To not give my sister her Xmas present?!

[carelesswhisper27]

My sister is the youngest in our family and is 19.

This year she has said she 'cannot afford' to buy anyone Christmas presents and therefore does not expect any in return - which I suspect is not true. She earns usually about £300 a week (self employed MUA), lives at home, pays my dad £20 a week and has no other outgoings that we were aware of- mum still pays her phone bill. We were all a bit wondering where her money has gone but have still all bought her gifts of course.

However it's now come to light she did have the money and has spent roughly £600 on herself this week on... Wait for it.... Lip injections, her hair being cut, coloured and a weave put in her hair.

I know you don't give to receive but I can't believe she's been so selfish! I've had a few choice messages from her because I questioned her and now I'm wondering - am I just being a miserable old fart or is she being breathtakingly selfish and self absorbed?!!?

I think it doesn't help that you dislike her so much, OP.

I'm guessing if it were anyone else you wouldn't have texted them pretending you misunderstood a perfectly clear message and neither would you have posted a catalogue of their misdemeanours to back up your position.

I like your plan to give pressie to your other sis but still buy her something little. Perhaps a make up item she'd like? A cheap one!

I think you're fine to tell her what you think. I think siblings can get away with being honest with each other. She's always going to be family and it's in everyone's interest that she grows up. She's not going to do that if you all indulge her.

I'd speak to her nicely to ask her to get something for your df. Remind her that he does a lot for her and it would be nice of her to thank him by getting him a nice gift. That should be more of a priority than her hair.

You're still withholding something you said to her, that exchange still doesn't quite fit.

I've shared every message I sent to her, I took off the first part of hers (the long one) as it was very identifying as I've already said

So zen, you think the OP should be telling another adult who she should be buying presents for? In what way is that going to improve the situation? x

YANBU. I don't think anyone should get her anything.

The cynical 95% of me thinks she issued the 'no giving or receiving' instruction in the belief you'd all feel sorry for her and buy her gifts anyway

Give her an Oxfam goat

(and let us know how that works out).

DO NOT GIVE HER A PRESENT

Unless is it one mini choc lolly pop (Like ONE taken out a 4 pack)

or an oxfam goat

She could have kept 30 quid back and bought chocs out the pound shop and done babysitting vouchers or something.

We are going out tonight with a friend who has more disposable income than us all put together and yet year after year would buy us utter pish. Like a note book that was from a multi pack from the pound shop. She gets lifts everywhere and never ever offers petrol money/to buy a drink to say thanks.

Last 2 years she has opted out of Christmas gifts in our circle of friends. She always says "aww where is mine?" when we exchange gifts and we remind her that she opted out...hence why she has none for us!

You get some people who will never put the same effort in. There is so much online these days about how to make cheap presents etc. If she is chosing to opt out then respect that. Her choice!

She sounds like hard work. I'd give her the present I'd already bought (probably. If money was tight, which it often has been for us, I'd return it for the refund, tbh) but make a mental note not to reward her selfishness any more afterwards. Until she showed signs of being less of a brat (and a theif) it'd be token gifts only for her.

How did it work out OP? Hope you had a lovely Christmas/

She's a teenager I was selfish when I was 19.

Sorry I just remembered this thread. Little sister dropped £300 on mac makeup on Xmas eve - suppose you could say it's for work, but not sure it was necessary to blow so much right before Xmas, and she could have bought token gifts.

I gave her the gift in the end - felt too Scrooge like not to. However next year if she does the same I certainly won't! Hope you all had a lovely day!