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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not offer a cup of tea?

114 replies

perrita · 15/12/2015 18:03

DH and I have own business and had a visitor coming to our office today, who we are paying for their time. I don't really drink tea or coffee so never have these items at the office (no kettle either although there is a communal kettle in a communal kitchen at opposite end of building) and it didn't occur to me to bring them in so I didn't offer them anything to drink, they were here about 1-1.5 hours.

DH asked how it went and asked if I offered them a drink. Adv no. I just didn't think about it. He's annoyed I didn't, said it makes us look bad.

If it was a client or potential client I would agree and would have even bought posh biscuits for them but AIBU to think that it's not up to me to make cups of tea for people we are paying? When I'm at work I wouldn't expect people to make drinks for me, if they offered I might say yes but wouldn't be offended if they didn't. Id take my own drink with me for the day and wouldn't rely on other people providing my refreshments.

DH thinks I'm BU, I think he is, who's right??

OP posts:
needastrongone · 15/12/2015 19:38

OP, the person that came to see you is NOT 'miles better than you', not at all. What the hell is 'more successful'? How do you define that? No one is 'better' than any one else. They may be more experienced, richer, have more qualifications or whatever, but no one is better or worse than any one else. And folk would do better to remember it sometimes.

Ta1kinPeace · 15/12/2015 19:39

I am an auditor.
People often do not like what I have to tell them as I sit there in their homes / offices, charging handsomely for my time.
Leaving me gasping for a drink is not the way to make it go smoothly.

In the USA you would automatically be offered a glass of water.
Ditto most of the continent.

Potatoface2 · 15/12/2015 19:48

i always make tea or coffee.....i think if you are polite and offer you will get nicer/better service from people whether you are paying them or not.....if you come across as superior or rude it can often wind people up and give you inferior quality service....it definately pays to be nice and polite!

Cressandra · 15/12/2015 19:50

When I worked in Brussels, everything stopped for v strong coffee.

OP if you're getting in water you could also get some diet coke. I've seen these in a beer fridge as an easy alternative to coffees and teas. We did this at a kids' party too and 90% of people went for the coke.

Justaboy · 15/12/2015 20:41

Cressandra Urrg!, diet coke?, where you trying to be rid of them?. That's provably with worst tasting drink around!.

I know real coke isnt that good for you, but please if call by anything but the diet version!

Ta!

2rebecca · 15/12/2015 22:56

I think if you're a tea or coffee drinker then the person whose kettle tea and coffee it is is the only one who can offer a hot beverage (to sound very Sheldonish) regardless of who is paying whom. Thermos tea and coffee are pretty rubbish. I offer people hot drinks if they come to my office or my house as that's the only way they're getting a decent hot drink.
Who pays whom is irrelevant. Offering visitors a hot beverage is good manners.
If someone doesn't drink tea or coffee then I'd just explain that when someone arrives. That is a good excuse for not offering them.

2rebecca · 15/12/2015 22:58

Agree re diet fizzy drinks. Yuk, not that I drink many fizzy drinks except tonic water but diet drinks are sweeter with a nasty aftertaste. Just drink less calorific stuff

2rebecca · 15/12/2015 22:59

less OF THE calorific stuff

lovefairylights · 15/12/2015 23:10

Glad you have realised yabu!
That said if you don't have a kettle I don't think you need to lay on the whole tea/coffee/milk/sugar/sweeteners and get a kettle but just be sure to have a couple of cold drink alternatives available instead so you are being hospitable

gamerchick · 15/12/2015 23:17

I don't drink tea or coffee but I have the shit in ready. However I don't group fellow man into groups worthy of my attentions or not either.

LadyMaryofDownt0n · 15/12/2015 23:36

Oh dear, you are very rude. I suggest brushing up on your social/hospitality skills & your attitude to your "Staff V Client".

OnlyLovers · 16/12/2015 09:58

I obviously think it is important to "woo" clients/prospective clients and make a good impression so they ultimately choose us!

But you don't think it's important to be pleasant and welcoming to someone else who's coming to your office, on the grounds that you're not wooing them but paying them?

You do need to have a word with yourself.

LurkingHusband · 16/12/2015 10:03

Amid all the chaos, confusion and evil in the world, there are fewer high points of civilised behaviour than a cup of tea. It's not just a hot drink. It's a ritual that raises man above the beasts.

WMittens · 16/12/2015 10:42

I'd be fucking parched if I'd travelled to your office and sat through an hour and a half meeting with no drink!

RB68 · 16/12/2015 10:49

You should have offered a drink even if only water. Biscuits not necessary. Who they are and why they are there and who is paying is irrelevant - its common courtesy in my view. I would offer the plumber a drink same as I would a visiting CEO

WMittens · 16/12/2015 10:49

perrita
Pigletjohn it's not their position in society but I suppose in relation to their position within my business I obviously think it is important to "woo" clients/prospective clients and make a good impression so they ultimately choose us!

You 'woo' potential clients with cups of tea and posh biscuits?! Different sector to mine evidently, where 'wooing' is done by taking prospects/clients out for a meal, on the piss, or to e.g. a football match.

carabos · 16/12/2015 10:49

I do a lot of meetings with people who are paying me. It has always surprised me how few of them offer me anything to drink, no matter how far I have travelled (narrows eyes at clients in Northern Ireland) and only one of them ever offers anything to eat (biscuit).

Years of miserable experience means that I now take hot and cold drinks and snacks with me wherever I go to avoid dying of hunger and thirst on the road.

Spilose · 16/12/2015 11:23

Personally I would offer water but not tea or coffee. I don't drink tea or coffee so it's not an option. In the past I have bought it for others but it sits it my cupboard so long it goes stale.

PegsPigs · 16/12/2015 12:00

perrina I've been to Nestlé head office as a supplier several times and was not offered a drink once! And they make the damn stuff! Was it because I was only a supplier? I hope not. I think it's a lesson for next time to at least offer a glass of water to everyone regardless of their 'importance'.

PegsPigs · 16/12/2015 12:01

perrita even

Blacktealeaves · 16/12/2015 12:42

I would offer at least water.

Blacktealeaves · 16/12/2015 12:44

lurking husband that is brilliant and exactly how I feel about tea. Will remember that as it is indeed what separates us from the beasts.

Kaytee1987 · 16/12/2015 12:51

I think it's a bit thoughtless not to offer but as you don't drink it yourself it's easy to forget however I think the reason you didn't offer is a bit rude. How we treat people 'below' us is a better indicator of our character than how we treat those 'above' us.

ClarkL · 16/12/2015 13:18

I must say offering tea is a bit of a deal breaker for me, I have been to see customers and judge them on tea/coffee being offered. If your asking me a difficult question I want a drink to hand to sip, consider for a moment then answer - if you don't give me that drink all sorts of fluff and bollocks may come out my mouth.

Worst still are the ones who waltz into the room with their costa coffee...

no73 · 16/12/2015 13:27

I don't drink coffee but I still have it in my house how weird to think that just because you don't drink it you shouldn't have to offer it.

Very thoughtless IMO

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