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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not offer a cup of tea?

114 replies

perrita · 15/12/2015 18:03

DH and I have own business and had a visitor coming to our office today, who we are paying for their time. I don't really drink tea or coffee so never have these items at the office (no kettle either although there is a communal kettle in a communal kitchen at opposite end of building) and it didn't occur to me to bring them in so I didn't offer them anything to drink, they were here about 1-1.5 hours.

DH asked how it went and asked if I offered them a drink. Adv no. I just didn't think about it. He's annoyed I didn't, said it makes us look bad.

If it was a client or potential client I would agree and would have even bought posh biscuits for them but AIBU to think that it's not up to me to make cups of tea for people we are paying? When I'm at work I wouldn't expect people to make drinks for me, if they offered I might say yes but wouldn't be offended if they didn't. Id take my own drink with me for the day and wouldn't rely on other people providing my refreshments.

DH thinks I'm BU, I think he is, who's right??

OP posts:
WickedWax · 15/12/2015 18:53

You say you don't think some people are better than others, but the question in the body of your post AIBU to think it's not up to me to make drinks for people we are paying? might suggest otherwise.

needastrongone · 15/12/2015 18:54

Crikey OP, don't work for me then, they are all cheeky gits here and just put their cups on my desk if they think it's my turn.

They have complained bitterly this week as I didn't buy Gold Blend Grin

SwedishEdith · 15/12/2015 18:55

Why do you keep linking it to who is paying who?

PigletJohn · 15/12/2015 18:55

but would you say "please" and "thankyou" to a bus conductor or a waitress? When you are not "wooing" them to obtain a benefit for yourself?

needastrongone · 15/12/2015 18:59

perrita Ultimately, we are a very successful business. I think we are a successful business because of our staff. They are fantastic and will go that extra mile always. We are also not so far away from the construction industry. There's nothing as impressive as us turning up to a broken down machine the very next day because one of our staff feels valued enough to get up at 5am and drive 3 hours to see them. IYSWIM?

Not just because I make cups of tea!!! Smile But you get the drift.

PuppyMonkey · 15/12/2015 18:59

You don't have a kettle????? ShockShockShockShockShockShockShockShockShockShock

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 15/12/2015 19:00

I wouldnt want to piss the plumber off by not offering!!!!

Ipsos · 15/12/2015 19:00

I would always think it's right to offer but I know that I do also sometimes forget. Maybe you could buy a kettle so you have one at both ends of the building?

WoodHeaven · 15/12/2015 19:00

When I was working in a company, I have never seen anyone offering a cup of tea/coffee to suppliers unless they were there for a long time (think half a day or a day).
A customer would ALWAYS have been offered a cuppa.

But then suppliers were usually there when there was a problem with their products so all the focus was on that.
I know that, if I was he one to visit the customer (and the one to answer why on earth ur products ahd X and Y problems), I wouldn't have been offered a cuppa either (unless, again, if there for a long visit).

Having a tea or coffee was always seen as something you ^might6 do when you have sorted the most important thing.

ASmallHenInItsLateForties · 15/12/2015 19:05

I don't ever drink hot drinks either but I always offer them to visitors, or a cold drink if they prefer. I usually make Dh tea in the morning too.

I would think if you run a business and are likely to have people visiting whether they're clients or not, it would be an idea to keep some supplies in. It's just nice to be in a position to appear hospitable and welcoming.

Original poster
perrita · 15/12/2015 19:05

Yes of course pigletjohn! I normally have very good manners honestly.

And to those saying that I must see myself as better than others, if I did think like that, then to be fair the person who came today is miles better than me! Longer and more established business, more qualifications, older, more successful, etc.

The reason I bring up who is paying is because I suppose, due to previous employment, it is ingrained in me to make a big fuss of clients or prospective clients, whereas because this person today wasn't a client it didn't trigger through my non-tea-drinking brain to offer a cuppa.

I liked a previous suggestion of keeping some bottled water in and offering that instead!

OP posts:
celtictoast · 15/12/2015 19:06

YABU. You offer a visitor a drink because they are a human being, not because they might buy something from you.

Ipsos · 15/12/2015 19:07

Marvelously British thread. Love it.

skyeskyeskye · 15/12/2015 19:08

It would have been nice, however as a self employed professional who visits many different client offices/sites, I do not always get offered a drink. I am in the habit of carrying my own water with me, in case I don't get offered.

BlueJug · 15/12/2015 19:11

Generally I would offer but I can see OP's point especially if client charging by the hour! Also it is not a home visit, it is business to business.

I remember my dad agreeing a meeting with his accountant. The accountant suggested lunch. Sort of pushed my dad into paying for lunch, (he had three courses and coffee and wine and sat for ages). He then invoiced my dad for his TIME!!!!

TendonQueen · 15/12/2015 19:11

I also don't get why, if you say you'd give drinks to a client, you don't even have a kettle in! How embarrassing would that look if a client turned up at short notice? I agree with your husband. Offering drinks is just general hospitality, not a level only clients are worthy of.

Corygal · 15/12/2015 19:12

I know someone who refused a job on the grounds they didn't offer tea or coffee at the interviews. They were desperate for her to do it, as well. The point being if they couldn't be bothered to do that, what else couldn't they be arsed to produce.

PigletJohn · 15/12/2015 19:16

Pickering called her Miss Doolittle when she was a flower-girl.

Pickering was a true gentleman.

Sansoora · 15/12/2015 19:20

*DH is right.

You should have offered at least a coffee/tea and water, if not a biscuit too.

It's just good PR.*

Spot on.

Gruntfuttock · 15/12/2015 19:21

celtictoast "YABU. You offer a visitor a drink because they are a human being, not because they might buy something from you."

Exactly. It's automatic to most people.

Gruntfuttock · 15/12/2015 19:22

Ipsos "Marvelously British thread. Love it."

Hospitality to guests in the form of the offer of a drink is a way of life in many countries, not just Britain.

Sansoora · 15/12/2015 19:24

YABU. You offer a visitor a drink because they are a human being, not because they might buy something from you."

Well said.

toffeeboffin · 15/12/2015 19:27

OP, I'm sure you're lovely.

But you do need to brush up on your brew etiquette! Brew

toffeeboffin · 15/12/2015 19:31

'Grunttfuttock*

No, it isn't.

This whole thread is very British - there's not many countries where tea/coffee is offered as profusely as in the UK.

I live abroad and I can tell you they don't offer the plumber a brew, that's for sure!

OTiTO · 15/12/2015 19:34

What time of days was it and how far would your visitor have travelled.

If he was only there an hour or so I don't think it's that bad not to have offered him a tea. Not great but not terrible either.

YANBU but but you could have been more reasonable Wink

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