more of WWYD - 6 YOs left home alone during school run

[verdicchio]

Family I know have 4 kids - 10, 8 and 6 (twins).

Two older kids go to one school and twins go to another. Family live between two schools.

Mum works FT and dad is sahp. Recently I've noticed he doesn't have the twins with him when I see him taking the older two to school and this morning I heard him say to them 'hurry up, I've got to get back to the girls'. And then watched him drop off the older kids and go home, presumably to collect the twins.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. He's not gone long - probably less than 10 minutes - but it doesn't seem like a very good idea to leave them regularly like this. Am I being a really interfering busybody? What would you do ?

He might have asked a neighbour to stop for ten minutes. Why assume they're alone. That's what I would do and probably say too

You seem like an interfering busybody. You should do nothing.

YABU. Leave them alone

I think you're right to be concerned. Can you mention it to the school?

Tell the head and then up to her should something need to be done.

I expect I'd be called a busy body too when I reported one mother for having her under two years old girl on her lap when dad was driving and another mother for repeatedly not having a seatbelt on her front seat seated child.

10 minutes is nothing

If it's not even a 10 minute walk I'd be suggesting he stay at home with the twins and let the 10 and 8 year olds walk themselves to school

I am always astounded at how nonchalant people are on these threads.

You shouldn't leave a six year old alone, even for ten minutes.

And of course there's always the possibility that he'll get held up and they'll be left longer.

Why would you leave them??

Could you mention it to him? Or maybe their school? Not to get him in trouble but to make him see it's just not ok.

Considering where we live the older ones would be allowed by the school to walk there on their own. Why can't they do this and he take the younger ones. I wouldn't trust a 6 year old on their own they can get upto all sorts of trouble.

I'd be tempted to raise it with the school they can bring it up with the parents better then you.

He might well have left them with a neighbour or something. Do you know the family well enough to find out before going to the school?

"You seem like an interfering busybody"

Really Wildstallions? Are you the parent?

I think the OP is a caring member of the community, not an interfering busybody.

Well, if you're concerned, there's no harm in mentioning it to the school. You're obviously concerned, or you wouldn't be posting here.

Hopefully, everything is fine - but child protection is everybody's responsibility. I don't think this warrants a call to social services, but perhaps you should keep an eye on the situation.

(Disclaimer and all that: my own 6 year old has severe allergies, and I wouldn't dream of leaving him alone for a minute. If it wasn't for the allergies, he would probably be fine for ten minutes in the mornings and would love the responsibility - he is pretty sensible and knows how to make an emergency call.)

Maybe the mum's been off sick or working in a different location and going in later recently, so is home with the girls but the dad still needs to take them to school?

I've taken DC1 to school leaving Dc2 (3) at home recently. Alone? Of course not. DH was on a training course for a week so left just after 9; our cleaner turned up early a couple of times and was happy to keep an eye on DC2; a friend popped round to avoid builders in her house and supervised her DC and mine whilst I took DC1 to school. All sorts of possible reasons. I would be so pissed off if someone 'reported' me to the HT for neglecting DC2! (Though the HT would have laughed at them, knowing the facts already)

I think it's a big leap to assume they were home alone.

I would approach the dad and ask casually "where are the twins this morning?"If he says they are at home then I would tell the school. Otherwise I would assume they were with mum or neighbours.

why are the twins not in school too?

I don't know why he doesn't let the older two walk to school actually, that would make much more sense.

Mum is definitely not there, they don't have a cleaner and I think it's unlikely he would ask a neighbour (I know the family quite well) though of course that's possible.

I think I'll just casually ask him where they are next time I see him. I wasn't planning on mentioning it to the school at all. Just really wanted to sense check how other people would feel if they are being left on their own (and they may not be). And I know it's not very long but they're quite young (actually they may not even be 6 yet - they're in year 1)

abbs - they're linked schools with staggered starts so the infants start 10 mins after the juniors

MesH, I see where you are coming from. Every time I go to the local shop without my children, somebody asks where they are. I don't resent this (the whole neighbourhood seems to know I am a single mum on benefits ) - in fact I kind of the respect the safeguarding that is going on.

However, if the dad is seriously neglectful, there is no point asking him because he will just lie.

I'm glad people are looking out for these twins. Probably everything is okay, but it's best to check.

None of your business.

If they only start 10 minutes later why would he not just take the twins on the drop off for the older two then head on to their school?

I don't think YABU to be slightly concerned, but deffo find out whether they're definitely being left first before jumping to assumptions and if you find out they are could you offer to help if you're able?

I don't think anyone thinks it's acceptable to leave two 6 year olds home alone even for 10 minutes do they?

The 6YO have to be in school 10 minutes after the older siblings?

How far away from school do they live? Are we talking immediately next door or across the road from school?

I would have a word with the school, and they can raise any concerns in the right way if necessary.

If the children aren't being left, they'll find out and no harm done.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to know that these children are OK, and are not being a busybody by any stretch of the imagination. MN and its 'mind your own business ' mentality with stuff like this never ceases to amaze me.