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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she will never learn?

34 replies

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/12/2015 00:49

Exmil (never actually married, but close enough)...

Met in town earlier as she wanted to give dd and ds Xmas gifts.

She had asked if there was anything they wanted or needed.

Asked for trousers age 4 for dd. she is almost 3, and very tall.

So exmil brings a pack of t-shirts. Nice enough t shirts. Always useful. But age 2. Good inch of belly draught and a couple of inches of wrist draught.

She was the same with ds. Got him a pack of t shirts for his 6th birthday. Age 3-4. (He needed 6 or 7, for height )

I don't think I can even swap them now. She wore one, having spilt dinner done the one she was wearing.

Will sainsburys swap 3 of a 4 pack? If I pay the difference? Or accept the washed one back (it might shrink...? )

First world problem, I know. But if you are going to spend some of your limited money on somebody, wouldn't you make sure it was big enough?

OP posts:
TheHouseOnTheLane · 13/12/2015 00:54

No they won't accept part of a pack. I get why it's so annoying. My otherwise sensible mate does this. I've told her my DDs are both tall and so wear a size up but she thinks "If you're 6 then you wear a 6" and that's what she buys!

She does the same to her own kids and all their clothes fit where they touch! Everything tight.

YouTheCat · 13/12/2015 00:56

Tell her at least one or two sizes too big in future. Then you might get something that fits.

Chippednailvarnish · 13/12/2015 01:01

Why don't you just smile sweetly and say "oh dear you have gotten the wrong size, please can you change it" and give them back to her?

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/12/2015 01:03

Youthecat...

I have done. Repeatedly. So has exdp.

But unless you are a corrie actor, she can't actually hear you.

Maybe I need to write to corrie? Get boy WhyCant age 13 or more and girl WhyCant at least A 4...

OP posts:
Puffpastry1 · 13/12/2015 01:07

Bless her.

Say thank you and use them as dusters or something.

ReginaBlitz · 13/12/2015 01:14

Seriously you would be that cheeky and take a pack of opened and one washed t shirts back? They would laugh in your face. It's your own fault for letting her wear one dinner or no dinner I bet she was freezing especially as it didn't fit what's wrong with people!

ijustwannadance · 13/12/2015 01:14

I have relatives like this too. They always buy DD clothes for the age she is, not for her size, even though she has always been tall and long bodied. Such a waste. They have been told. I know at xmas they will buy her age 4-5 pjs or clothes, even though almost 5 and has been wearing age 5-6 for best part of a year.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 13/12/2015 01:20

It's frustrating. I was going to suggest just giving them to a charity shop but then it's disappointing for the child that's opened the present and it's just given away. But also it's no good as it doesn't fit away. How stupid are some people!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 13/12/2015 01:28

DD is a very tall 8. People ask me what size to get her as they knew she's long bodied and long legged. It's not hard to just ask and get that size.

Mmmmcake123 · 13/12/2015 01:42

It's even more annoying when you've been asked, given the right size then on xmas morn little one opens personalised item that is way too small. Sometimes people don't believe you or simply ask n forget

ShamefulPlaceMarker · 13/12/2015 02:11

I'm with regina Shock

Also, it's no loss to you so why even bother wanting to take them back.

Just accept gracefully and move on

EduCated · 13/12/2015 02:19

Well it's a shame for the DC who can't wear the presents they've been given. If they could be taken back, they could at least be swapped.

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/12/2015 08:11

She wasn't freezing as she was wearing a decent coat!

Ex mil helpfully unwrapped them before wrapping them in Xmas paper.

And even more helpfully changed her into one while had a quick toilet visit.

If she hadn't, I could have simply asked my sainsburys to swap for age 4...

To make it more frustrating... She got trousers in age 4... So what crazy logic would make her think of tops age 2??

Ugh. Rant over.

OP posts:
MelanieCheeks · 13/12/2015 08:16

Hang on. She took them out of their packaging before wrapping them in Christmas paper? And then they opened the presents before Christmas? And then she changed your daughter's T shirt during a toilet visit?

Karoleann · 13/12/2015 08:46

My MIL did the same thing until the children complained to her that she kept getting them to wrong size and then she stopped.

She now just buys them cheap crap toys that are for the wrong age group and they're usually broken by the end of Christmas day. Sigh.

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/12/2015 08:50

Yes. Yes. And more yes...

We don't see them very often (as they can't be bothered to travel).

They gave ds his present which wasn't even wrapped.

They wanted to see dd open her present.

Dd thinks any present is a 'happy birthday' as she is only 2.

Her original top had a food dribble. Mostly wiped off. Hidden by her coat anyway. She wasn't impressed at being changed!

So now I have 3 shiny new tops that are too small. 1 almost shiny new top that had to be washed as she spilt squash on it when we returned to the car. Clean now, but not new.

She has been doing this for 12 years for ds... We tell her every time. "Oh, he has seen whatever in sainsburys, he tried it on in age whatever' (we choose sainsburys as she gets all her stuff from there) we pick something like a t-shirt (cheap). She asks what they want. We give detailed info (ds, camo top, age 12:- dd, pink top, age 4) so there is room for a bit of choice...and end up with random stuff!

I just wish she would leave them wrapped so I can change for a bigger one!

OP posts:
APlaceOnTheCouch · 13/12/2015 08:50

Can you direct her to a shop that sizes big? Because yy I understand why you're annoyed but there's a massive difference in sizing between different shops so maybe someone else has told her that she needs to compensate for that.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 13/12/2015 08:53

oops x-post, I've just seen why you use Sainsbury's. If she's been doing this for 12 years, she isn't going to change so either find a friend with smaller children so you can swop the clothes not the children! or direct her to something that doesn't need to be sized eg a water bottle; a pencil case; drawing pad; pens.

var123 · 13/12/2015 08:54

Give them to a charity shop and tell MIL that unfortunately DD had outgrown them by 26th December.

Or ask her to take them back and exchange them for the right size. Obviously she won't be able to, but it might make her stop and think next time.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 13/12/2015 08:59

MiL used to do this. DD hated pink. I would say blue dressing gown, a pink would appear. I had to unwrap the gifts, exchange amd re-wrap.

Why not re-gift them? Some one will be grateful for new tops.

Its not a big deal. Just annoying.

carabos · 13/12/2015 09:10

The answer would seem to be that you stop suggesting clothes as a present. Crap toys that break seem somehow less wasteful.

annettec01 · 13/12/2015 09:13

Ask her to put gift receipts in with all presents so you can exchange them?

Hissy · 13/12/2015 09:13

My mother did this. Bought something she thought might actually be too small. I said not to worry, it's the thought that counts, he doesn't need to have it if doesn't fit.

She made him wear it despite him being in pain, uncomfortable and ASKING to Change twice.

She refused and said it would hurt her feelings if he changed.

Sad

Some people do this shut on purpose. Just give her the clothes straight back and let her deal with it.

Don't ask or accept clothes again. tell her why. "I ask for sizes they need, you don't get them in that size, so it's a waste of money for you and I'm not happy to waste your time or money"

Bunbaker · 13/12/2015 09:14

Do you never tell her that the clothes are too small and that you have had to give them to charity?

RebootYourEngine · 13/12/2015 09:17

Crap useless presents are so annoying. Its such a waste of money. The gift giver may as well have just burnt their money.

On a side note i always buy clothes for other peoples children a size or two bigger than i think will fit them.