AIBU to not offer a cup of tea?

[perrita]

DH and I have own business and had a visitor coming to our office today, who we are paying for their time. I don't really drink tea or coffee so never have these items at the office (no kettle either although there is a communal kettle in a communal kitchen at opposite end of building) and it didn't occur to me to bring them in so I didn't offer them anything to drink, they were here about 1-1.5 hours.

DH asked how it went and asked if I offered them a drink. Adv no. I just didn't think about it. He's annoyed I didn't, said it makes us look bad.

If it was a client or potential client I would agree and would have even bought posh biscuits for them but AIBU to think that it's not up to me to make cups of tea for people we are paying? When I'm at work I wouldn't expect people to make drinks for me, if they offered I might say yes but wouldn't be offended if they didn't. Id take my own drink with me for the day and wouldn't rely on other people providing my refreshments.

DH thinks I'm BU, I think he is, who's right??

People always remember the food and drinks. Always.

Its the polite kind thing to do their another human even if they are selling to you or providing you with a service makes no odds!

My first reply to an AIBU!!

You are definitely being unreasonable. We have our own business. Everyone that comes for a meeting gets a cuppa offered, whether they are paying us or we are paying them.

Just as, everyone that works here always asks everyone else if they want a cuppa if they are making one, even folk that never say yes.

Just as, everyone that works here always asks everyone else if they want anything when they go for a sandwich, even folk that never say yes.

I think it's 5 years since anyone left.....

I agree with your husband, OP. Surely one of the first things you do when greeting visitors on your own premises is offer a drink. It's very basic hospitality/good manners and it's completely irrelevant that you were paying for their time.

Our customers pay me and my colleagues to visit their sites. I'd say a drink is offered maybe 50% of the time.

Some places don't have facilities or are an environment where drinks are not allowed for health and safety (labs etc).

In the circumstances you describe I wouldn't judge you for not offering tea or coffee but maybe some small bottles of water may be a compromise in case someone needs a drink - my throat sometimes gets dry if I am talking a lot.

It is nice to be offered a hot drink during visits but not compulsory and I don't always want one anyway especially if I have several meetings and have just had one. If your visitor needed a coffee they could have always gone to Costa or wherever afterwards.

Just get a cheap kettle in your area of the building - they only costs a fiver!

That and a load of bottles of water - sorted. Packet of KitKats and jobs a good 'un!

It doesn't matter whether you don't drink tea/coffe, the fact that water hadn't even crossed your mind means bad manners. Agree with your dh.

You know what, when we moved into this current house, it was a new build. I kept the builders well stocked in tea and biscuits while they finished the site, and all our snagging got done, and more. A cup of char can work wonders

It's just good manners. Would you not offer a cuppa to the plumber?

I don't drink tea or coffee, so don't think about it as a routine thing like most people do. We have to buy the stuff in and replace it when it goes off, but we get caught out with milk as the I'm told that the non dairy alternative we use is rather odd in hot drinks, and it's not something that can be kept at the back of the cupboard for emergencies. (I hear that long life milk is pretty grim anyway, and milk powder goes weird and lumpy)

I try my best to remember to offer something. I generally remember when I feel thirsty, but when you don't drink to routine it's harder to remember to offer when it's something that happens infrequently.

Deciding not to offer because of someone's position is unreasonable.

Okay I can see its unanimous! I didn't purposely not offer out of spite I just didn't think. I don't think some people are better than others as people but I've always just worked in areas where hospitality has been a big thing to impress clients and that's why it didn't register for me to get these things for someone who wasn't... If that makes sense. I promise I'm not a horrible person!

Have to agree with your Husband.

I offer everyone a drink. Plumbers, plasterers, the ladies who decorated the Christmas tree, CEO waiting for guest a drink.

If my employer didn't keep us all in tea and coffee all day there'd be mutiny.

It's just good manners. Would you not offer a cuppa to the plumber?

Anyone who hovers by the front door for more than 5 seconds gets offered a cuppa in this house.

I am sure you are a lovely person OP

I don't think we all offer cuppas to each other to impress, we do it because it's a friendly thing to do.

Do you know what? In 10 years, I have never ever said yes when the guys pop out to the sandwich shop at lunch, I always bring my own. They ask me every single day if I want anything, without fail, regardless.

We're a construction based business and my husband is a tradesman himself and goes into people's homes so I think that's why he was horrified about it as loves it when people make him a cuppa and would ask them for one whereas I'm the opposite, when we have builders in our home I would offer as we do have a kettle there but I think it's really rude if they ask for one instead of waiting to be offered, or ask for a second straight away, etc.

I thinks its because I liken it to, when I used to be employed, I would never dream of asking the person who was paying me to make me a cup of tea!!

I think it's basic etiquette to offer tea and coffee, even if you don't drink them yourselves (and what do you do for clients etc to whom you DO want to offer drinks?).

I'm going to go against the crowd and say YANBU, since it was only a short time. If I was being paid for a 1.5 hour job, I'd feel awkward taking up some of that time drinking tea.

I chair a weekly 1.5 hour meeting of a voluntary body, and I find it mildly irritating that the first 10 minutes are invariably taken up with everyone getting themselves a cuppa (to be fair, I like to leave promptly to be home when dd gets back from school, whereas all the others are retired).

But I will mend my non tea offering ways!

"not up to me to make cups of tea for people we are paying"

suggests that treating people with respect is conditional on your perception of their position in society.

YABU.
its thoughtless and impolite.

I think it's polite to offer a drink.

I work for myself, largely at home but have been into offices a few times to do certain jobs. Sometimes for a day, sometimes a half-day or a few hours. I'm being paid for this, obviously, but I still get offered hot drinks and water, and TBH I'd think it a bit odd if I wasn't.

I wouldn't ask for one, though, and was narked by the tradesman who came round and hovered pointedly with a hopeful expression when he saw that there was a pot of coffee on the stove.

But I think I'm just British and have Certain Ideas about politeness and reticence.

Pigletjohn it's not their position in society but I suppose in relation to their position within my business I obviously think it is important to "woo" clients/prospective clients and make a good impression so they ultimately choose us!