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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not offer a cup of tea?

114 replies

perrita · 15/12/2015 18:03

DH and I have own business and had a visitor coming to our office today, who we are paying for their time. I don't really drink tea or coffee so never have these items at the office (no kettle either although there is a communal kettle in a communal kitchen at opposite end of building) and it didn't occur to me to bring them in so I didn't offer them anything to drink, they were here about 1-1.5 hours.

DH asked how it went and asked if I offered them a drink. Adv no. I just didn't think about it. He's annoyed I didn't, said it makes us look bad.

If it was a client or potential client I would agree and would have even bought posh biscuits for them but AIBU to think that it's not up to me to make cups of tea for people we are paying? When I'm at work I wouldn't expect people to make drinks for me, if they offered I might say yes but wouldn't be offended if they didn't. Id take my own drink with me for the day and wouldn't rely on other people providing my refreshments.

DH thinks I'm BU, I think he is, who's right??

OP posts:
Sirzy · 15/12/2015 18:07

I think the polite thing to do would have been to offer a drink.

usual · 15/12/2015 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whois · 15/12/2015 18:08

Bottle of water would be polite but no need for tea/coffee for a 1.5h meeting.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 15/12/2015 18:09

I don't drink tea or coffee either, so I don't have them at home.

I do have a kettle, for baby milk and cup-a-soup!

I would have probably given them a glass of fruit juice if they wanted it or not

I would have offered them something, but explained there was nothing hot on offer.

GloGirl · 15/12/2015 18:09

I agree with your DH. Have a couple of water bottles stashed away to offer next time and say you don't have tea and coffee facilities and ask if they would like a water instead.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 15/12/2015 18:09

I think YABU on the basis that you would do it for for some people but didn't think the person visiting "ranked" as worthy

ZenNudist · 15/12/2015 18:09

It's polite to offer drinks or at least apologise in true British fashion for having no tea making facilities. Would it have killed you to offer a glass of water. Fwiw the person would have bought their own drink if they thought they'd be in need and probably didn't mind for only 1.5h.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 15/12/2015 18:10

I think its rude not to offer. Just bad manners.
Dont know why people think making tea or offering a drink to anyone is beneath them. Its what makes us human.

2rebecca · 15/12/2015 18:12

I would. To me meetings are tea and coffee drinking times but I'm a tea and coffee drinker. Going to someone's office for over an hour and not being offered a drink would seem odd to me and I'd probably feel I wasn't valued (which they weren't)

someonestolemynick · 15/12/2015 18:14

I perform a service in people's homes and offices. 99% of my clients offer me a drink before the session.
It is, of course, your right to not to offer a drink. But I tend to notice and it's a but of an indicator for me wrt to how socially aware a client is. A little consideration goes a long way.

SwedishEdith · 15/12/2015 18:15

Bad manners. I'm with your husband.

WickedWax · 15/12/2015 18:16

Interesting insight into what you think of ppl you are paying/employing vs potential clients. I don't think I'd like to work for you.

SevenOfNineTrue · 15/12/2015 18:17

You should always have basic things like tea, coffee and water to offer visitors to a business, paid or not.

midnightsunshine · 15/12/2015 18:17

It's rude not to offer. Doesn't matter if you don't drink tea or coffee yourself! It looks thoughtless or lazy not to. A hot drink is a universal ice-breaker.

I offer everyone coming to my house a cup of tea/coffee whether it's the HV or a builder or a friend popping in. It takes minutes to make.
When we ran a business from home we ALWAYS offered tea/coffee and biscuits to clients, staff, interns or anyone visiting.

RakeMeHomeCountryToads · 15/12/2015 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparkletastic · 15/12/2015 18:18

I would at least offer water.

shinynewusername · 15/12/2015 18:20

You will get the most out of people - whether or not you are paying for their time - if you put them at their ease. As midnight says, offering a drink is an ice-breaker.

firesidechat · 15/12/2015 18:21

Always offer a drink. Apart from anything else it gives a good impression (that you care about people's comfort) and it breaks the ice.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 15/12/2015 18:23

Rude not to offer a drink. I've gone to job interviews where they didn't offer a glass of water. Put me right off.

Atenco · 15/12/2015 18:23

So you would only offer a cup of tea to someone if there was something in it for you?

I'm criticising you for forgetting to offer tea, just don't agree with your reasoning.

AliciaMayEmory · 15/12/2015 18:28

Interesting insight into what you think of ppl you are paying/employing vs potential clients. I don't think I'd like to work for you.

^this, absolutely.

Cressandra · 15/12/2015 18:30

It's polite to offer, and people you are paying are still people who may have caffeine needs Xmas Smile

I offer to interviewees and tradespeople as well as potential clients.

Flumplet · 15/12/2015 18:32

Bit stingey not to offer anything at all imo.

toffeeboffin · 15/12/2015 18:32

DH is right.

You should have offered at least a coffee/tea and water, if not a biscuit too.

It's just good PR.

BackforGood · 15/12/2015 18:34

YABU. If you have people visiting, you offer them a cuppa - doesn't matter if that's someone visiting my home (carpet fitter, boiler mender, dishwasher fixer, whatever) or someone coming into the office (IT repairs, asbestos inspector, whatever). It's just manners.

Part of my job entails me visiting different places, and it makes a big difference when people offer you a cuppa.

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