To be fuming over DD missing out attendance prize

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

DD has had 1.5 hours time off after she was physically sick in school despite telling them do not give her eggs as she has a food tolerance to egg. She is fine with things containing eggs but when having whole egg her stomach can't cope with it making her vomit I. Which the school did for a food tasting lesson.

So because of there mistake DD didn't have 100% attendance, hence missing out the prize.

It is such bollocks ... it just seems to be indoctrinating children into the idea that you go into work when you are seriously ill, like a good docile worker drone.

Well we weren't having a discussion where you had to disagree with me. I was addressing the OP and you decided to butt in. Again though you are wrong in that you don't actually know the reason that every single school gives out prizes do you? So you can't provide any proof to back up that I am lying.

I also didn't give a view for you to disagree with so I am not sure if your psychic is perhaps a little confused?

And I got my view of your life from the arrogance and tone of your post, no psychic involved. Not quite sure what I was interrupting though since it was you that posted about me and I was responding.

Fucks sake this threads got really aggy hasn't it.
Did I really see someone day attendance threads piss her off? You for real?

Op I don't think your Bu, it's a ridiculous reward system.

Nooo what I meant to say is, did I see someone say attendance threads make her sick

I commented on a post you had made on a discussion site. That is how the site works. If you didn't want others to see and comment, you should have sent a private message. Besides, all I said was that I didn't think it was such a great idea. It was hardly a comment to get so worked up over.

No, I don't know every reason why schools give out prizes but it isn't because some of the parents forget to say well done. You can carry on arguing that point if you wish but I won't be joining you.

You were the one who offered not to interrupt my life. I was simply thanking you for the offer.

You did give a view for me to disagree with. You gave the view that the OP should lie to her child. I disagreed with that.

There is no tone or arrogance in any of my posts beyond what you choose to read into them.

You said you had disagreed with my views. I said I hadn't given a view for you to disagree with, not that I was expecting to have a personal conversation. I didn't give a view, I gave a suggestion. I'm also aware of how the site works. You believe that I was telling her to lie, I don't. I'm not inventing the tone and arrogance either whether that was intentional or not. It doesn't come across well.

Anyway I'm going to bed so you can carry on without me if you wish.

Has anyone moaning about attendance awards complained to the head teacher about it? Schools generally take parent feedback seriously.

I have not moaned on this thread jelly but when our school introduced 'attendance bingo' I wrote a letter to the head saying:
It was a prize for the best immune system
It teaches children to come to school sick
It is not fair on those with long term illness, including a child with severe allergies that the school itself has had to send letters home about ffs.
It teaches children that you can be rewarded arbitrarily and undervalues rewards.
It does not deter parents that are just being lazy.
It is counterproductive setting off more illness.

He grabbed me in the playground and said 'The government is pushing hard on attendance and your dd has 100% right now anyway so don't worry about it.' Hardly overwhelming caring.

It is one prize out of many. People may think I us entirely down to luck, but it's not entirely.

How often on here do we see people saying "oh have a duvet day" or similar.

I have 3 dc. 2 have enough medical appointments to guarantee that they'll never get it.
Dd1 has had 100% attendance since year 3. She's year 10 now.
Has she never been ill?. Of course she has. Has she gone into school contagious? Not with anything worse than a cold.
So it's ab easy award for her? Actually, no she does put the effort in.
She was at school with toothache for 5 days last winter. She's gone onto school for an hour before coming out for a music exam when most children would have made the most of the free hour, she finished the day at school when she twisted her ankle badly and school were offering to send her home and many other things like that.
Yes, there's luck in not getting anything that totally wipes you out, but there is an element of choice. And she'll never get an art award or a sporting colours (if schools still do that) and most people would think I was barking if I complained they shouldn't be awarded because it's not fair on those who were not lucky enough to be nor with talent in those.
Her school doesn't generally do attendance awards anyway.

YANBU. Attendance awards are ridiculous. Attendance is often down to luck, not effort.
You might as well reward a child for having blue eyes.

Thanks to this thread I have remembered why I avoid MN fight club AIBU.

steak I've got no problem with anyone moaning about attendance awards, just think we need to be moaning to the right people for anything to change.

I think they are unfair and ultimately pointless as children generally aren't the ones that make the decision whether to go to school or not.

Ofsted look at whether parental concerns are responded to (as well as attendance) so put it in writing and the school should take notice, especially if lots of parents complain.

steak are they still doing the awards?

YANBU op. I really don't think attendance awards are comparable to other awards eg sporting, art, esp at primary level. Those awards are for talent and hard work - those on the football team etc may be lucky enough to be good at football but they are on the team due to hard work and commitment. Dd wins cross country awards because she puts time and energy into it.

Attendance awards reward luck, good immune system and parents who push ill dc into school. If some children only get attendance awards, then that shows a complete lack of imagination on the part of the school. Could they not praise them for some thing they have actually achieved for themselves? Perhaps for trying hard in maths despite finding it tough, for always being polite, for being caring. There are plenty of things that can be rewarded which are not to do with having a talent.

I do hate attendance awards. I have one dc who never has and never will get one and one who regularly gets them. Let me tell you about dd. She has 3 conditions she has to see consultants for and dyspraxia. In her primary school they decided in their wisdom that a good idea was to reward the class with the best attendance every half term or so. Dds class never won. The children weren't stupid, they knew why. Dd has chronic psoriasis and at that time was really covered head to toe, and was already bullied about that. Her class then decided it was all her fault they never got the treat so basically called her a leper, wouldn't go near her, called her all the names under the sun due to her disease. She was so upset. And then to compound her sadness at being bullied she was told she wasn't good enough because a/ she lost her class the treat and b/ she never got an attendance award herself. She didn't get other awards either at that school.

Yes, this is an eg of a school that got it spectacularly wrong but in every school she's been in the whole attendance thing has been pushed in similar ways. She learned not to care; I did similarly to the op and cared for her in her pain and taught her they didn't matter (it was harder for her to understand with SN. ) her secondary is fab and we don't have any of this any more.

I was never more proud of ds when he came home with an 100% attendance certificate and proceeded to tear it up in front of dd and said this is what he thought of it.

I'm really surprised that you or she care. She wasn't there for 100 per cent of the time, so she didn't get the award.
These awards are rubbish anyway, who in real life gets an award for turning up? In fact most school awards are rubbish and most children see through them- they are there to prove to Ofsted that the school are encouraging the attitudes they want reinforced. How many threads have seen you seen on here where parents complain that their child hasn't had a turn at winning 'child of the week' or whatever ? How many times have you heard complaints that child x won a behaviour award even though they are really badly behaved all the time but managed on one day not to hit anyone? This is the reality of life at school. There are reasons for it, but they are not always immedimmediately aapparent or necessarily effective.
Your daughter is learning about resilience, self motivation and how to deal with the fact that life often isn't fair. You wouldn't want her being motivated by awards/ rewards, you want her being able to make choices for herself and to understand the difference between right and wrong. Just look at this as a basis for discussion with her, about the blanket application of rules, about peoples motivations for decisions, about relying on your own judgement.

She sounds delightful by the way, don't let this cloud your weekend.

Dingdong, high five to your son!

My 7 year old cried for hours when he got a severe tummy bug and realised he wouldn't be going on the class 10 pin bowling trip which was the reward for 100% attendance. (I couldn't take him myself to make up for it, as I'm a skint single mum with no car to get there in.) He was absolutely devastated.

He also missed the previous term cinema trip because of a hospital appointment. It cost me £12 I can ill afford to take him the following week with his brother. He has multiple allergies and will never achieve 100% attendance.

I hate the attendance prize. It causes tears and disappointment every term

The prize shouldn't be anything good - it should be a certificate or a sparkly pencil. Not a trip out. That really sucks

In the schools my dc have been in, things like hard working, being thoughtful, things that the child has a fighting chance of being in control of, are rewarded with a sticker.
The attendance prize is a special assembly, time out of lessons (?), a movie or trip and the opportunity to win an ipad mini.
Why do children deserve a reward for not needing medical treatment, not catching a tummy bug, not having a chronic illness or a disability.
The focus should be on encouraging all dc to do their best.

I don't agree with rewarding 100% attendance, all it means is you have been lucky enough to not get ill enough to require staying off school. Anyone can be unlucky enough to get a stomach bug and need to be off for a day or two within a school year.

I would much rather schools focussed on the parents who kept their children at home for the slightest sniffle every other week, meaning that someone then has to take time to help them catch up.

I can't believe so many people want to send their DC to schools that do this? Unless of course you don't and it's the only school place offered to you?

Making attendance into a competition is just ridiculous as it penalises the DC who are genuinely ill and might encourage parents to send kids in when infectious.

My DS attends a school where all the DC and their parents are very motivated to go in. It's fee paying so each school day would work out as costing around £100 in fees - the last thing anyone wants is to be wasting £100 a day, yet despite this I think there are few DC with 100% attendance!

Many have had chicken pox and been off for a week, including my DS who one year had a week in hospital in plus another 5 or so days for days where he had a high temp and fever. I think our school would laugh at the idea of everyone getting 100% attendance. So if our highly motivated student body can't manage it then I'd conclude its an unrealistic goal.

I'm going to see if I can find our schools attendance figures.

100% attendance rewards are ridiculous. A prize for never having a medical appointment during school hours, never being sick, or having parents who send them to school despite being ill? Far better to reward good attitudes towards learning.

Both my children had to have eye appointments during school hours. They had to take place at the main hospital during set morning surgery times. Even I managed to get an 8.30 time there would be not guarantee that they didn't miss several hours of school.

I have always brushed over the issue with my kids and as they got older had a laugh about it. Yes, it's unfair but not worth getting upset about.

My kids have asthma, they've never had 100% attendance. So makes this system daft.

They are not attending as they can't breathe not because they are bunking off.

Amazing teacher at school always made sure they got (as others in a similar boat) a 100% FANTASTIC certificate when they were handed out.

It's not going to be on their CV in later life is it? I got three 100% attendance certificates at primary school.

As a footnote mother I once knew was so obsessed with 100% attendance she shoved her kids in school regardless of illness to the point of going in at lunchtime to give them Nurofen and/or antibiotics on several occassions. Madness.

When my children were at primary 15 years ago an attendance certificate was handed out to children who had had 100% attendance for a year. It was issued by the LEA. No one remembered about it until the last day of the summer term, it was very low key and always a surprise as the children had no idea themselves if they had been in every day for a year! For the other children it was nothing to get worked up over after congratulating the recipients who numbered no more than about 3 or 4.

Nowadays the schools are more accountable for absenteeism and may feel they have to ramp up the rewards to get higher attendance. The days out and iPod type of rewards are completely out of proportion to the 'achievement' and are a sad indictment of the pressure schools feel under. If awards are handed out every term then obviously more children are getting them and consequently more children are feeling left out. A letter to the governors perhaps if you feel your school makes more of it than necessary.

I challenged the HT over the attendance awards when DS2 was at school.

He's a severe asthmatic and she decided that you had to have a certain attendance percentage to go to the Prom. He didn't make that percentage especially as he'd been off school due to dislocating and breaking his shoulder in 3 places while playing rugby, in the school team, at school.

I contacted the Equality and Human Rights Comission. They told me that schools have to have 2 sets of attendance figures for these things where children with disabilities, SN, and chronic illness are concerned. All absences wrt to their conditions have to be discounted under the reasonable adjustment criteria of the Equality Act.

I wrote to the HT stating this and she wrote back saying she could decide who came to the Prom and use what ever terms she liked. I contacted the EHRC again and they helped me compile a letter saying that if she didn't abide by the law then I would take legal action. Within 48 hours of that letter about 30 kids who hadn't been allowed to go before were invited to the Prom.

I, also, requested to see the attendance register they held for DS2 and found that they had written him in for being off with D&V on 3 or 4 occasions when he'd had asthma attacks or appointments in hospitals. Fortunately I had always emailed the school with the reason he was absent, and kept them, so I had a paper trail. I made sure the registers were changed too.

Attendance awards, where they only award children who've been there 100% of the time are discriminatory. They are against the Equality Act and shouldn't be allowed.