To think she will never learn?

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

Exmil (never actually married, but close enough)...

Met in town earlier as she wanted to give dd and ds Xmas gifts.

She had asked if there was anything they wanted or needed.

Asked for trousers age 4 for dd. she is almost 3, and very tall.

So exmil brings a pack of t-shirts. Nice enough t shirts. Always useful. But age 2. Good inch of belly draught and a couple of inches of wrist draught.

She was the same with ds. Got him a pack of t shirts for his 6th birthday. Age 3-4. (He needed 6 or 7, for height )

I don't think I can even swap them now. She wore one, having spilt dinner done the one she was wearing.

Will sainsburys swap 3 of a 4 pack? If I pay the difference? Or accept the washed one back (it might shrink...? )

First world problem, I know. But if you are going to spend some of your limited money on somebody, wouldn't you make sure it was big enough?

My MIL always buys DD stuff that fits snugly at the time so we get about three wears out if it if we're lucky. I haven't said anything as I'd feel cheeky but I just can't understand it.

Why didn't you take the ill fitting shirt off when she got back and say it's too small she can't wear that. No spills, you could have returned them. And if she argued, I would have challenged her to wear a top 3 sizes too small and see how comfortable she felt in it.

Honestly, I don't understand why you don't just hand the gifts right back and say it's the wrong size, you will need to exchange it and give him the right now when you see us next. Instead 12 years?!

I think when your daughter came back through wearing the top I would have exclaimed 'oh what a pity it doesn't fit! That would have looked lovely in the age 4 I suggested. What a shame. I'll have to find a friend with a smaller child to pass them on to.' Also, next time, don't ask for clothes as you know she always does this!

Yes it is annoying and a complete waste of effort and time.

What is the point of buying something too small,

My mil was the same. One time I pointed out that it was too small, her response- oh they didn't have the correct size so u bought this size!

Same as Emily- my mil's logic is they didn't have the right size, so I bought the nearest size down.

Crap useless presents are so annoying. Its such a waste of money. The gift giver may as well have just burnt their money.

So true! There's nothing more annoying than someone asking you what to buy, you telling them and then they buy something completely different, or a different size to the one you said rendering the whole thing useless.

If, your MIL has ever asked you for a receipt to change, then I would feel happy doing the same (after all, it's rather hypocritical if she's happy to return your items, but not the other way round). Otherwise, if not then I'd charity shop it. It just seems a shame because then you're depriving your child of a gift and its your child who misses out. However, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking for receipts if the other person hasn't also done that, but maybe that's just me.

It is annoying though, getting goods and sending them straight to the charity shop feels so ungrateful. I think if you can, it is better to change so at least the money spent is valued.

It makes no difference if they ask or I make a suggestion.

She always buys tops 2sizes too small

Ds ask for money for his hobby. Gets tops.
Ds asks for wellies. Gets tops.
Asks for Lego. Gets tops.
Asks for big tops. Gets small tops.
Ask for slippers. Get tops.
Chocolate? Tops...
Day out to the zoo? Tops...

I can't tell if she is useless "kid is this age, so can only wear said age"
Or being a bitch as she never liked me.

I try to think she is just a bit old and loopy. We have had years of correcting her. Even taking a top out of her hands in a shop and picking up the right size while she was in the queue!

Maybe my dcs should buy her things in a size 8 for Xmas. Dd is fascinated by number 8 this week.

The clothes won't go round her and the shoes would fall off.

I know a great charity shop...!

Hmm - can they at least wear the tops as vests, or are they too small even for that? Your XMIL clearly has a top fixation - or it's the only part of the store she feels comfortable shoplifting from

I'd say she is either being very PA or she gets them in the sales and doesn't really care that they don't fit. I'd say in future ask her to put a gift receipt in or just take them back and exchange them unopened. They wouldn't have a problem doing this at all.

Some older people just seems clueless about this sort of thing. Unfortunately my nan isn't the best at choosing presents. I asked her a while ago what she had got for various great GC. She had picked a puzzle for most of them, the same puzzle for a 3 year old, an 18 month old and a 1 year old and others in between. She doesn't tend to keep track of how old a lot of them are and it is unsuitable for most of the ones she bought for. It's such a waste of money especially when she is trying to cut back on what she is spending. She'll often buy something and when I say that it isn't really suitable her answer is "well I've got it now and it will have to do." Unfortunately I dread her buying presents off her own back because she won't check (possibly because she doesn't want to be told that it isn't really suitable/appropriate). Ages and whether it's suitable or even something they are into often doesn't seem to factor, it's more about what she wants to give (I've had so many notebooks with old ladies on I've lost count and had to ask her to stop).

I know it sounds like I am being a cow but I hate the thought of money wasted and I know full well the people she gives to will just get rid of it without thinking twice whereas I will feel obliged to use it.