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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for living in a shit hole?

130 replies

Cuppaand2biscuits · 17/12/2015 18:57

Posting here for traffic. My house has got into such a mess, literally every surface or corner is cluttered with crap. Not actual rubbish but toys, clothes, junk.
Can someone please help me and tell me where to start? I need a big kick up the bum.

OP posts:
BrownAjah · 17/12/2015 19:41

I found it helps to concentrate of one small area first. Choose a dresser, shelf, whatever. Clear it off totally, clean it down and put nice things on it. You'll feel like you've accomplished something and it will spur you on to the next place. Each time, revisit the places you have already done and make sure nothing has been left on it that shouldn't be. Slowly, you will clean out the whole room, then onto the next one, etc.

I found it to be effective because it makes the job feel smaller and you feel like you're getting somewhere straight away. It's also really easy to fit in lots of short sessions rather than trying to devote a day to it.

Good luck!

Rinoachicken · 17/12/2015 19:44

squoosh you are right! And you've just made me realise why I have gotten into this mess of paper - it's because I no longer have pet rats! When I had 6 rats, most things got shredded as bedding!!

Answer: GETS MORE RATS!!!

RB68 · 17/12/2015 19:47

the thing to do is "just start" it really doesn't feel so big bit by bit and just keep going.

Try the Fly Lady website as well

Rinoachicken · 17/12/2015 19:47

sheba I am online for utilities but not for banking, must change that. The worst culprit is the council - I'm a council tenant and the amount of crap they send me by post is unbelievable, a letter to tell me they will send me a letter soon for example!!

Rinoachicken · 17/12/2015 19:48

This thread has inspired me to get on with it - thank you all and OP for starting it!

QuiteLikely5 · 17/12/2015 19:48

My biggest tip: don't overthink this, don't plan this.

Get a supply of bin bags, preferably the strong, wheelie bin size ones and just start filling it from whatever room you are in.

If you can't decide about whether something needs to go just move on to a different room and keep filling the bag. Go go go!!!! Smile

Letters - you do not need them, organisations keep copies of everything these days. You don't need to keep council tax bills etc.

Yika · 17/12/2015 19:49

I've discovered Flylady.net thanks to mumsnet and highly recommend it for decluttering /staying on top of housework without having to do a radical clean out first. A very practical, doable and sustainable system, in small manageable chunks.

And don't get rid of stuff that you actually want to keep, just for the sake of decluttering.

Varya · 17/12/2015 19:49

Its the same here and husband makes a mess with all the stuff connected with his hobbies. Drives me mad!

TheoriginalLEM · 17/12/2015 19:51

i have become quite disenchanted with charity shops as they often refuse to take stuff, which is fair enough i guess as they probalby have enough stuff already. So i often just take it to the recycling bins for clothes and try and offload toys on schools and nurseries.

I think its really importatnt to declutter - just a shame the rest of my family don't!

I feel your pain OP, crap everywhere in my house

squoosh · 17/12/2015 19:51

Rino once you start using online banking you won't look back. So much easier to keep on top of things!

LadyRivers1 · 17/12/2015 19:57

Following - I'm in a rut since my partner left and I feel a bit ashamed of it and sorry for my two daughters that they have to love in this. It's clean but bloody hard to keep clean with all this clutter. I'm determined to get on top of it before Xmas, can forsee loads of trips to the tip!

PlymouthMaid1 · 17/12/2015 20:14

Am I unusual in that I quite like what other people would no doubt call clutter? I find that the minute I get rid of something I end up needing it again or thinking of what I could do if only I had it. That said though I did sort out a bookcase recently as since I got a Kindle a few years ago I have began to loathe smelly paperbacks sat on shelves ... but those three boxes of books are still sat on the bedroom floor 4 months later :(

MartinRohdesBellybuttonFluff · 17/12/2015 20:18

I agree with BrownAjah about tackling something small like a drawer or shelf at a time. It makes tidying up less overwhelming and you will see results quickly which, in turn, should make you feel better and more motivated to do more.

Yy QuiteLikely5, overthinking and overplanning delays getting started.

I've been trying to apply the 'one touch rule' this week and have been pleasantly surprised at how something so small can help make a difference:

www.pinterest.com/pin/239746380139217298/

DSis swears by Kondo.

Good luck Cuppaand2biscuits!

Original poster
Cuppaand2biscuits · 17/12/2015 20:19

Thank you all, my main problem is that I have a two year old with me all day and I don't have a partner coming in at teatime so I don't get much uninterrupted time to blitz. I also struggle getting rid of toys as I feel they're not mine to get rid off. I will be getting the bin bags out though.

OP posts:
CremeEggThief · 17/12/2015 20:26

I think you should definitely tackle visible clutter first. Hidden clutter in drawers and cupboards are for people much further along than you, OP. Just put all the toys together in your DD's room, and sort through when she's older, if you can't deal with them now. And do a 2 hour stint every night after she's gone to bed. Good luck!

Lovemytent · 17/12/2015 20:31

ok...my suggestion will not be an immediate help as its seasonal...but if you have a garage or anywhere you can pile stuff then put it aside ready to sell at a car boot in the Spring.
I have lost faith in charity shops, as PP's have said, they have such high standards now. My MIL volunteers at one, and she is appalled by the amount of stuff they reject that goes into the rags and sold off by weight. Perfectly good clothes etc that may simply have a bobble or two. Nowadays they want items to be in 'new' condition (Well - in her shop they do).
If you can store it for a few months then i would recommend a car boot sale. You can sell anything and everything.

Sazzle41 · 17/12/2015 20:33

Household bills/paperwork put in an a-z folder til later when you can set up paperless online billing and banking (& get the discounts you get if you do.).

If its not been used or worn in a year charity shop or Gumtree one off listing saying house clearance items from £1 and lust m a in stuff. One room at a time, worst first, one each day if you have short attention span like I do. (play to your strengths). Accept help if you get overfaced agreeing on ground rules of binning items first.

hesterton · 17/12/2015 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

timelytess · 17/12/2015 20:42

You are not the only one. Its a symptom of depression. Get that checked out.

Meanwhile, try MK but if it doesn't move you, forget it.

Bin bags are the way to go. Kitchen first - Fly Lady (see website) says 'first shine your sink' (really does make you feel better) and 'anyone can do fifteen minutes' (true).

Having unrealistic expectations, feeling overwhelmed, will slow you down. Remember that it took a while to get into that state and it will take a while to get right.

My gran used to call out 'Clear the decks!' before she started cleaning and tidying, and she'd do one thing, eg on worktop or one cupboard, at a time, until it was sparkling. She was an amazing housekeeper.

Get boxes for anything you don't have proper storage for, don't bung a lot of random stuff in together, sort it first and label the box.

Life gets better. Honestly.

hesterton · 17/12/2015 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

timelytess · 17/12/2015 20:43

You are not the only one. Its a symptom of depression. Get that checked out.

Meanwhile, try MK but if it doesn't move you, forget it.

Bin bags are the way to go. Kitchen first - Fly Lady (see website) says 'first shine your sink' (really does make you feel better) and 'anyone can do fifteen minutes' (true).

Having unrealistic expectations, feeling overwhelmed, will slow you down. Remember that it took a while to get into that state and it will take a while to get right.

My gran used to call out 'Clear the decks!' before she started cleaning and tidying, and she'd do one thing, eg on worktop or one cupboard, at a time, until it was sparkling. She was an amazing housekeeper.

Get boxes for anything you don't have proper storage for, don't bung a lot of random stuff in together, sort it first and label the box.

Life gets better. Honestly.

CherryPicking · 17/12/2015 20:44

Have to disagree with 90s forever, please dont just bin perfectly good stuff and leave it to rot on some landfill site for the next 500 years. Someone who needs it could make use if it from the charity shop and you'll get an extra lovely warm christmassy glow knowing you're helping people and planet as well as your own living space.

timelytess · 17/12/2015 20:47

Twice! My apologies.

90sforever · 17/12/2015 20:51

If the OP is in an emergency situation she doesn't have time to piss around worrying about landfill. Doing the whole "keep for 6 months" "charity shop" "eBay" piles is just an excuse for procrastination for hoarders/ those surrounded by clutter. Don't fool yourself OP. That stuff will never find its way to a charity shop

PlumpFiction · 17/12/2015 20:58

If you DO want to send stuff to a charity shop, make sure you do it straight away. You're not finished until it's out of your house. I'm not perfect and I've got quite a way to go with decluttering, but every time I've had a decluttering 'session' and driven the excess bags straight to the charity shop and tip, I've felt brilliant - like a load has been lifted.