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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming over DD missing out attendance prize

101 replies

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 18/12/2015 20:37

DD has had 1.5 hours time off after she was physically sick in school despite telling them do not give her eggs as she has a food tolerance to egg. She is fine with things containing eggs but when having whole egg her stomach can't cope with it making her vomit I. Which the school did for a food tasting lesson.

So because of there mistake DD didn't have 100% attendance, hence missing out the prize.

OP posts:
SideOfFoot · 18/12/2015 21:26

I like attendance awards, I know so many children who take days off for holidays, whole afternoon for a dentist appointment, whole day for a short appointment, off because a sibling is ill, I could go on, my children don't do any of that so feel they are deserving.

Op, tell the school politely and they might well give her the award, it does seem a little harsh.

I'd definetly question them letting them eat foods they are allergic to, every time they are going to eat anything (other than school dinners) at my child's school, I have to sign a form in consent , and detail any foods she can not eat.

LyndaNotLinda · 18/12/2015 21:29

You had to dip into your savings account to buy your DD a sparkly pencil? Really? Hmm

OFFS - you just say, oh well, never mind, you won Star of the Week this term and got Mrs Keene's special blackboard prefect prize and Ella-Mae Jones didn't get either of those. And hurrah it's the end of term so who cares anyway?

StompyFreckles · 18/12/2015 21:37

I don't consider an attendance certificate / prize as a carrot for going to school. However, if they have been to school every day, and certificates are being awarded for this and they only missed 1.5 hrs at the end of one school day, it seems ridiculous to penalise the child for this.

Hissy · 18/12/2015 21:49

What on earth are you teaching your child if she's upset about this?

You must have a very blessed life if this trivial matter causes upset.

How on earth is it acceptable for you to be dipping into your flaming savings to cheer a child up who has no business being upset by something so ridiculous?

Seriously. Have a word with yourself about teaching your children to manage their expectations, and not to get hung up on something hat is of absolutely no consequence whatsoever.

The only issue YOU need to concern yourself with is the scchool feeding an allergic child eggs, and not listening to her when she told hem either. That is the only part of the story that absolutely needs tackling at the highest level.

itsatrap · 18/12/2015 22:00

At dd''s school 100% attendance is rewarded with the children being allowed to wear non school uniform on the last day of term. Last year dd was off for an afternoon after slipping on spilt water on a climbing frame in the playground, it resulted in her having to have her front teeth removed. Wasn't awarded 100% attendance and so no non school uniform. It's not a massive deal but she was upset, so I'm with you on this one op.

LyndaNotLinda · 18/12/2015 22:05

And if your DD turns up in non-school uniform itsatrap, what do you think they're going to do? Turn her away? Do you think they keep a list on the gate? Do me a favour.

Lots of stuff at school isn't fair. It's not fair that some kids are brilliant at sport and others are shit. It's not fair that some kids are fabulous at English and others struggle to read.

But really, this obsession over attendance which crops up on MN at the end of every single fucking term is bordering on obsessive. Really, just teach your kids not to care.

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2015 22:10

I hate attendance award with a passion.

Then stop giving them head space and encourage your child to stop too.

She's got a long school life ahead of her. It really would be best if she learnt to adopt a don't care attitude.

I don't mean about attendance in general, just about the certificate and prize.

Kids need to learn that as long as they do their very best to attend whenever they actually can, that's 100% good enough.

LyndaNotLinda · 18/12/2015 22:12

This obsession is turning into an obsession? :o

Friday night Wine :o :o

BlackeyedSusan · 18/12/2015 22:13

it can still be an allergy even if it does not lead to anaphalaxis. just as hayfever is an allergic response.

dd has an egg allergy but it does not lead to anaphylaxis. diagnosed as an allergy by a large regional hospital .

TimeToMuskUp · 18/12/2015 22:14

DS1 gets regular migraines and has time off at least once every couple of months for them. No malingering or messing about; there are proper under-neurology-for-treatment migraines. It's a bit shit that because of a condition out of his control he won't get attendance awards. His school takes the children with 100% attendance to Drayton Manor at the end of the school year. He never gets to go. So we take him somewhere fun the weekend before and remind him "we had loads of fun there too at the weekend" and I don't think he gives a toss, really.

I have to admit I don't set much store by attendance figures. Working in a school I often see parents dropping clearly-unwell DCs off at school who are more than likely going to make other children unwell. For me if they're truly too unwell for school, they shouldn't have to be worrying about taking a day off. This whole drive to boost everyone's attendance is unfair. So I agree with Lynda, teach them and yourself not to care.

CheshireChat · 18/12/2015 22:15

People are being really horrible towards an upset 6 year old . She's 6 FGS. You know what OP, we were skint growing up and I still remember my mum buying me some juice and a little notebook because I'd had a bad day. I was 9 and I still remember it vividly.

kslatts · 18/12/2015 22:17

Attendance awards really annoy me, surely when a child is sick they should be at home, if they go into school they will just spread germs around.

CheshireChat · 18/12/2015 22:18

But I agree with teaching them not to care if possible. Best way IMO

itsatrap · 18/12/2015 22:19

Yes, they do have a list and send them away, then they don't 100% attendance next time and then again, no non school uniform Wink

Dipankrispaneven · 18/12/2015 22:23

Can you take this up with the governors? It's really unfair on both your children.

Ipsos · 18/12/2015 22:25

I think attendance prizes are really harmful too. What's the point in penalising poorly kids? As if they don't have enough to deal with.

Muddlewitch · 18/12/2015 22:26

It's Ofsted pressure that makes schools put such an emphasis on attendance, they need to be seen to be doing something.

It does always strike me as silly though, people have no choice or control over illness. The very few parents who are genuinely are not bringing their well kids to school because they don't consider it a priority/important are almost certainly not going to consider making sure their child gets to take part in the attendance treat a priority either so it won't have an impact.

PurpleGreenAvocado · 18/12/2015 22:28

I'd certainly be having a conversation with the school but about them giving her food which she was allergic to, I wouldn't give a monkeys about the attendance prize.

annandale · 18/12/2015 22:29

Sometimes children who will never get anything else awarded to them, who will never achieve stellar or even impressive things academically, in sport or music, get an award just for keeping buggering on and turning up every single day. I think that's fine.

Sometimes it's not about you and it's not about your child. Attendance threads make me sick.

BlueSmarties76 · 18/12/2015 22:29

I don't think you should be focusing on the award but on the quality of the school- they endanger her (albeit in a minor way) by feeding her incorrectly and they have bad enough attendance issues that they need to have attendance prizes (which a PP said is not legal due to disability discrimination, so they may also be breaking the law?)

Sounds like a shit school.

Original poster
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 18/12/2015 22:33

I do have a grip on life thank you. It was £10 but I am skint at the moment and DD was upset about something she had no control over.

If she was told off in school and was upset over it I would say to her well don't it again or ask her how she would feel if another child did that to her.

How do I manage this disappointment.

It never has bothered ds, he hates school alway have since his 1st day.

OP posts:
honkinghaddock · 18/12/2015 22:38

The children most likely not to get any other awards are more likely not to have. 100% attendance because of disability.

Maryz · 18/12/2015 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 18/12/2015 22:42

Annandale I understand that but for example my ds.

He is asd which requires peads appointment , he also got hypotonia and no feet arches so got physio and podiatrist appointment . He diet is poor so under a dietician.

Then he also has SEN in which he has been seen with an educational physiologist and statements which are reviewed every year.

I can not remember the last time he got a certificate and I think due to his asd don't care.

We haven't the time to add hobbies.

OP posts:
Maryz · 18/12/2015 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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