Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"I don't drive"

269 replies

AmusingSpoonerism · 15/12/2015 03:50

I know IprobablyABU but this turn of phrase really winds me up. People say "I don't drive" when they mean "I cannot drive" or "I am not legally entitled to drive". It's not like they just decided that it's not something they'd like to do anymore so stopped. It really (unreasonably) winds me up.

Am I the only one?

OP posts:
Sameshitdiffname · 15/12/2015 08:46

I'm not sure why this matters, I can drive but don't drive as I'm not allowed to anymore due to health reasons.

Also people often ask do you drive? The correct response is no I don't drive.

Bakeoffcake · 15/12/2015 08:46

Not sure why it would bother you very much.

Also the whole non-driver haters are very twatty IMO. You have no idea why people choose not to drive. There are many, many valid reasons.

My DD lost her best friend in a car accident. She was 17, and was just about to start driving lessons. Funnily enough, despite trying driving lessons since, she absloutley hates it and doesn't want to learn.

Should I force her?Hmm

Wagglebees · 15/12/2015 08:48

Myrtle yes! Every Time you see them too. It's bizarre how much it seems to bother people that someone else doesn't drive.

tibbawyrots · 15/12/2015 08:50

I don't drive but there is a bus stop right outside my house and the return stop is a little way up on the other side so why do I need to drive? All the supermarkets deliver...

threelittlerapscallions · 15/12/2015 08:55

YABU

'I don't drink alcohol' doesn't mean I physically can't drink or I have never drunk it.

If you can't drive it is better than you don't surely. Unless you are learning in which case you would say 'I am learning to drive'.

I don't drive because I have never wanted to learn. The phrase 'I can't' implies I want to but I just keep failing wheras this is not true.

BaxterBaker · 15/12/2015 08:57

Until you ask for a lift what the fuck is it anyone's business anyway.

PS I drive and have a car.

Coldand · 15/12/2015 08:58

What makes me unreasonably angry is when my friends who are perfectly capable drivers say I CANT drive on a motorway. Makes me so angry. Never heard any of my male friends say that

threelittlerapscallions · 15/12/2015 08:58

Myrtle you are so right. And I get it even more - they say what you have three young children and you don't drive!! Will you learn? How do you manage? Very well thank you. DH drives so can get a lift if essential and otherwise walking is the reason I have lost all my baby weight!

TesticleOfObjectivity · 15/12/2015 08:58

I can't drive but people tend to ask 'do you drive?' rather than 'can you'.

Pidapie · 15/12/2015 08:58

What a random thing to be annoyed about. I say I don't drive. I have a driver's licence, but a massive phobia of driving. I am capable of driving, but because I'm so terrified, I'm not the best of drivers. (I can drive just fine with an instructor, but on my own not so great, though not a danger on the road). Obviously I won't ask people for a lift since it's my "choice" that I don't drive, in the same way it's a person with claustrophobia that they take the stairs rather than the lift. I walk rather than drive.

TesticleOfObjectivity · 15/12/2015 09:00

I never ask for lifts either BTW! Though my dp drives so we do have a car but unless we to together I walk or use public transport as I have done my whole life.

celtictoast · 15/12/2015 09:07

YABU.

"Do you play tennis?"
"Do you play an instrument?"
"Do you knit?"
"Do you cycle?"

All fine.

If someone doesn't drive then the reasons are none of anyone else's business. Why should they have to tell you that they failed their test 8 times, or have a medical condition that prohibits driving?

TheOriginalMerylStrop · 15/12/2015 09:08

I can't drive (or at least I haven't taken a test, I could drive something if I had to) but I always say "I don't drive" as a bit of a joke - like I have a personal driver to take me anywhere I wish.

It is a matter of honour never to inconvenience anyone else by my not driving. I never ask for lifts or use it as an excuse. It only comes up in conversation at the school gate when people see that my kids have walked more than 20m to get there; or that I have chosen to take the very efficient 10 min train to town instead of driving for half and hour to pay £15 for parking.

So YABU.

BikeRunSki · 15/12/2015 09:13

Lol timelytess I think the idea was that my uncles and grandfather would drive her wherever she wanted to go. She would occasionally get dressed up and get the train to "town" (London).

tectonicplates · 15/12/2015 09:15

It's not like they just decided that it's not something they'd like to do anymore so stopped.

Actually, that is the exact reason why I don't drive, so it is true. Used to drive, didn't like it, stopped. Don't need a lift anywhere as I live in London and we have plenty of public transport.

MackerelOfFact · 15/12/2015 09:15

I think 'I can't drive' is often interpreted as 'I'm not very good at driving' so I can see why 'I don't drive' is easier (and covers those who can legally drive but aren't able to for some other reason).

Original poster
AmusingSpoonerism · 15/12/2015 09:17

Oh wow, should have put lighthearted in the title Grin

I have absolutely no problem with people who do not or cannot drive. It's just the phrase that unreasonably irritates me.

OP posts:
APlaceOnTheCouch · 15/12/2015 09:18

YABU because you are assuming that 'don't drive' means cannot.

If I had a provisional license then I could have the necessary skills to drive. I'd even have the legal right to drive if I am accompanied by a driver who has passed their test.

In that case, saying 'I cannot drive' if we are nitpicking which you seem to be is factually and legally inaccurate because I have the skills, ability and with conditions the legal right to drive. In that circumstance saying, 'I do not drive' or 'I did not drive' would be correct.

RiceCrispieTreats · 15/12/2015 09:22

I don't drive.

SuburbanRhonda · 15/12/2015 09:26

It's not just the turn of phrase, though OP, is it? If it were, why would you have posted this:

Strive for independence waxy bean, insure yourself and enjoy delicious (environmentally damaging) freedom

You sound like an evangelist for driving.

SuburbanRhonda · 15/12/2015 09:27

Oh, and this Grin

"I don't drive"
Thurlow · 15/12/2015 09:27

Then why say that people who've never learned get your ire?

This one fucks me right off. I'd quite like to learn, but unless you're going to hand me £1000 and, more importantly, the time to do it and free babysitting for the DC while I learn, then you can keep you're ire, thanks.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 15/12/2015 09:28

The grandmother in The Gilmore Girls just said that women shouldn't drive and she seems like really knows her shit.

museumum · 15/12/2015 09:28

"Do you drive?" Doesn't usually mean "have you got a driving license?" It normally also means do you have a license and use of a car.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 15/12/2015 09:28

Sorry OP - I think YABU.

I say "I don't drive" because it is factually correct - theoretically I could get in a car and start it but that would be illegal, I have not learned to drive that doesn't mean I should or I will but it is not correct to say I can't.

I have consciously opted not to learn - I have 5 siblings and only one of them has a licence (and they are all well over 30). My Dad didn't drive, nor did my Mum. I think some people are not suited to it and I am also very concious that I am judged by some people as inadequate for not learning. So saying "I don't" shuts down further enquiry (on the whole).

I am not a twat, I do not expect to be ferried around - I like walking and using public transport and cycling when I can. So ner.