I agree that visitors to London are the rudest while those of us who commute in every day are more helpful.

StealthPolarBear, when I was pregnant first time my son wedged his feet into my ribs (he was a very long baby) at about 25 weeks. By the time I was approaching mat leave it was so uncomfortable that I couldn't sit down for long - the pain made me sick. So when I got on the tube in the evening I would kind of hang off the poles you hold on to, in an attempt to stretch my torso out and shift him down. When people offered me a seat I would explain loudly why I didn't want one so everyone knew I wasn't being ignored!

KERALA1 · 21/12/2015 08:15

I was on crutches whilst heavily pregnant (bad spd) then occasionally took buggy on tube. There were too many acts of kindness to mention. At top of stairs people would pick up bottom of buggy without even saying anything help me down the stairs then quickly walk off.

Paris metro on the hand you were on your own

Pidapie · 21/12/2015 08:16

Every time I'm in London, people tend to be very good at giving up seats, so I think you might just have been on a bad train!

MerryMarigold · 21/12/2015 08:24

I'd say it's 50:50 tbh. Dh said the other day someone v old got on with one of those push trolley things as he couldn't walk well, and no one gave up their seat. He did get on at rush hour, which probably wasn't wise, but maybe he had an appointment somewhere. Dh was already standing. When I was pg, it was very haphazard if I got a seat, and yes, I did look VERY pregnant (twins).

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7