more of WWYD - 6 YOs left home alone during school run

[verdicchio]

Family I know have 4 kids - 10, 8 and 6 (twins).

Two older kids go to one school and twins go to another. Family live between two schools.

Mum works FT and dad is sahp. Recently I've noticed he doesn't have the twins with him when I see him taking the older two to school and this morning I heard him say to them 'hurry up, I've got to get back to the girls'. And then watched him drop off the older kids and go home, presumably to collect the twins.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. He's not gone long - probably less than 10 minutes - but it doesn't seem like a very good idea to leave them regularly like this. Am I being a really interfering busybody? What would you do ?

I can't believe people think this is ok. You are not being a busy body. Why can't he take the tribes with him. It's a pain in the arse going places with my 3 young children but that's my problem and if I have to go into a shop or whatever I have to put up with this invonviemeve. Not worth the risk. Well done you for caring. Yes they prob would be ok, but this would make me 6 yo dd very anxious and children this young shouldn't be made to feel insecure. That is a parents job to make them feel secure.

I too am absolutely shocked as to how many people think it's fine to leave 6 year old children home alone.

Speaking as mother of 8 year old twins and also health visitor, can't imagine leaving my two unsupervised as they might fight or DD sometimes gets scared if I go upstairs, don't think it's on to leave them alone but I'm sure other (less caring) parents will disagree😕

OP, you aren't a busybody. If everyone did nothing when they were worried about someone or something for fear of being accused of this or the other MN favourite, 'judgemental', then the world would be a far worse place.

I think speaking with the dad or school is the way to go. If there's no issue, then no harm done.

I don't think 6 year olds being left for 10 minutes is that much of an issue really.

In lots of European countries it is seen as good parenting to give children of that age a bit of freedom to walk to school alone or stay home alone for short periods. Neighbours would be gossiping if you walked your 6 year olds to school!

I'd find it a bit weird for children 6+ to be scared of being at home with a sibling or going upstairs alone

Zzzz, do they have separation anxiety?
The 6 year old twins?
My just 7 year old plays on x box, watches tv, plays on trampoline, and doesn't even notice if I'm gone, for ages, outside at the garage, hoovering the car.

Isn't that more normal?

Notime, I too am on the bath thread and am now completely baffled!

there is no way i would leave 6 year olds at home alone not even for 5 mins. why dont he just take the twins with him. wonder if his wife even knows hes doing that.

Maybe Mum is still home getting the twins ready but needs to leave for work pronto....

If the mum is your friend then why don't you ask her? They're her children after all.

I don't see that leaving them for 10 mins is a problem. Presumably both parents are comfortable with this. And, yes, shit happens sometimes - even if you are the most careful, over-protective parent in the world - bad stuff can happen. But leaving them for 10 minutes is hardly abuse. What's normal and acceptable for some parents is neglect for others. When I was 5 I used to walk to school. By myself. Half a mile. When I was barely 10 I got the bus to school in the next town. Not a school bus either - just a regular bus. On my own again with all the random adults.

Presumably all those people saying 6 year olds shouldn't be left alone for 10 minutes without raising concerns with the school think that all those 6 year olds walking to school alone should also be flagged up with the school?

if i was to leave my kids at home even for 10 mins and it was reported to the school or what ever. ss would be on my door step pronto..its not worth the risk. actually no one would need to report as my kids would probably say something. at our school kids are not allowed to walk them self to school until year 5.

kids might be walking to school young in other countries but we are here not there.

i find it hard to get my head round why someone would need to do it... just take them with you.

All children are different though ghost, I think you have mentioned before that your child has behavioural issues that would make it unsafe for them to be left without adult supervision. Other 6 year olds may well be absolutely fine.

snoss yeah your right there not a hope in hell of me leaving the 5 year old home alone or with anyone who cant manage her... but i would not have any of my kids when they were 6. but maybe thats just my thing.

others have said its normal for young children to walk to school alone in the area they are in so that seems to depend where people live as well. is a madness though you could live in x kids walk to school alone all well... move to z and its the complete oppisit... anyway in general i dont think its right i just dont see why children cant go with dad to the school.

I read the entire thread wondering why the OP can't just mention it to her friend but then finally Rather asked. If she is a friend (and depending on how you broached the subject) I'd hope she wouldn't take offence by your concerns.

I personally wouldn't leave my child at that age unattended. Yes it is unlikely anything bad would happen but what if something did? I don't want to be that shoulda/coulda parent if I can help it and with this situation it is a choice. Yes, unfortunately bad things do happen but I could deal with it better if it was out of my control.

Very divided thread so good to just agree to disagree.

ghostspirit I did report a 6 yo left home alone 20 mins every morning and the school reported to as who couldn't care less said it was not a safeguarding concern.

Ss not as

Not mentioned it takes my friend as I haven't seen her. She has a new job working FT with a v long commute - she leaves v early and doesn't get back until early evening. So this arrangement is new for the whole family.

If I were seeing her more regularly, of course I'd say something. But I haven't seen her since the start of term and our only communication is on Facebook at the moment.

Will ponder. May have a look at the bath thread too

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