more of WWYD - 6 YOs left home alone during school run

[verdicchio]

Family I know have 4 kids - 10, 8 and 6 (twins).

Two older kids go to one school and twins go to another. Family live between two schools.

Mum works FT and dad is sahp. Recently I've noticed he doesn't have the twins with him when I see him taking the older two to school and this morning I heard him say to them 'hurry up, I've got to get back to the girls'. And then watched him drop off the older kids and go home, presumably to collect the twins.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. He's not gone long - probably less than 10 minutes - but it doesn't seem like a very good idea to leave them regularly like this. Am I being a really interfering busybody? What would you do ?

YNBU. I can't believe you've been slated for being concerned about children. Its small wonder that people often sadly turn a blind eye to things.
It'd also okay for someone to say 10 minutes is nothing but absolutely anything can happen in that short space of time.

they're linked schools with staggered starts so the infants start 10 mins after the juniors

So he's dropping off the older two then going home, collecting the twins, then back to the second school all within ten minutes? It takes more than ten minutes to get two 6 year olds with coats on, book bags, lunches and out of the door!
Could he be leaving the twins on the playground of the first school with a friend? He's anxious about the time as he wants to get back to them before they go in.

There is no legislation covering this. Lots of 6 year olds walk to school on their own. Many schools have a policy that KS2 can take themselves to school. He is not breaking any laws.

Or he could have left them in the car while he runs the older two in? I definitely wouldn't get the school involved. If you know the family well you can find out without doing that

"Many schools have a policy that KS2 can take themselves to school. He is not breaking any laws."

6 year olds would be year 1 or year 2. Therefore in KS1.

He drops the older kids at 8.40 but the other school doesn't start till 9am and gates are locked until 8.50. So plenty of time if he's home by 8.45. He doesn't drive, he walks.

The same was happening at the school our children used to go to.

The Dad worked full time and the Mum was a SAHM,she had a 4th child and would bring the 3 older children to school without the youngest,it was really weird as when the youngest was a baby she always took the baby with her but once the youngest became a toddler she never took him on the school drops offs or pick ups.

Either another parent said something or a teacher noticed or one of the older children from the family said something and the next minute the Police were at the school and the SS were involed.

It turned out there was alot more going on within that family for all of the young children.

It doesn't matter how long someone is out of the house anyone that has children knows that they can cause mischief and get into trouble within seconds if the mood takes them and with twins they could cause more damage and alot quicker than one child on they're own.They're still very young at 6 years old and anything could happen.

If it was me worrying about another family then I'd try to check first that they are being left on they're own and then if they were I'd let the head of the school know.It's better to be safe than sorry.

How do you know they are left on their own?

Can you offer to watch them?

I don't know they're left alone - just going on what I heard him say this morning and I saw him go back home after dropping the older kids.

No I couldn't offer to watch them.

It is everyone's responsibility to safeguard children.

I would report to the school and let them deal with it following their procedures. In a similar case I am aware of it turned out several people had reported the family due to their concerns over the children being left home alone.

Agree with zzzz I'm a child of the 70's & would play all day outside, only came in when it was dark.

Appreciate we are all responsible for safeguarding etc ... but aren't we just becoming a bit too paranoid & telling on people with NO actual hard evidence.

Also, I have recently become aware of someone reporting something that was total rubbish, this caused huge anxiety & stress for the family when it was totally unnecessary.

Thinking back, my own parents should've been reported everyday according to some of the opinions below.

I wouldn't report anything unless I had concrete evidence. That's my opinion thou.

I do wonder at times as well that a lot of kids these days lack discipline & respect due to parents being scared in case some busy body reports them!

6 year olds would be year 1 or year 2. Therefore in KS1

Thanks_ I think as a HT I know that! The point that I was making was that most schools have a policy from KS2 onwards but many younger children also walk to school. There is no law against this or against leaving 6 year olds alone.

The older two should walk. He could probably watch them walk down the road.

You certainly invest a lot of time in other peoples business.

oh goodness, they must be much more sensible than my two... and have better impulse control.

I would want to be sure that he was leaving the 6 yr olds alone before doing anything - they could be with a neighbour or parents of another child at their school for instance. I'd start with casually asking him where the twins are next time you see this.

I was on the receiving end of this sort of suspicion when DS2 was a newborn - we had an inline tandem pushchair, and the bit for the baby was pretty well invisible unless you were pushing the pushchair.
I only realised that our neighbours thought I was leaving DS2 home alone while I took DS1 to nursery when one of them collared me to ask in a very concerned way about "who's looking after the baby?" The look of surprised relief on her face when I swung the pushchair around to show her a peacefully sleeping DS2 said a lot. Thankfully she'd decided to ask me about it first before calling NSPCC or SS or suchlike.

I can't see that it's any different to mowing the lawn, or taking a shower with them in another part of the house. I guess it depends on the 6 year olds. But then I am a child of the 70s and we "played out" at that age

My dd went to school on a city bus alone when she was 5 and I'm sure I occasionally left her alone at home for more than ten minutes. She was a particularly sensible child, but really what is likely to happen to a couple of six-year-old left alone for a few minutes? What are people so scared about?

I would do nothing unless I had some other reason to have real concern. So generally, if the children all seem clean and dressed, being educated and not injured or unusually withdrawn, then I would leave the family alone.

Can you offer to watch them?

I never get this suggestion. If he is leaving them alone, for whatever reason, why should it be someone else jobs to step in a watch them.

I wouldn't take responsibility for someone else children everyday.

Anyway OP, I do think safe guarding is everyone's business. But I am not sure if this is an issue.

He may well have someone with them and need to get back to take them to school. When is said 'I need to get back to the girls' , he may have meant to get them to school.

Also some people do feel their children are grown up enough to leave. That's really their decision. I wouldn't have left my 6 year old alone. But she isn't the most sensible.

Even at 11 she hasn't been left on the house alone. Although this isn't a decision we have made. Me and dh work from home so one of us is usually here all day and we haven't ever needed to make that decision. If I needed I would now, I just haven't had to.

Personally I would chat to him and see if you can find anything out, to put your min at rest.

As pps point out, it's not that different from getting g a shower. I am sure they can use the phone and call their dad if there is an issue. Quite possibly, this has been a decision that has been well thought out by him and his wife.

Statistically they are safer at home than walking with their dad and siblings. Safeguarding is everybody's business but this is something MN seems very bad at assessing the risk of - they are 6 not 2 and it is 10 minutes in their own home not 2 hours. The seatbelt and child on lap when driving issue somebody else mentioned is a properly dangerous situation, but this probably isn't.

Obviously it depends on the children, but in most of Europe it would be considered absolutely normal to leave a 6 year old for 10 minutes in this context, assuming they are not more than usually dizzy, don't hate one another, no relevant SN and have a neighbour or neighbours they can walk to next door or a few doors down in an emergency, know how to phone the dad if he's delayed and then the mum at work or grandparents or similar in the unlikely event he has been run down by a bus (in which case its a bloody good job they weren't with him)... have done fire drills at home and would get out of the house on autopilot if the house fire alarm went off etc. etc. - hopefully everyone does that...

IME yes safeguarding is everybody's business, but 6 year olds home alone for just 10 minutes while their dad walks older children to school is not a safeguarding issue and trying to "do" something about this particular circumstance is a pearl clutching busybody issue, unless you know the twins flight to the death or are very immature and silly, or have relevant SN.

I do agree the more obvious thing would be for the older siblings to walk to school together though - unless they are crossing busy roads without manned crossings or dodging 200 idiots doing the school run by car and only caring about getting their own kid as close to the school gate as possible - dodging school run traffic is more dangerous than sitting at home for 10 minutes.

Sorry I would report this without a doubt. It is not your place to investigate or judge this parent, simply to highlight any concerns you may have. The nspcc website claims that children under 12 are often not able to cope ok in an emergency and these children are only 6! This is a safeguarding issue and no actual evidence is necessary, I wouldn't dream of trying to evidence sexual abuse and therefore why would I attempt to evidence neglect. For all those that seem to think its fine and the original poster is interfering, I am sure if the ht agrees it's ok the parents will have nothing to worry about.

Please highlight your concerns, I always wonder if the adults dining with Kate and Gerry felt uneasy with Madeline being left safe and sleeping the night she went missing? But had decided not to interfere !