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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain about the father Christmas we saw?

40 replies

Carrotpuree · 07/12/2015 15:45

On a visit to a national trust property this weekend, we excitedly took DS (nearly 3) and Granny to meet Father Christmas. This is the first year he's really started to understand Chistmas, the idea of presents and of course the big man in red. he also has a clear understanding of what naughty / nice is. Apart from being a bit shy and hiding behind his Dad's leg DS was perfectly nice, gave his name etc although didn't sit on Santa's lap so when the moment came for the "have you been a good boy this year?" question we were expecting a photo moment, big smiles, gift etc... However Father Christmas said he thought DS had actually been quite naughty this year. Cue tears from DS. He'd already asked DS's age so knew he isn't even 3 yet. I want to write & complain, If its "only" a joke and "just" a visit to Santa then don't charge £3.50 and advertise it for small children, but for the national trust I would someone who gets that you don't joke about being too naughty with a small child on the subject of Christmas pressies....AIBU?

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 07/12/2015 15:50

yanbu , that is just not nice , take poor DS to see a nice Santa .

Leelu6 · 07/12/2015 15:50

I will not be telling my kids about Santa but this guy sounds like a dick.

Did he at least give DS a gift?

PaintedTshirt · 07/12/2015 15:51

What an arsehole Yes complain! What did you say?!

My DD is the same age and I've not mentioned the naughty/nice thing. Just doesn't sit right with me, everyone gets presents in our house

Katastrophe13 · 07/12/2015 15:53

No yanbu. That would have made my 4 yo cry too. I think you should write in before he upsets any more kids. Your poor ds!

GothicRainbow · 07/12/2015 15:55

How awful, I would definitely complain - frankly I would expect better from the national trust. What a terrible thing to say!!

Bastardshittits · 07/12/2015 15:58

Wasn't the one at Stourhead was it? It was awful! My 6yrnold DS has a significant speech delay among other things. FC asked the children to tell a joke, DS stuck his hand up and came out with a fairly garbled string of words and the look of horror on FC's face and the 'well....yes....' He came out with was cringeworthy and I felt so bad for DS who never volunteers to say anything. He was then given an abridged illustrated copy of Oliver Twist as a present. He cried, I just didn't know what to say. Never again!!!

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 07/12/2015 15:59

I think YABU, if you think it's fine to use the naughty/nice as a threat and a description of kids, then you can't really complain when others do too.

Original poster

Carrotpuree · 07/12/2015 16:00

He got a small owl...which didn't help as DS had asked for a plane...more tears. We may just go back to the one at local garden centre and make up something about Santa ummmm....not being well last weekend?

I will complain though, Thank you for the support. Rotten old bugger needs to know you can't joke about this with little ones.

OP posts:

Snoopadoop · 07/12/2015 16:00

Really? I'm not sure I believe you. Why on Earth would a Santa say that?

Bastardshittits · 07/12/2015 16:02

Going by our NT Father Christmas experience this weekend I totally believe her!!

Snoopadoop · 07/12/2015 16:03

Complain then, very weird.

He got a small owl...which didn't help as DS had asked for a plane...more tears. - I'm not sure this is Santa's fault though.

Leelu6 · 07/12/2015 16:05

He reminds me of the Santa who gave Kevin a tic-tac in Home Alone

Yes, OP, do complain and send a tweet to NT for good measure.

Badbadtromance · 07/12/2015 16:05

Ynbu good grief

MissFitt68 · 07/12/2015 16:06

What do you mean he 'wanted a plane'? Do they get to dictate their gift then?

Stasie · 07/12/2015 16:14

I thought it was always like this. Its why we don't go. You always get a crap present that's not what you asked for, and in our experience you always get a slightly drunk old codger with no experience of contact with children.

Original poster

Carrotpuree · 07/12/2015 16:14

It was Croome Hall, Worcs.

We didn't expect DS to get a plane, it just didn't endear Santa to him any when it was a small owl. Like I said, he's only just started to understand Christmas so we're still working on some the finer details.

OP posts:

Stasie · 07/12/2015 16:15

Sorry, not unsympathetic btw. I hope your ds is Ok now.

When I was little, I thought you were supposed to ask FC for something you wanted and they actually gave it to you, right there.

It's a huge disappointment when they give you something entirely inappropriate.

Merrylegs · 07/12/2015 16:19

Oh I had a really bad Santa once - I think I may have shared it on here at time. I'm not usually that parent who 'has a word' but he was beyond rubbish.

DD was about 5 and really excited. It was a longish trail thing to get there and I also had DS, 10 who I didn't want to leave outside and who v sweetly wanted to share Dd's excitement (obviously didn't believe but relishing the 'grown up' role.) So they were chatting all the way around and they get to Santa - who says to DS 'well I don't know why you're here, you're too old to believe in all this nonsense.' DD looks at me like believe... nonsense...what's he mean...etc and ds is desperately trying to throw her off the scent 'oh you're never too old for Santa' etc and the grumpy old sod just keeps banging on about how ds can't still believe.....

It was rubbish and I complained and they said the usual Santa was ill and he was a stand-in. It was at a local garden centre - (don't let that put you off!)

Witchend · 07/12/2015 16:21

I remember bring quite upset at getting a colouring book. Dm thought I was being ungrateful and was not sympathetic. However what I was really upset by was I thought FC knew everything and he'd know we had loads at home and I didn't particularly want one.
I'd gave been pleased with an owl

Are you sure he wasn't teasing, which went wrong with the naughty?
I'm sure my dc have had them saying "You must have been naughty this year haven't you?"
Cue lots of giggling and assurances that they've been good. Worked with my shy dc anyway.

GreenPotato · 07/12/2015 16:23

This is why I always try to avoid "visitable" Santas! We saw one in a mall recently and I let DD go up and tell him what she wanted and have a photo taken, but it wasn't a payment/gift situation, that was all there was to it. I find the whole thing of going into a grotto and sitting on Santa's lap unbearably creepy and there's so much about it that can be upsetting, unless he is very good at dealing with kids (and let's face it there thousands of them out there, a good proportion will be grouches or otherwise hopeless!)

Saying your DS had been naughty is terrible. My 5yo DD would be devastated as she's been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster since starting school and she's really worried that having a few strops means she won't get nice things from Santa. I hate the naughty/nice message and the way it's linked to presents. It certainly hasn't come from us but she's picked it up at school and from songs etc.

I'd probably say something to them about their overly negative santa. I'd keep it light but just a phone call to say what he said and that DS was a bit upset.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 07/12/2015 16:25

Hey another reason why I think FC is a daft idea. Sorry OP, that sucks.

Merrylegs · 07/12/2015 16:28

The most hilarious Santa was at a Steiner school fair and he was super laid back and not at all jolly and quite hippyish and said things like 'yeah, so.... Christmas...yeah...so pretty intense...' and the kids were like what the..? And then he gave them their present and it was a pencil. I mean not even a jazzy coloured one or covered in glitter or rainbows. Just your regular HB. It wasn't even wrapped up. We still laugh about that.

dementedpixie · 07/12/2015 16:30

We used to say that those Santas weren't the real ones as the real one was very busy himself so had lots of helpers dressed up for you to visit. Also explains why there are so many of them

catfordbetty · 07/12/2015 16:34

At least your son wasn't given a lump of coal.

Stasie · 07/12/2015 16:41

Oh I HAVE to go to the Steiner fair now.

Actually, maybe not - I haven't properly recovered from looking round the school tbh.

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