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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for living in a shit hole?

130 replies

Cuppaand2biscuits · 17/12/2015 18:57

Posting here for traffic. My house has got into such a mess, literally every surface or corner is cluttered with crap. Not actual rubbish but toys, clothes, junk.
Can someone please help me and tell me where to start? I need a big kick up the bum.

OP posts:
90sforever · 17/12/2015 21:37

Not if you can't park the car, as mentioned above

90sforever · 17/12/2015 21:38

Do you have to pay for dumping househd waste then squoosh? I've lived all over the place and never been charged

Alicewasinwonderland · 17/12/2015 21:40

you could also hire an ebay seller, or at least ask one if they would be interested. Some are very happy to sell low cost items for you.

If you don't have a relative, or friend who would be interested, your local facebook group might be able to direct you.

You could contact someone working for your local refuge: some women arrive with their kids but just the clothes on their back and need everything. My local one does frequent appeal, accepting even second hand bras, they can be desperate.

gailforce1 · 17/12/2015 21:42

Donations to charity shops are down because of e bay, free cycle etc. And even if clothing items go in to their rag bag they still get money for it. So please support a charity shop.

munkisocks · 17/12/2015 21:42

Clothing online collections for charity

www.clothesforcharity.org.uk

squoosh · 17/12/2015 21:44

No idea 90sforever as I don't have a car so never spend time at dumps. I donate to charity shops.

SideOfFoot · 17/12/2015 21:46

hmcReborn, I tried to donate some big items to a local charity that are always appealing for donations, I needed rid of the stuff, it was in very good condition, and they told me that they would take it, but not yet, maybe next month. I gave up and the council took it away.

90sforever · 17/12/2015 21:55

Well then there you go. It's not just the charity shop that's free Wink

Atthebottomofthegarden · 17/12/2015 21:56

Marie Konde's advise is to work through by type, starting with all clothes regardless of where they are in the house, moving onto books, papers and DVDs, then other stuff (probably toys!) Be ruthless, keeping only stuff that "brings you joy" or is useful, books you will definitely re-read (chuck out any you have been intending to read for 6 months or more). Don't keep anything out of guilt - ie unwanted gifts, expensive clothes you liked when you bought them but have never worn. I agree charity shop stuff must go STRAIGHT IN THE CAR - especially toys for obvious reasons!

Atthebottomofthegarden · 17/12/2015 22:01

Personally I do find if I go round after DD is in bed and chuck out all colouring pages / pictures / loom band creations / broken Hama bead things, it looks a whole lot better very quickly. She never notices. I keep the odd one or two if I like them and stick them on the wall.

Garlick · 17/12/2015 22:06

Oooh, IWant, I love your approach! It might even work for me ... a bit Xmas Wink

Methods, routines & systems really set off my inner toddler. I probably have some disorder that's got a name these days, but never mind that. Gently & absently floating by a pile of crap, vaguely sorting some of it en route, stands a better chance.

Thanks!

LadyRivers1 · 17/12/2015 22:17

Right I've been inspired tonight - sorted out the massive pile of clean clothes waiting to be folded, actually folded them and put them away! Cleared the living room floor and sorted a pile of paperwork that was lying beside my couch. Feel better already, it's a baby step but it's a step!

Gwenhwyfar · 17/12/2015 22:59

"That stuff will never find its way to a charity shop"

Speak for yourself 90s, other people manage to take things to the charity shop so why wouldn't OP?? I've never had anything rejected by a charity shop. When I leave a bag there they just say thank you. They may throw it out in the end, but that's not my problem.

Original poster
Cuppaand2biscuits · 17/12/2015 23:00

I am actually a super do gooder and collect other people's unwanteds and take them to my friend who works for a women's refuge so I will pass on stuff. The reason I'm in a mess is because I don't like to throw things away. Tonight I have wrapped presents because my school aged children needed the gifts to give to the teachers tomorrow.
I think given that I am still preparing for Christmas I might just sling everything into boxes and stuff in in the garage to sort after Christmas.

OP posts:
unlucky83 · 17/12/2015 23:01

Another saying just do anything -make a start...sort the clothes out, put the rubbish out....move all the washing up to the kitchen etc
(I wouldn't landfill things -we have a recycling charity you can drop things off with easily - but if you have shed loads of stuff and lots of bits and can afford it maybe hire a mini skip - they are supposed to sort through them after collection - but whilst it is outside stick a sign on it 'if you want anything from here just take it' -depending where you live quite a lot might go! )
Also agree to taking photos of things before dumping -makes letting go easier!
And for Rhino - scan or take a photo of documents -stops the inner debate of whether you will need it again. Call the images something sensible and then you can find them if you need them ... I do that with newsletters etc for DCs activities (and keep them in google keep) -much easier than trying to find a paper copy when you need to double check something...
(I really struggle throwing away paperwork -years ago I had a long overdue tidy up and threw away the rental agreement for somewhere I'd lived for 6 months several years before. The LL was supposed to pay the council tax (it was definitely in the contract!) but they must have been trying to get out of it and blamed the tenants for not paying, said they couldn't contact us etc etc - probably thinking the council would drop it - they didn't. It dragged on for years, went to court, interest, fines etc were added on. Eventually LL got in touch with one of my former flatmates (they always had their details - claimed they had been just trying to save us money Hmm) who 'found' me but we couldn't find the other two flatmates . So 2 of us stumped up the CT plus extras (council did knock some off -because we couldn't pay fines for not showing up in court if we didn't know we were supposed to be there!) but it still cost us a few hundred each - many times what the CT would have been - and that would have been split between 4 not 2 ....and all the time knowing it wasn't even our bill to pay Angry but we had no proof of that...still rankles now when I think of it!)

Gwenhwyfar · 17/12/2015 23:01

"Do you have to pay for dumping househd waste then squoosh? "

Some councils have started charging for coming to get your waste, which has probably led to an increase in fly tipping. As far as I know, I can still drop something at my tip free of charge, but would need a van to big items there.

purplewhale · 17/12/2015 23:04

Don't shred, burn it. Get a chiminea, you'll have it gone in no time. Shredders take hours/days as thy overheat if you don't give them a break. If you burn it, then don't put piles of paper in, it doesn't burn. Scrunch it and throw in the chimney

MartinRohdesBellybuttonFluff · 17/12/2015 23:09

Our local council in Ireland charges us for each pick up and then the bin is weighed and charged accordingly as well, so recycling and donating is part and parcel of what we do as it's cheaper than sending everything to landfill.

Does council tax cover bin collections in the UK if you don't pay separately like us?

squoosh · 17/12/2015 23:12

Yes council tax covers bin collections.

Domino777 · 17/12/2015 23:14

Get the Marie kondo book. It will help you discard a ton of things with ease. Starting with items you are least attached to. Her method has been a life changer for me. I've gone from cluttered chaos to organised clear spaces. Got rid of 2/3 of my stuff in the process.

MartinRohdesBellybuttonFluff · 17/12/2015 23:16

Thanks squoosh Smile (I remember DH and me paying our council tax in North London many moons ago....)

squoosh · 17/12/2015 23:18

I'm Irish (although not in Ireland) so know that people are furious at having to pay for bin collections as well as that new property tax. What do people get for the property tax?!

Domino777 · 17/12/2015 23:19

I bagged my stuff up for friends, charity shops, selling (face book), the tip, rag collectors. Each day I'd get rid of a few bags

MartinRohdesBellybuttonFluff · 17/12/2015 23:27

We get to try and undervalue our properties so we don't have to pay as much Grin

Gwenhwyfar · 17/12/2015 23:32

"I didn't feel that I could lug big heavy bags of donations from car parks often several hundred metres away to the charity shop. "

You can put the bags inside a big wheelly suitcase.