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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"I don't drive"

269 replies

AmusingSpoonerism · 15/12/2015 03:50

I know IprobablyABU but this turn of phrase really winds me up. People say "I don't drive" when they mean "I cannot drive" or "I am not legally entitled to drive". It's not like they just decided that it's not something they'd like to do anymore so stopped. It really (unreasonably) winds me up.

Am I the only one?

OP posts:

Brekekekex · 15/12/2015 08:17

I can drive - I have a full, clean licence - but I choose not to. Therefore I don't drive. YABU!

Dollymixtureyumyum · 15/12/2015 08:17

It great to know that I will be judged when I say I don't drive
I don't really want to say "I did learn to drive and passed my test at 18 but then developed epilepsy and had to surrender my license and can't drive legally as I would be a danger to myself and others" but maybe I should
Actually on the other hand I don't really give a shit about people who are going to judge me over something so stupid as that says more about them than me, so I am going to carry on saying I don't drive and think what you bloody well like.

cdtaylornats · 15/12/2015 08:17

I usually go with "I'm not a driver" or to some people "I still have the use of my legs"

TattieHowkerz · 15/12/2015 08:20

Well I used to say this when I couldn't drive for medical reasons (epilepsy). I didn't want to go I to an explanation of my health to everyone. I think that's Ok. YABU.

jessplussomeonenew · 15/12/2015 08:21

I tend to say "I hate driving" because it's true - I have a license, have driven when I needed to, but I've never driven frequently enough (living in cities up until a few years ago) for it to be something I'm comfortable doing. It feels like an incredibly risky activity and I hate feeling responsible for my passengers' lives - not sure I'd ever manage to drive with DS in the car! I'm well aware that being an out-of-practice driver makes me more likely than most to have an accident. I am sure, if I ever needed to drive regularly, I'd get over the hump and feel more confident about it, but for now I enjoy the challenge and exercise of getting around with public transport/walking/bike.

AgentCooper · 15/12/2015 08:22

I don't drive but I don't know if I can't because I've never tried

I've lived in the city all my life so have never felt much of a need.

Margoonyawill · 15/12/2015 08:23

Why would you assume that everyone who doesn't drive, for whatever reason, is necessarily scrounging a lift? Some people don't want to pollute the environment further. Some people don't want to sit behind the wheel growing a fat ass when they could be walking or cycling.

OP YADBU and you need to get over yourself -- and probably hit the pavement a bit more often. What I have a problem with is people who 'don't' walk because they can't be bothered or it's easier to drive. And people who assume that everyone should drive. Grrr.

usual · 15/12/2015 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/12/2015 08:26

usual, isn't it just.

FindoGask · 15/12/2015 08:27

I like the assertiveness of "I don't drive", especially as people are so often sneery about non-drivers, as if it's something they should feel lesser about somehow. (I do drive)

StrictlyMumDancing · 15/12/2015 08:27

I can drive just not legally, on my own, without L plates. I'm actually a very competent driver, I just fricking hate it. So I don't drive.

MrsJayy · 15/12/2015 08:29

Yes why dont you walk more why are you driving to town/work/school would it not be easier to walk catch a bus fly your magic carpet people are obsessed with non drivers on mumsnet

Wagglebees · 15/12/2015 08:29

If you say "I can't drive" you get questioned on why and endless reasons for why you should, like they've never occurred to you, and then every time you see that person they ask you if you can drive yet.

If you say "I don't drive" it seems to halt the line of conversation and it's not mentioned again. I guess it sounds more final.

I don't drive because I became ill during my lessons and had to stop them. I'm still ill now so unable to complete my tests and quite frankly with my memory blanks and dizziness I'd be a danger in a car some days so I'd rather not risk it.

I have never, ever cadged a lift from anyone. When well I much preferred walking or public transport. Now I get taxis unless offered a lift first.

UhtredRagnorsson · 15/12/2015 08:29

I can drive. I'm legally entitled to drive. I don't drive because I hate it, it scares me after being in an accident when I was a passenger. I'm so sorry that annoys you. Poor you. So sorry that my physical and mental scars irritate you.

ZedWoman · 15/12/2015 08:30

I don't drive.

I drove a car for 17 years and was a good driver. My eyesight is now 6:60 and I'm not legally allowed to drive.

I can still drive; I've often considered going on track days for people with VI. In certain states of the USA I'd be legally able to drive using bioptic lenses.

Saying 'I don't drive' is far simpler than getting into a big conversation about the medical reasons why.

Wagglebees · 15/12/2015 08:32

Thinking about it, "can't" implies it's something you're unable to do due to things outside your control or unwilling to try harder at. "Don't" sounds like it's a choice you've made that you have control over. Which is usually more accurate.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 15/12/2015 08:32

Have not read the full thread.

Lots of people say things like 'I don't cook' to mean they either can't or choose not to. I see no problem with the phrase 'I don't drive'.

I live in inner London. Judging by the standard of driving I see all around me, many, many people in charge of a motor vehicle are abysmal drivers but choose to drive anyway. The world would be a better place if more of these reckless, spatially challenged multitaskers didn't drive.

In London it's perfectly possible for most people to manage without a car. We do, and did even when the children were little.

SuburbanRhonda · 15/12/2015 08:33

I have passed my test and don't drive.

It's no-one's business why and no, I don't want a lift from anyone who thinks drivers are some kind of superior being. I would rather walk anywhere than get into a car with someone with such twattish opinions.

HTH

DrDreReturns · 15/12/2015 08:34

YABVVVU. Nothing wrong with saying 'I don't drive.' It could be for a variety of reasons, many of which people would like to keep private. None of your business.

DeoGratias · 15/12/2015 08:35

Don't means you do not do it. So it would be good English for someone who has a test but chose not to drive or who for fitness sake wants to cycle everywhere or who never passed a test.

Can't drive means does not know how to. It is not wrong to say don't drive if you can't drive of course.

It's only semantics.

Wagglebees · 15/12/2015 08:35

Scrap my 'more accurate' comment. That's not true at all. It's way too early for my brain yet.

Don't is more assertive when dealing with judgemental, nosy feckers. Basically.

MyrtleFox · 15/12/2015 08:35

That's a bit odd of you. I could afford a car, just, and I can drive but I haven't passed the test. But I'd feel ridiculous telling people "I'm not legally entitled to drive". YABU

People ought not to be OBLIGED to drive and I do hate when it's assumed that everybody drives. Eg, a school trip recently, to save money on the coach to keep the cost of the school trip down they had all the parents collect their child from some godforsaken outdoor pursuits centre in the middle of nowhere. That put me in the position of having to ask somebody (not somebody like you though! I'm quite intuitive!) for a lift for my child.

SquadGoals · 15/12/2015 08:38

I don't drive.

I passed my test first time, with four minors and then moved to an inner city university and then abroad.

I am absolutely terrified of driving. I get a similar feeling to a panic attack when I'm behind the wheel. I get tunnel vision and can't really see other cars around me.

You would much rather that I didn't drive.

I have a car sat outside the house which gets used 2-3 times a week by DH. I've taken it out with him a few times and just panicked.

I'd love to be able to drive confidently but just can't see it happening for me.

MyrtleFox · 15/12/2015 08:40

ps, I agree with other posters who say I don't drive is more assertive. I like that. I'm going to start using it myself. I do hate when the whole line of interrogation gets opened up. You can't drive? Why not? Have you taken lessons? Have you taken the test? You failed the test? How many times? ARe you gonna reapply? when are you gonna reapply? Do you think you'll pass it this time? what will you do if you don't pass?

MrsJayy · 15/12/2015 08:44

Yip I don't drive is to the point i cant drive sounds moany and is open to question

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