Downstairs neighbour complaining about my breastpump, AIBU not to change rooms at night?

[Cealee]

Just bought a new powerful pump as I'm exclusively expressing. We live in a flat that's split over 2 levels so our bedroom is on 1st floor, our lounge upstairs on 2nd floor. Our neighbour (on ground floor) caught me in hall to ask what the 'mechanical noise' is that wakes her up I explained its my breastpump and that I need to express at 11pm, 3am and 7am to maintain supply. She said it makes ceiling vibrate and is very loud (even though it's not on the floor it's on a cushion on my bedside table!) She asked me to do it upstairs. I explained this isn't practical as my DH wears earplugs so I need to be able to hear baby if he wakes. She suggested I take baby upstairs with me!! Why should I have to move my sleeping baby upstairs (and risk waking him) every time I express milk? He's just started sleeping through and got used to his cot. And there's no way I'm going to move cot upstairs and sleep on sofa for the next 8months

AIBU to think it's rude to tell someone not to express milk in their own bedroom? It's not like I'm playing loud music! I don't see why neighbour can't just get some earplugs!

Reverse

The neighbour doesn't care why she is being kept awake. She doesn't care if it's music or dogs or hoovers or the TV or ... medical equipment.

It doesn't matter. She doesn't care.

All that matters at 11pm - and every four hours afterwards - is that you're being kept awake.

Nobody cares if its medical equipment that's doing it. They just care that they're awake.

Be considerate. It's not difficult.

This has to be a reverse.

If not, YAB massively U and precious. Just do it in another room - your neighbour didn't sign up for this and whether it's a breast pump or music or stomping is irrelevant at fucking 3am. Show some consideration.

OP your breast pump is not a nebuliser, it's not medical equipment in any shape or form.

You dh has a long commute. So I assume he is in bed before 11pm.

Being woken up at 11pm and 3am for 15 minutes a time (he doesn't even have to be fully awake just take his ear plugs out) isn't going to exhaust him. If it does he can go to bed earlier.

Your baby is yours and dhs. Neither of you can expect your dh to have a full nights sleep every night. Especially when you are working so hard to maintain supply.

The baby is not your neighbours. It's not ok to take steps that disturb her but not your dh.

Maybe your alarm is waking her up, but not fully, then the vibration is just enough to keep her awake.

She obviously can hear it (can't understand why people are questioning whether she can) because she commented. If she was sleeping through, she wouldn't be asking what the mechanical noise was.

What do you when the baby sleeps during the day? Sit by the baby?

Do you go to bed I am evening when the baby does.

Your baby does not need the mother in the room to regulate breathing.

Studies show being hear a parent may help regulate breathing. Your husband is also a parent.

You are making life incredibly difficult for yourself. Your DH needs to help out.

I never said said breastfeeding was like vacuuming OP!

You just don't get it! Your either being incredibly thick or obtuse! Or even both!

It's not like I'm playing loud music! I don't see why neighbour can't just get some earplugs!

It's exactly the same

*"But a machine doesnt have to be noisy in itself to create noise.

Put your phone on vibrate and put it in your pocket....no noise.

Put your phone on vibrate and put it on a glass table....sounds like the ceiling is caving in."*

In what world does this actually happen? You've made me laugh

Stand the drawers on something squashy and sound insulating.

As a pp explained it will be the vibrations. Even though on a cushion your pump is causing vibrations in the drawers, and it is likely that the vibrations are being increased / amplified through the air-filled drawers, and the vibrations carrying on through the floors.

Yabu and extremely selfish.

It wasn't so long ago I had a newborn. My bedroom shares a party wall with my ndn's, when the baby was newborn and woke during the night I/my husband would take her downstairs if she didn't settle quickly. As they did a few months earlier when their own child was newborn.

Because neither I nor my ndn are entitled fools who lost all perspective in the delivery room.

You cant expect your husband to do everything possible to get sleep but your neighbour has to be woken !

LongHardStare

It imprecisely because we remember how tiring life with a baby can be that we don't want to be woken by anyone else's if (as in this case) there is some alternative

precisely - not imprecisely

Gotta enjoy an OP who maintains they are being reasonable in the face of many YABUs!

On a vaguely related note, I was once staying on a campsite where a woman in a nearby tent was frequently using a breast pump. I admired her dedication to camping while expressing, but fuck me, it was loud!

Am I missing something or has the OP still not addressed why she can't leave the baby in the room with her DH while she pumps?

Her DH needs his sleep

Gotta enjoy an OP who maintains they are being reasonable in the face of many YABUs!

True, Duck - they are my personal favs. However this OP is SO unreasonable I still say reverse.

However this OP is SO unreasonable I still say reverse.

I would agree but what would be the point after so many confirmations that she was right?!

Sharoncatastrophe Um, this world? Give it a try.

I still want the OP to explain why it's so important that her husband gets a full night's sleep, but it doesn't matter if the neighbour does.

Did the OP not say pages ago she would try to sort it

Perhaps you could RTFT??

was that to me, south? I was asking why the OP could not leave her baby in the room with her DH. I wasn't referring to her muffling the sound with a pillow.

I have RTFT, ta.

Sharoncatastrophe this is rather embarrassing for you... You are wrong.

Well are we going to have another 5 pages of asking the same question over and over? The OP doesn't have to answer and has obviously decided way back on page 2 or maybe 3 or maybe it was 4 but certainly by page fucking 9 she doesn't want to.

I always say the same thing on these type of threads...noise is noise. Do your utmost to minimise the impact on others...be it a breast pump, a stereo or a child with special needs.