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AIBU?

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Original poster

Men and winking

35 replies

Bluerules · 10/12/2015 19:53

Not an AIBU post but posting here for traffic...

What does it mean when a man winks at you? Is it a friendly gesture like how women sign off their messages with x, xx, xxx?

I really have no clue if it's just a cultural thing that men do in this country (UK). Since i moved here i sometimes receive winks from men but didn't really think much of them until today when my GP winked at me as I was leaving and I thought it was weird... can someone clue me in please?

OP posts:
KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 10/12/2015 19:55

Means they think you're cute.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 10/12/2015 19:56

A GP doing it is weird, btw.

Enjolrass · 10/12/2015 19:56

It totally depends. Dads a winker, it's a friendly reassuring gesture.

But I have also being winked at while someone chatted me up.

How I took it would depend on the person winking and the conversation happening.

I don't think there is winking etiquette.

hefzi · 10/12/2015 20:23

Some people are also inadvertent winkers - so it doesn't always mean anything at all. Generally, though, a GP wouldn't wink at you when saying goodbye, though! People sometimes wink if they're teasing you about something also - it's not necessarily flirtatious, but I can't think of a time off hand it would be professional to do so!

Crispbutty · 10/12/2015 20:24

All depends on the conversation I would have thought. Women wink too. Wink

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 10/12/2015 20:26

I can't wink.

It's a big disappointment.

Hassled · 10/12/2015 20:27

Sometimes it means "I'm teasing you in a friendly sort of way" - which I really hope was the context with the GP. Usually though it's just a bit sleazy. I got winked at by quite a senior man in a work meeting once - randomly, across the table, he winked at me. Still makes me shudder, and I still don't quite know what he thought he might achieve by it.

Hassled · 10/12/2015 20:27

KingJoffrey - I can wink with my left eye closed, but not the right. Bizarre.

iklboo · 10/12/2015 20:29

Sometimes it's part of a friendly goodbye. I do it completely inadvertently on occasion - like to my boss Blush

Original poster
Bluerules · 10/12/2015 20:34

Hmm ok! I think I'd like to think of it as a friendly goodbye. Anything else is simply too weird!

OP posts:
NCISaddict · 10/12/2015 20:37

Winking can be part of a tic, more likely with a GP.

dementedma · 10/12/2015 20:42

It always makes me smile. It suggests a shared joke or amusement. I rarely do it myself but it makes me laugh when someone does it to me

BartholinsSister · 10/12/2015 21:06

This isn't an auto-correct thread is it?

AdjustableWench · 10/12/2015 23:25

I sometimes wink as a friendly gesture in my personal life. I did it by accident at work once, with someone I barely knew - I was very embarrassed but the recipient didn't say anything, and I didn't do it again! If my GP did it just the once I would assume it was something like that (accidental). If they made a habit of it I'd change practice!

ScarlettDarling · 10/12/2015 23:26

bartholins Grin
I like winking and I like winkers. I wink at people and get winked at back. It's a friendly gesture...I'd never assume that someone winking at me fancied me!

JessieMcJessie · 11/12/2015 00:34

Disn't Anne Robinson always used to wink her goodbye at the end of Points of View? It's just a friendly thing with some people.

TheCarpenter · 11/12/2015 07:58

Guy at work does this, usually when he's pulling someone's leg and is including you in the joke. I don't think I'd like winking as part of flirting, it's a mates/jokey thing to me and I like it.

Whathaveilost · 11/12/2015 08:03

Do people still wink?
i thought it was a dated concept and people stopped doing it around 1984.

Optimist1 · 11/12/2015 08:06

I like winking and being winked at. It's friendly. But it should always be spontaneous, not a formulaic Anne Robinson affair! Wink

YouMakeMyDreams · 11/12/2015 08:09

It is often a friendly thing when someone catches your eye. I've seen both men and women wink. Don't think of it as a come on or anywhere.
Ds1 uses to wink at me when he was on stage at school concerts he is pretty shy and would wink when he first caught my eye and so I started winking back. It was cute. I maybe liven an area winners because I know loads of people that do it.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 11/12/2015 08:10

I thought winking when trying to flirt went out with the ark! I always take it as a "don't worry", "everything's fine" meaning.

If DP is teasing DS occasionally DS looks slightly worried (although he can usually tell), and I give him (DS) a little wink to confirm that DP is teasing.

In a similar way I'd see a wink from a GP as a "don't worry, you'll be fine, we'll get it sorted".

Friendlystories · 11/12/2015 08:18

My old GP used to wink at me sometimes, he was a lovely, twinkly older doctor and I always took it as a sort of reassuring gesture at the end of a consultation.

zzzzz · 11/12/2015 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/12/2015 08:35

I used to have to go and join a big meeting that was already in progress once a quarter. I'd slip in and take my seat. As I caught the eye of each person round the table, most would wink at me. It meant "hello! Nice to see you!" Without bring verbal. I loved it!

firesidechat · 11/12/2015 09:08

They may have a facial tic. I knew a young man who had one and it did look as if he was winking and, if you didn't know, it could easily be taken the wrong way. I don't think men habitually wink in this country, do they? Perhaps I'm too old to be winked at now. Sad