Mother wants to bring a chicken to my vegetarian Christmas dinner

[queenofthepirates]

That's kind of it in a nutshell. We've invited 10 people over for Christmas dinner including my mother. We're veggies and I've put together a lovely Scandi veggie menu. She's told me she's bringing a chicken and I've said please don't. Firstly because we're veggie and I don't really want a dead bird on the table and secondly I can't see why she can't last a few hours without meat.

My relationship with her is very strained this year, she's been pretty horrible to me and I'm getting to the end of my tether.

AIBU to tell her not to bring meat or stay at home? She could always come over after lunch if she's going to insist.

What's 'pathetic' is that a host can't give one of their guests a bit of white meat when that guest had asked if they could have some for their Christmas meal. It's all about making your guests as comfortable as possible and helping them to enjoy the event you're hosting - unless you don't actually like them, that is.

I would even cook liver (oh the smell!) or tripe for my mum if she wanted it and I had tbe chance. I'd even wee on somethings testicles if she wanted.

My veggie niece would not stand for my meat-easting sister bringing meat into her home and my sister would not even think of trying it. OP must stick to her guns about this.

No, she must not stick to her guns about this.

Not if she wants to be a good host and she wants her mum to have a nice time.

If she is aiming for her mum to have a shit time and serve food that a lot of people won't want then yeah, she should stick to her guns.

Interesting. Our veggie friend was more than happy to provide turkey for us a couple of years ago when she invited us for Christmas. It shows there are perfectly reasonable and accommodating vegetarians out there.

Completely agree U2

Prime well yes, it's the company that matters. So if you want to spend time with somebody, why not make sure they are happy and eating the food they like?
The only way I could possibly understand the refusal to compromise (and this is a compromise as OP is not being expected to actually handle the meat) is if your ethics were so strong that you refused to even associate with meat eaters

OK. How about this?

Interesting. Our Orthodox Jewish friend was more than happy to provide prawns for us a couple of years ago when she invited us for Christmas. It shows there are perfectly reasonable and accommodating Jews out there.

What people eat is a personal choice that often has to do with their ethical and religious views. Why is it considered unreasonable and unaccommodating for people to choose vegetarianism but perfectly OK to choose an equally strict and restrictive diet for religious reasons?

I highly doubt any Orthodox Jews would be inviting anyone for christmas dinner.

Why is it considered unreasonable and unaccommodating for people to choose vegetarianism but perfectly OK to choose an equally strict and restrictive diet for religious reasons

I didn't know it was.

Op your squash dinner sounds LUSH! I'd love to try. Cannot believe how rude people are being about it, sheeeesh! Btw I'm not veggie, but prefer veggie food... crimbo for me is all about the parsnips!

Most veggies on here seem to be voting against the veggie chrisymas meal.

Let's face it this is not a question of food more of relationships and respect, you don't respect your mother as you don't like her bringing meat. She doesn't respect you as you are obviously a militant veggie and she knows this or should. Either way this is more deeper than meat or soil it fed on.

Timri even for the most Orthodox of Jews Christmas provides a chance for families to get together - which is the why the sale of kosher turkey goes up in mid-December.

But you can't take meat into a veggie's home without agreement and you ought not to ask for agreement. You can miss meat for a meal withoug suffering any harm.

Agree about parsnips!

I seriously wouldn't give a toss if anyone brought carcass into my house. Id be offended if anyone thought I'd be so precious to get all upset over a poor wee deid sheepy meeeeeehhhhhh.

Of course you can miss meat for a meal without suffering harm - talk about stating the obvious. Whether or not the OP's Mum should have to at Christmas is another matter though - it's all about being a good host and accommodating your guests, and the OP is patently not.

PrivatePike You can have treatment for that

Well, you could I mean, I doubt that Satan Would descend on them.
But tbh, that's why I wouldn't dream of going to Christmas with an Orthodox Jew family, I'm guessing most of their family would be Orthodox Jews as well, so it would be a bit of a non issue surely?

SirChenjin You know the expression My house, my rules. It's like going to somebody else's home and insisting on watching some on the goggle-box that nobody else wants to watch; and in fact everyone else would rather it was switched off. Just bad manners in the guest.

Andrew - you know the saying 'mi casa su casa*? I prefer that one when it comes to entertaining guests - means it's more about them and less about me.

And actually, if any of my guests want to watch telly then I'm quite happy for them to have it on.

'My xxxx, my rules' just sounds so peevy.